Buffy the vampire
by Spikesslayer8
Summary: Set season 5, Very AU Spike is the slayer and Buffy is a vampire. When Dawn is taken by Glory, Buffy and Spike must band together to try and save her but will one off them end up trading their life for hers?
1. Bitter goodbye

**Buffy the vampire**

**Chapter one.**

**Bitter goodbye.**

Giles had convinced Spike that it was a good idea to take a weekend away to speak with a guide. He had a first not wanted to leave because Glory was still around and he just knew that sooner or later she would figure out that Dawn was the key she was looking for.

Spike walked into his house after a long weekend with barely any sleep, he could see all his friends in the lounge room gathering weapons he felt the panic rush through him something must of happened to Dawn he knew he shouldn't of gone away, he couldn't lose her not after losing his mother

"What happened?" Spike asked sounding paniked

"Spike your back" Willow turned he could see that something was terriably wrong

"Dawn where is she?"

"Dawn's fine she's at Xanders with Tara"

"Then what's with the group meeting?" Willow looked around at Xander and Anya

"How did the trip go" Xander asked

"Oh yeah bloody great death is my gift" Spike rolled his eyes

"Death is you're what?" Willow asked looking confused

"Death is my gift bloody rot if you ask me, so what's going on?"

"We where about to head out… you see… Glory got Buffy" Willow said quickly

"What? Oh no… Buffy knows that Dawn's the key"

"Hence the weaponry"

"Grab them" Spike replied heading for the front door

"Yeah but where do we start looking?"

"I have a pretty good Idea where to start, we'll go to the park where I killed Glory's pet snake and we'll just have to start looking through all the

apartments we'll start with the most costly ones first"

"Spike what are you going to do when you Find Buffy?" Willow asked

"I don't know, what ever i have to do to stop her from talking even if that means killing her"

Buffy had been chained to the ceiling of this crazy hell gods for what seemed like days but she knew it had only been hours, she was bleeding every where and she could feel her face starting to swell, she had finally told Glory that she would tell her who the key was of course she had no intention of telling her but she had to by time but Buffy found the most interesting thing had happened an hour ago not seconds after she told her she would give the key up she had watched Glory turn into a man if she remembered right the same man who had hit on her at a party a few months ago a man named Ben but now Glory was back and wanting answers.

"Now precious tell me who the key is"

"right the key… heres the thing its that guy…" she started playing with the chains that held her hands she needed to loosen them as much as she could she just hoped her plan worked

"On the TV what's his name?"

"On the television?" Glory said impatient and curiously

"On that show, the price show where they guess what stuff costs"

"The price is right" one of her minions said before another one jumped in

"Bob Barker, we will bring you Bob Barker, we will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Barker…" Glory stood up as she interrupted

"It is not Bob Barker you scabby morons the key is new to this world and Bob Barker is as old as grit the vampire is lying to me"

"Yeah" Buffy laughed

"But it was fun and guess what bitch? I'm not telling you jack; you're never going to get your sodding key cause you might be strong but in our world you're an idiot"

"I am a God"

"The god of what? Bad home perms"

"Shut up! I command you shut up!" she yelled Buffy knew she was getting to her and it was exactly what she wanted

"Yeah okay, sorry I just had no idea gods where such prancing light weights"

"Mark my works the slayer is going to kick your skanky, lop sided ass back to what ever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion victim, ex god like you" she felt her foot connect with her stomach before she even saw it, but it was good enough that chains gave giving her a chance to get away.

Spike and the gang had found Buffy running out of a apartment building the sun was just starting to go down and Spike was thankful for that cause from the look of Buffy she could bearly walk let alone see.

Spike carried her in to the crypt laying her on her back she was bruised and cut every where he wanted to cry for her when she opened one eye to look at him.

"Don't worry slayer I didn't tell her anything" Spike looked down shocked

"Why? Why did you let her hurt you like this?"

"Cause the nibblet didn't ask for this and she don't deserve it either… she's a good kid and I'd let Glory kill me before I let her get her grubby hands on Dawn… almost did"

"What you did for me, for Dawn I'll never forget it" he smiled at her as she slowly tried to sit up, Spike having to give her a hand

"There's something else, I got info on our local hell god… I've found probably her only weakness".

**One week later**

Everyone sat in the Magic Box it had been a week since her run in with Glory and she was almost completely healed.

"So what's the info you got Buffy" Giles asked as he watched the vampire take a seat

"Our Glory it seems when she was banished from her world was forced to live in side a human body"

"Who's the human host?"

"Ben" they all looked at her strangely

"Remember that party a few months back and the doctor bloke tried to hit on me?"

"That Ben" Spike asked surprised

"Yep my guess you kill the boy and…"

"The god dies too" Giles finished looking amazed

"That's excelled work Buffy" Buffy looked thrown by this

"Uh… thanks"

"How did you find this out?" Willow asked

"Well while she was at me about who the key was she started acting strange like she was going nuts and then she just turned into him... her minions where quick to get her out of my sight but she returned about an hour later asking if I remember anyone else being in the room I told her no and she seemed very happy with that… my guess is Glory has worked the kind of mojo so if anyone sees her little presto changeo instantly forgets and yours truly being something other then human stands immune"

"So chances are we've seen this change before but just can't remember it?" Giles asked

"More then likely, its all very crafty" Buffy replied taking out a smoke and lighting it up

"Oh great second hand stinkiness" Willow comented srewing up her face

"Oh give me a break red I've had a bad enough week" Buffy snapped

"Sorry" she replied Buffy's head snapped around at this she looked sincere it made Buffy want to jump up from her seat and make a run for it, it wasn't like the scoobies to be nice to her and to be honest it was a little unnerving.

"Well this is great I mean we can kill a normal guy" Xander said everyone looked down

"I mean I know he's an innocent but his not like Dawn innocent" still no one looked up

"Oh man" he sighed knowing no one could take a human life

"I get that if we don't do it Glory might get her hands on Dawn but I just can't do it… i can't take a human life" Spike replied he looked over at Buffy ever since she had almost died at the hands of Glory he had found a new respect for her, for a so called souless demon she had gone far and beyond and he knew it was wrong but over the last week he had started to have feelings towards her, he knew his feelings for her had started long before that but god knows he would never admit it.

He remembered when he first meet her he had been so attracted to her and who could blame him she was beautiful, now he watched her he could see that she was battling with herself, he had asked the gang to go easy on her after what had happened with Glory saying she had risked her life not only to protect Dawn but all of them too, he watched her stand.

"I get that none of you can take a life, I spent over a hundred years doing it, leaving a bloody path behind me and I did it with a song in my heart but all it took was for me to spend time with Dawn, working with you and even without the chip I could never go back to that but the way I see it is we have a choice its Ben or Dawn" she took a unneeded breath she could see they where all thrown from what she had said but she continued anyway.

"Dawn never gave up on me, she was nice to me when I gave her no reason to be, she once said to me that she feels safe with me and she should, I get that Ben might be innocent in all of this, I don't know if he's working with Glory or even if he knows what she has planed for Dawn and honestly I don't care… I'm a vampire and if it comes down to choosing between Ben and Dawn … well he hasn't given me one reason to take his side… ypu lot can't do it, I get that… so I will" she finished turning and heading for the front door.

"But Buffy what about the chip?" Xander asked

"Chance's are that by the time I'm done my brain will be dribbling out my ears, it will probably kill me but I'll get it done before it does" she replied as she went for the door again she was stopped as she felt Spike's hand on her arm, she turned to face him

"Don't stop me, its something that has to be done" he smiled at her

"I know I was just going to say I'll come and watch your back luv" she smiled at him hearing him call her luv sent chills down her spine.

"You should stay… look after Dawn, we don't know if Glory still has her minions collecting your friends in hope of finding the key" he nodded at this

"I'll call when it's done" she went to open the door when Giles voice stopped her

"There is one last thing that you all need to know" Buffy and Spike looked at him confused, walking back to the table and taking a seat.

"Can't it wait til later?" Buffy asked

"In all honesty Buffy there may not be a later for you" Buffy nodded in respones, he did have a point.

"Well get on with it watcher I have a god to kill"

"Yes very well… I have been going over the information that you got from the watchers council Spike and I think I can explain why Buffy you feel so protective of Dawn… you see when the monks who created Dawn, they needed the blood of two warriors to create a strong vessel… a warrior of light which is you Spike and one of the dark… that would be you Buffy" Buffy looked at first confused, Spike was blown away Buffy simply nodded and stood heading for the door again.

"Buffy are you okay?" Giles asked she turned to look at him

"It explains a lot… the way I feel for her… the connection... even before the chip i could never hurt the nibblet and I do want to find out more about it all but first I need to make sure she's safe, it's time to end this" she said turning back for the door she went to open it only to have Tara and Anya run in she caught them before they fell both where bleeding and out of breath, everyone ran over Buffy layed Tara on her back looking down at the girl in her arms.

"What happened" Buffy asked

"She got Dawn, she knows" she said before passing out Buffy looked up at Spike, she was to late.

By the time Tara and Anya came to everyone was ready to go out and try and find Dawn, they where all sitting as Tara tried to explain what happened.

"She came out of know where, I mean one second where eating at the Double Meat Palace next she has Dawn I didn't even see her any where"

"You didn't happen to see that doctor, Ben?" Spike asked

"Yeah he was at the table behind us, what has he got to do with it?"

"Well it seems that Ben and Glory are one in the same, they share a body" Xander quickly explained.

"So what happened next?" Spike asked

"There was this guy I think he was crazy started pointing at Dawn saying she didn't belong saying she was so pretty, all shinny and green, that she was pure energy and then Glory came at us... I'm so sorry Spike we didn't even have a chance to react" Tara sobbed.

"It's not your fault, what have you found Giles?"

"It's not good from what I got from the scrolls, there is not much margin for error… Spike do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Might help if you actually said it"

"Right, Glory intends to open a dimensional portal by a ritual blood letting"

"Dawn's blood?" Spike asked

"Yes… once the blood is shed at a certain time and place the fabrics that separate all realities will be ripped apart, dimensions will pour into one another with nothing to stop them... reality as we know it will be destroyed and chaos will rain on earth" he explained

"So how do we stop it?" he asked pacing

"The portal will only close once the blood has stopped and the only way for that to happen is… Spike the only way is to kill Dawn"

"There has to be another way why can't we stop her before she can start the ritual I mean we still have about an half hour till she can start the ritual right?" Spike asked.

"If my calculations are corect but Spike…" Spike cut him off quickly

"I don't want to hear it"

"Spike if Glory begins the ritual, if we can't stop her…"

"Come on say it… Tell me to kill my sister" Spike raised his voice angeryly

"She's not your sister"

"No she's not she's more then that, she's me… well us" he said pointing at Buffy

"The monks made her out of us… I hold her and I feel closer to her then… it's not just the memories they built, it's physical, Dawn is a part of me… the only part that I… I can't lose that… I can't lose her" Spike struggled to keep his emotions under control, the simple thought of losing Dawn shook him to the core.

"If the ritual starts then every living creature on this and every other dimension imaginable will suffer unbearable torment and death including Dawn"

"Then the last thing she'll see is me protecting her"

"You'll fail, you'll die, we all will"

"I'm sorry I love you all but I can't I'm sorry" he said as he walked into the training room Buffy stood up

"I get that you are all in a mood but before anything we need to find out where she is taking Dawn" Tara put her hand up

"I know where she's going" now she had everyone's attention.

**20 minters later.**

"Are we on time?" Spike asked walking next to Giles.

"Yes it's time"

"Okay you all know you place's… remember the ritual starts, we all die and I'll kill anyone who goes near Dawn" he said flatly as he walked passed them and out the door.

They had almost reached their destination when Spike turned to face Buffy, he wished he could tell her so much, how thankful he was that she was willing to give her life for Dawns, how proud he was that she had endured hours of painful tourture just to protect Dawn, how when he looked at her now he no longer saw and enemy but a friend instead and most importanly how he could feel himslf falling in love with her.

"I want to thank you luv for trying, it means alot" he wanted to say more but he just couldn't, fearing if he said more he would be inadvertantly saying goodbye.

"I'm counting on you… to protect her" Buffy looked up at him

"Till the end of the world" she replied Spike smile at her as they headed in.

They had been in the fight for five minutes now and what a fight it was, Buffy hadn't seen Spike since they had first arrived but she knew he was probably keeping Glory busy, she just hoped he could stall her long enough so Glory would miss her window of oppertunity.

"Has anyone else noticed that we are getting no where" Anya said

"Well its not all bad, while its true that we haven't gotten to Dawn but no one else had either" Willow replied, Buffy looked up at the tower something wasn't right and she knew it, she could feel it.

"Someone's up there" She said looking over at Willow and Tara

"What? Who?"

"I don't know, Willow can you work a little magic, clear the crowd?" Willow nodded taking Tara's hand.

"Go" Buffy took off running towards the crowd when she heared Willow yell "separate!", everyone blocking her way was pushed aside by an invisable source as she ran up the stairs, she reached the top to see a man cutting Dawn she watched as the portal started to open she was to late to stop the portal from being opened but she could still save Dawn.

She walked towards the man as he turned to face her she heared him mummble something before she pushed him aside not even looking as he fell from the tower, when she reached Dawn she untied her and started guiding her towards the stairs when Dawn stopped her.

"Buffy, its started" Buffy looked behind her as she watched creatures fly and jump out of the portal, she turned back to look at Dawn

"I'm sorry" Dawn whispered

"It doesn't matter" Buffy replied as Dawn tried to run around her to the portal Buffy quickly grabbed her stopping her

"What are you doing?"

"I have to jump"

"The energy will kill you"

"I have to Buffy look at what's happening, you have to let me go or it will never stop you know that, it has to have blood" at that moment Buffy remembered what Giles had said to her "Dawn was made from both you and Spike" she knew what she had to do, Dawn was a part of her she knew how to stop it

"I found out something today when the monks made you they didn't just use Spike's blood they used mine too… Dawn do you trust me?"

"Of course"

"Close your eyes" she watched as Dawn closed her eyes lowering her face to her neck vamping out and sinking her teeth into Dawns neck, she was not surprised when the chip didn't fire, she had no intention of hurting Dawn she only wanted to save her but to do that she needed Spikes blood too, she pulled back putting on her human face as Dawn looked at her.

"Your right it will never stop until it has the blood and now it will have it"

"Buffy no" Dawn gasped as she realised what Buffy intended to do.

"Dawnie I have to if I don't your brother will and I can't let that happen, this world doesn't need me but it needs him, he still has work to do, give this to him for me" she said slipping off her leather duster and handing it to Dawn.

"No" she said shaking her head as she cried

"listen to me please listen there's not a lot of time left… I've been looking for a reason not to like myself for a long time and this is it…. Dawn I love you, I will always love you but this is what I have to do… tell everyone good bye for me, you have to take care of them… you have to take care of each other… tell Spike, tell him I love him I could never tell him but I want him to know I love him so much… Dawn you have to be strong… the hardest thing in this world is to live in it… be brave, live… for me" she placed her hand on her cheek before placing a soft kiss on the same spot turning, running and jumping into the portal.

Spike had watched the portal close but he didn't know how, he ran towards where his friends where standing and that's when he saw it, the answer to how the portal had been closed, he looked to his right to see Dawn coming down the stairs, she had to small puncture holes in her neck and he knew how she had closed it.

Running to Buffy's body he scooped her up into his arms as he began to shake her

"Come on luv wake up… open your eyes for me" Giles kneeled down next to him

"Spike she's gone"

"No, no if she was dead she would be dust" he had tears running down his face

"Spike she jumped into a mystical portal its not like being staked… there is know way she could survive, no one could've survived that" he was shaking his head looking down at the young man sympathticly, he has a feeling that Spike had cared for Buffy much more then he was letting on.

"No she's strong she can get past this"

"Spike there's nothing left, all that she was is gone… now there's only a shell" Spike couldn't look at them, he knew she was gone he could feel it, even though he was looking right at her and he couldn't feel her presence or smell her scent it was all gone, it was like she wasn't there at all and now all he could do was cry as he held her lifeless body.


	2. Return to me

Chapter two

Chapter two.

Return to me

Two days later

William stood at the side of the grave; they had just laid Buffy to rest. If you could call it that. Every one had pitched in to help pay for the funeral. It was small but full of meaning. It was starting to get dark and everyone had left hours ago, he had asked Willow and Tara to look after Dawn for the night as he just wanted to be alone. But he couldn't forget what Dawn had told him as they got ready for the funeral this morning, the conversation still echoing in his mind.

"_Before she jumped she wanted me to tell you something." Dawn had said standing in front of him, helping him straighten his tie as they got ready for the funeral. She smiled up at him as he placed the leather duster on. Dawn had said Buffy had wanted him to have it._

"_What?" He said a bit shocked, she hadn't mentioned this before although William hadn't really been around to talk to in the last few days._

"_Buffy, before she jumped, she said that she knew if she didn't jump that you would and she couldn't let you." Dawn replied with accuracy. William looked down feeling the tears sting his eyes for the hundredth time in such a short amount of time._

"_She's probably right." He replied, trying to hide his glassy eyes. He went and sat on the bed as Dawn joined him._

"_She also said we all have to look after each other. That the hardest thing in the world is to live in it but to be brave and live for her." William smiled at this and touched Dawns face gently._

"_She loved you so much Dawnie... I just wish I had been nicer to her, I mean I know she was a vampire but she was… just… doesn't matter anymore." He sighed looking down at his hands, he had realized after seeing Buffy's body broken and bruised on the hard ground just how much he had cared for the girl. He had been falling for her, it wasn't love but he knew given time it could have been._

"_Were you in love with her?" Dawn asked looking into his eyes._

"_No, I don't know… I just know that after everything she did for us, there was more to her then meets the eye... I just wish I had gotten to know her better…. I felt… I feel for her, she's in my heart and now she's gone... huh story of my life." He spat bitterly._

"_She also said to tell you she was in love with you, that she loves you so much." William was thrown by this particular piece of information his sister had just delivered to him. Buffy had never said anything about this, but it explained why she had done so much for them, she had died for them, for all of them. William felt his body shake with tears as Dawn held him tightly._

William shook the memory from his mind, feeling hot tears stinging his face as he looked down at her grave. He didn't know why he was still standing there, in a way he guessed he was waiting for something, anything that would make them all wrong and him right. That Buffy was strong and nothing could stop her, nothing could keep her down or out of the game. But the more he stood there, the more he realized she wasn't coming back. The thought made him sick to his stomach; he had to do something to bring her back to him. Suddenly he knew just what to do.

"I'll get you back, I'll find a way." he whispered into the wind before walking off into the night.

Three months later

William and all the Scoobies walked towards the Summer's house, they had been at the Magic Box all day, again. Willow had found a spell that would bring Buffy back and for the last month they had been looking for the last needed ingredient, an item called the Urn of Osiris. Willow had tried to explain to William there was only one left in the entire world and it had been missing for decades so hope for finding it was close to slim to none. They stopped out side the Summer's residence as William turned to look at them.

"How does someone misplace an urn, especially one with that kind of power?" He asked sounding frustrated. He kicked the curb with his foot in anger.

"Maybe… maybe we weren't meant to find it." Tara softly added. At this, William's head snapped up at Tara, glaring.

"What? Like we weren't meant to bring her back? No. She died saving us, saving Dawn and now… she's probably in hell suffering, crying in pain… calling to us for help. I won't leave her there, I can't… she's counting on Me." he replied choking back his sobs as they desperately tried to rip through his throat.

"Spike without the urn the spell is useless." Willow reminded him.

"Then we'll find another spell." he snapped.

"There are no other spells you know that."

"Then look harder!" He snapped again raising his voice this time. He turned sharply and bee-lined to the front door. Opening it sharply he slandered into the living room with everyone in toe. William stopped abruptly as he stared at the vision in front of him and everyone behind him skittled to a halt, almost knocking William over. They all peered around him to see what had stopped him dead in his tracks. There stood Buffy, hair wild, confusion in her eyes and standing so still in the dress they all remember picking out for her to wear to be buried in. Her

"Buffy." William spoke softly as he took a step towards her only to see her step back a few steps as if in an attempt to get away from him. She looked around at all of them her eyes watering over as she spoke.

"Who are you people?" she asked in a mere whisper. Dawn stepped around her brother to look at the woman who had died saving her life.

"Buffy it's me Dawn, don't you remember me?" Buffy just shook her head as she looked around the room trying to figure out who all these people were.

"Do you remember any of us?" William asked.

"Should I?" she asked, her eyes now focusing on him.

"We're your friends."

"I wouldn't say that." Xander retorted, making his way to the front of the crowd.

"Xander!" Both Willow and Tara snapped simultaneously, glaring at him.

"Where was I? What happened to me?" She asked still confused looking at first William and then Willow, seeking for answers. Willow quickly tugged on William's sleeve and hastily pulled him aside. The others just stood there, looking at Buffy, not knowing what to do or say.

"What?" He snapped, his mind still reeling.

"Where ever she has come from it must have been one hell of a trip, to wipe her memory like that ya know. I don't think it's a good idea to rush her back into the truth just yet." William nodded in agreement and he turned back to Buffy.

"About three months ago you kind of disappeared; we've been trying to find you. But its okay now, you're safe here." She nodded as she walked around the room, admiring the things on display. It all seemed new to her. She couldn't understand why she felt so comfortable, so safe around this male stranger that spoke to her.

"What do you remember?" Tara asked as she watched Buffy walk towards a mirror.

"Nothing before now but it seems I'm a girl, blonde hair, green eyes and I look in my early 20's if I was to guess." She said as she admired her reflection. Everyone gathered behind her.

"Your 21." Willow answered looking at William who looked confused.

"That's how old she was when she was turned." She whispered to William who acknowledged this by nodding. Buffy turned back to look at them and they all stepped back to give her some room.

"May I?" William asked walking towards her. She nodded her head, knowing he wasn't going to harm her. William placed his hand over her chest as he felt the distinct _thump thump, thump thump _against his hand. Her heart beating. He looked at her, shocked and with tears in his eyes.

"You're human." He whispered, removing his hand from her chest like he had been stung..

"Am I not usually?" She laughed softly. The room returned to a hushed silence. Not a word was uttered as they stared at her. They stood there silent for a few moments before Buffy spoke again.

"Okay you guys are starting to freak me out."

"Sorry we just didn't think we would see you again… maybe we can make you some hot cocoa?" Dawn said looking at her. Her look was sincere.

"Do I like hot cocoa?" she asked

"You love it." Dawn said grinning and taking her hand, led her to the kitchen. The others stood there in shock, not moving from their places, faces in awe.

"That was her right? I mean that was Buffy?" Xander asked breaking the silence.

"That was her; I could always feel when Buffy was around and trust me it was her." William replied looking around at them.

"But she's human now." Tara said

"We all got that but how?" Xander asked.

"I don't know I've never heard of anything like this before." Willow replied, thinking.

"Spike did you get anything else off her?" Willow asked.

"She's human but I felt power, strength its still there but the demons gone." he replied looking out towards the kitchen, he could hear the distinct tinkering of cups.

"Looks like research time." Xander replied.

"Call Giles. Ask him to meet us at the Magic Box tomorrow. We'll meet in the morning." Everyone thankfully nodded, acknowledging that he needed time alone with Buffy. Xander and Anya headed for the door, waving goodbye before closing the door behind them. Willow and Tara remained with him. After Buffy had died Willow and Tara had moved in with him and Dawn to help out with the day to day stuff. William had felt so lost without Buffy and he was glad to have their support.

"What are we going to do about her memory?" William asked. Laughter trickled out of the kitchen along with the familiar clang of Dawn chucking the teaspoon into the sink.

"I know a spell that could bring it back but I don't think it's a good idea… I mean the things she has done in the past and where ever she was, to have all that come flooding back all at once. It might be too much for her." Willow explained.

"But her memory, it will come back right?"

"I'd say yes in time. It looks like when she was returned her memories where disrupted, like it was straining and her body could only cope this way… but given time I believe it will come back, probably bits at a time but eventually it will all come back to her". William nodded understanding, happy for this information.

"And until then?"

"All we can really do is be there for her, make her comfortable. When she does start to remember things, we have to be there for her. Try and help her process the memories by helping her connect the dots." Willow replied.

"Yeah and we can't force them on her either, it will freak her out." Tara chimed in.

"Plus the most important thing is to find out why she was brought back, how she was brought back and why she is human." Willow concluded. The three of them looked at each other, trying to predict the unpredictable.


	3. Remind me of me

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Remind me of me.

That night when everyone had gone to bed, William had shown Buffy to his room saying she could have his bed and that he would sleep on the couch. She had hesitated at first, feeling as if she was putting him out but he firmly had told her it was not a problem. Buffy lay in the unfamiliar bed, peering around the room, trying to adjust to her surrounding's. Trying to find something, anything that was familiar to her. Soon, she felt her eyes get heavy and reluctantly she gave in hoping maybe when she woke up, this would all be a dream. Soon she was falling, falling into her dreams. But something felt familiar about where she was. It felt too real. Looking up, she noticed someone standing in front of her. She began to speak.

"Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know: What's it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see? That's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land. Every slayer… has a death wish. Even you."

Buffy sat up with a gasp, touching her chest; she was breathing heavy and sweating. She tried to steady her breathing. That dream, it felt so real .She knew the voice was hers but she couldn't see who she was talking to. Trying to remember the face of the person she was talking to, she tried to calm herself by lying back down on the soft pillow. It was going to be a long night.

The next morning everyone sat in the Magic Box including Buffy. They were sitting around a round table. William had asked her to sit there when they had arrived. She saw the man she now knew as Giles remove his glasses and rub them on his shirt, cleaning them before placing them back on. Giles stood in front of her as he begun to talk.

"Now Buffy I would like to run some tests if that's alright with you?"

"First can I ask a question?" Her dream had been plaguing her since she got up this morning.

"Of course." He replied taking a seat next to her.

"What's a slayer?" Everyone one looked at her shocked.

"Why do you ask?" Giles tried to keep his voice steady.

"I had a dream last night; well I think it was more of a memory… I was talking to someone, I don't know who. I couldn't see their face. But I remember saying to them that death was there art, that every slayer has a death wish even them." Buffy glanced at William who was sitting beside her. She could sense that he knew what she was talking about just by the look at his face.

"Yes, well. I think its best that we give your mind more time. Before we discuss that with you. I think it would only confuse you more." Buffy looked at Giles sighing. She was getting frustrated, all she knew was these people where her friends or so they claimed anyway. They had told her that her name was Buffy and she had mysteriously disappeared three months before. But that's all she knew. Now with this dream she had dreamt last night…It was all too much, she needed to know more. Her mind craved it.

"I get that you are trying to help. But keeping stuff from me isn't helping; it's just making me more confused… what ever it is I can handle it." She replied with determination. Giles took a deep breath and glanced at William, who nodded. Giles looked Buffy in the eye and stated to explained what a slayer was, that demons and vampires where real and lastly that William or Spike as everyone called him, was the slayer. Giles then sat back, letting her take it all in. Buffy nodded slowly, standing and started backing away from everyone.

"So vampires and demons are real, Spikes a slayer and he kills them. You're his watcher whose job is to train the slayer…" She pointed to first William, then Giles. They all nodded and Buffy backed off a bit more.

"One last thing… are you all crazy? Vampires and demons... it's ridiculous." William rose from his chair and slowly approached her.

"Buffy. Just calm down, please." She shook her head violently. She then started to scan the shop and William took this moment to grab her arm. Buffy panicked and pulling her arm free, she hit him hard, in the chest. She watched on in horror as flew across the room and hit the wall behind him. Willow quickly leapt up from her chair and went to his aid as he landed on the ground with a loud thud. Buffy stared, shocked and unable to move. She looked down at her hands. Maybe they where telling the truth about all this. Maybe they're not crazy after all. A groan made her look up. She watched as William pulled himself off the floor and brushed himself off as if nothing had happened. As if she didn't just fling him across a whole room into a wall.

"Oh my God." She whispered.

"Well I think it's safe to say you haven't lost any of your touch luv. Still as strong as ever." William quipped, smirking. He walked over to her, while she remained rooted to the spot. He reached over and touched her shoulder gently, trying to reassure her. Pain started to swell in Buffy's head and she felt as though she had been hit with a hot wave. Grunting, her hands shot up to her head in pain. Suddenly, memories begin to assault her mind.

"_Don't stop me this is something that has to be done." He smiled at her._

"_I know I was just going to say I'll come and watch your back luv." She smiled at him and hearing him call her luv sent chills down her spine. Gotta love that British charm._

"Buffy what is it?" William asked looking concerned. Buffy noticed he had caught her before she fell. Someone brought a chair over as she opened her eyes to look at him. William guided her down, giving her the energy to speak.

"Don't stop me this is something that has to be done." She whispered to him. William smiled softly remembering these words. It was when they had just discovered that Glory and Ben were one of the same and Buffy was determined to save Dawn by killing Ben.

"I know, I was just going to say I'll come and watch your back luv." he replied saying the line word for word.

"What is going on? Who am I?" She asked confusion written all over her face. It almost broke his heart to see her in so much pain. William saw Giles signal for him to bring Buffy to him so they could do some tests.

"Buffy, Giles wants to do some tests; they might be able give us some answers." She nodded her head dumbly. All she craved at the moment was answers. Frowning sadly William led her back to the table where Giles was waiting. Buffy sank down into a chair and Giles begun his testing.

Later that night William and Giles sat in the Summer's house around the kitchen table. Buffy was having a shower and Dawn was on the phone ordering pizza for everyone. Willow, Xander, Anya and Tara said they would patrol for William tonight so he could talk with Giles.

"So what's the verdict?"

"From the data I have gathered from Buffy today its fair to say she's what we call a day walker."

"What does that mean?"

"A day walker is a former vampire turned human. They are stronger then humans as they retain the strength but not weaknesses of a vampire. I have only read of one other case like this. A vampire in New York named Lucas in the 1800's. He died saving the world and was returned months later human. No one knew how or why but they later discovered there was a prophecy to be fulfilled. My guess is that the exact same thing has happened with Buffy. We just need to locate that prophecy." Giles explained.

"We'll start looking tomorrow."

"Of course." Giles replied. He stood and walked to the door. William started to follow him.

"If you need anything…" Giles said turning to face William as he reached for the handle.

"We'll call." Giles nodded and pulled the door open. William watched his watcher walk down the path and get into his car that was parked on the curb. Satisfied, he closed the door. William went to turn around when he noticed Buffy standing at the bottom of the stairs. Taken aback, he looked at her, wondering why she was just standing there.

"Sorry." she smiled sheepishly.

"Its okay pet." he replied. Buffy looked at him, with a look that he couldn't understand. He didn't know if she had over heard anything him and Giles had been talking about but he wasn't about to ask.

"You hungry?" William offered.

"Starved." Buffy grinned. William stepped forward, heading for the kitchen. Buffy meekly followed behind.

"Dawn, when did you order those bloody pizza's?"

Later that night after they had eaten, Buffy bid everyone goodnight and headed up to bed. Well William's bed but bed all the same. She lay down, urging for sleep to come on. Today's events had exhausted her. Buffy tossed and turned in the bed, finally falling into a restless sleep it seemed. Soon images flashed and she was dreaming again.

_She stood in front of William and she had hold of his arms as she talked._

"_Come on, I can feel it Slayer, you know you wanna dance." Her voice was cocky, taunting him._

"_Say it's true, say I do want too." He replied, he pushing her violently to the ground. He towered over her, looking down at her as if she was nothing._

"_It wouldn't be you Buffy, it would never be you." He hissed at her, reaching into his pocket and throwing money at her like she was some dog on the street._

"_You're beneath me." He said calmly. He turned and walked out of the ally leaving her there to cry._

Buffy woke from her dream shaken and with tears stinging her eyes. Taking a deep breath she fought to control her emotions. That was not the Spike she had gotten to know. He looked at her with such hate and anger, like she was nothing to him. But how could that be so? He is so kind to her. Worried about her and understanding her at the same time. Buffy didn't understand and the more she remembered the more confused she got. It was seriously doing her head in. She took another deep breath and hopped out of bed. Making her way down stairs, she carefully slipped past William sleeping on the couch and headed for the back porch. Once out there she sat on the step gazing out at the night sky.

It wasn't long before she realized that she had woken William up as the back door quietly opened behind her. She didn't need to look to know it was him, she just knew. She didn't understand how or why but she chose not to question it. Her head hurt with so many other things. William took a seat beside her and turned to look at her.

"You shouldn't be out here alone." He said as he studied her features. Her eyes where slightly glassed over and she wore a sad expression.

"It's not safe." He injected again.

"I just needed some fresh air besides after today I think it's clear that I can hold my own anyway." He laughed softly at this. She was right; she had proved that earlier today. He knew he didn't have to join her out here tonight but he ached to be near her. He had to suppress a groan earlier when he saw her try and sneak by him as she headed out here. It didn't help that she was only wearing one of his white shirts and a pair of black knickers. He had felt him self harden at the sight of her. He inwardly scolded himself. This was no time to be thinking like that.

"That you can luv." he replied looking up at the sky, watching the stars twinkle. He couldn't look at her for a moment longer. The moonlight made her look so beautiful, so innocent and every part of him wanted to reach and touch her. Not wanting to scare her, he concentrated on the light movement of stars in the sky. Slowly but surely he felt himself soften. He turned to look at her once more, trying to figure out what she was thinking.

"You ok luv?" He queried.

"Please don't call me that." she replied turning her face away from him.

"What?" he asked confused. She looked back up at him.

"Luv… I'm not… your luv." She replied looking at the ground. His words from her dream echoed in her mind _"You're beneath me"_. She couldn't shake the words or the tone of his voice from her mind. It was so hateful, so cruel it made her want to cry. It seeped into her very core. William looked at her confused and more then a little hurt. He sat there in awe wondering could of happened to make her say that. They had be laughing and he didn't mind say they had also done a little flirting over pizza not two hours ago. What could have possibly changed in such a short amount of time? Then it clicked. She must have had another dream and it must have been bad from the look on her face.

"You had a dream didn't you?" He said looking at her. Nodding, she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"It doesn't matter." She shakily replied trying to hold back the tears.

"If it matters to you then it does matter." He replied placing a finger under her chin.

"You can tell me anything." He whispered eyes sincere. She felt a shiver run down her spine at the tone of his voice. It was only then that she realised just how close they where, their lips where so close she could feel his hot breath on her face. Feeling her heart race, she took a much needed breath and pulled back slightly.

"Did you hate me?" she asked bluntly.

"What? No I never hated you its just… sometimes I didn't completely understand you and I have a habit of losing my cool quickly… I have a tendency to do things or say things I don't always completely mean." Buffy looked down at the ground before looking back up at him.

"Like I'm beneath you." Buffy spat out. William closed his eyes remembering what he had said and done to her that night. He had been so cruel and harsh to her, taking his frustrations out on her. He wished that was one memory she wouldn't get back, but here it was. Looking back at her he quickly spoke.

"Oh god Buffy…" he sighed.

"So it really did happen?" She said interrupting him.

"Yes… but please understand I was being a poonce that night, I had been hurt on patrol and you where just there… I lashed out but I never hated you, actually before you di… disappeared I was starting to have… um… well lets just say things between us kind of got complicated." He finished shakily. She nodded her head, smiling at him.

"I'm starting to get that." she replied.

The next day Buffy spent most of the day with Dawn as the gang were looking into the prophecy. Giles had managed to find it, even though it was written in some foreign language and they were all trying to translate it.

"Uh huh." Willow said loudly as everyone looked over at her.

"I was able to translate part of the prophecy. I'm not to clear on it but from what I can understand apparently Buffy was tested to see if she was worthy."

"Tested, how do you mean?" William asked.

"Well when she died saving Dawn apparently."

"Her dying to save Dawn that was a test?" William snapped. The very thought of it made him furious.

"It seems so." Willow almost sounded apologetic. William took a deep breath trying to get his emotions under control as he continued.

"Worthy of what?" William asked walking over to her.

"That's the part I'm unclear on… something about an up coming darkness. That three warriors will have to battle… um… a warrior of darkness that's Buffy, a warrior of light that would be you Spike and the other of both… light and dark… Buffy is meant to bring it fourth or to being… some of the words are a bit confusing. I'm going to need more time to translate it but at least we know something." Willow concluded a small smile on her face. Just as William was about to reply to his friend, Buffy and Dawn walked in the shop laughing and smiling, carrying shopping bags. William smiled at the sight; they looked so happy, so carefree.

"So how was your day? Did you have fun?" He asked walking over to them.

"It was great! We went to the movies, had lunch at the Espresso Pump and then did a little girl shopping… I have quite the bank account so I discovered." Buffy smiled proudly at her new known knowledge. William smiled at her. After Buffy had died they had moved all her stuff from the crypt to William's place. He had found a bank book tucked away under one of her pillows. He had returned it to her that morning before they headed off.

"So I'd imagine." She smiled at him, feeling chills go down his spine as she looked into his eyes. He felt entrapped by them, she was gorgeous, the more time he spent with her the more his feelings grew, more then he ever thought possible. He quickly shook it, he could feel Buffy studying him.

"Our day went well too, we found out some stuff." He told her as he led her to the table.

"Cool so what's what?" Dawn asked, taking a seat next to Buffy.

"Well it mentions Buffy and Spike and a third warrior that Buffy will bring forth or something like that I'm not to clear on that part but they are meant to fight a coming darkness." Willow replied.

"Sounds kinda dire. What else?" Dawn asked.

"We'll know more soon." Willow replied.

"Well that's good right? At least we know something now." Buffy didn't reply she seemed zoned out as Dawn spoke again.

"Buffy?" Still she got no response. Buffy felt her head pulsate in pain and once again she was flooded by memories.

"_I get that none of you can take a life, I spent over a hundred years doing it, leaving a bloody path behind me and I did it with a song in my heart… its Ben or Dawn… she was nice to me when I gave her no reason to be, I get that Ben might be innocent in all of this I don't know if he's working with Glory or even if he knows what she has planned for Dawn and honestly I don't care… I'm a murderer, a vampire and if it comes down to choosing between Ben and Dawn he hasn't giving me one reason to take his side… you lot can't do it, I understand that… so I will."_

Buffy took a deep breath as she looked around at all the worried faces; she had tears running down her face she realised. She looked at William and Dawn.

"I was a vampire." She whispered looking at William now. It wasn't a question it was a fact and when no one said anything she continued feeling her anger build.

"How could you not tell me that?" She asked William. He could hear the hurt in her voice but he didn't know how to answer.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, he felt like a wounded animal.

"What do you remember?" Willow asked, diverting the attention away from her friend.

"Dawn was in trouble… I… I was going to kill someone to save her… Ben…. I… oh God I don't understand… it's still all so mixed up." She cried.

"Its going to be okay luv, just give it time." He replied finally finding his voice. He placed a supportive hand on her shoulder as she took it all in.


	4. Falling into you

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Falling into you.

Two weeks had passed and the gang hadn't come up with anything more about the prophecy. Willow was still trying to translate the text with Giles with no avail. William was spending most of his time with Buffy in hopes that if she was around someone familiar she would remember more. So far nothing had come to her. Today they sat on the back porch relaxing. Dawn was reluctantly at school and the gang where at the Magic Box, researching and helping Giles out with the shop. They where chatting about nothing in particular, just laughing at silly jokes and making small talk.

"Will you teach me?" Buffy asked suddenly. Her eyes were full of determination.

"Teach you what luv?" William asked a little confused.

"To fight. I wanna know how." William raised his eyebrow at her.

"If you don't want to I'll understand." she replied sheepishly looking down feeling slightly embarrassed.

"No I don't mind at all luv. How about we start right now?" he said standing. He offered his hand to help her up which she gladly accepted. Pulling her self upright, the pair moved to the middle of the yard.

"Okay luv what I'm going to do is not give you any warning. I'm just going to attack okay? See how many of your fighting skills are rusty."

"Okay." She replied stepping across the yard a bit before turning to look at him. William came at her and as he did so she quickly spun out of the way. Turning around they circled each other and William threw a punch that was easily blocked by Buffy. Buffy then ducked underneath the kick he aimed her way. As he tensed to strike again he was slightly surprised when she not only blocked him, but landed a hit of her own directly on his nose. Reeling back his hand automatically went to his nose as if to protect it. Buffy gasped in shock and she felt guilt wash over her.

"I'm so sorry!"

William pulled his hand away and saw the thin trickle of blood that had gotten onto his hand. He quickly wiped the blood away on the sleeve of his shirt.

"Its okay luv, I'm fine."

"I didn't hurt you did I?"

"I'm a slayer you can't hurt me."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to." William almost smiled. There was a time when the last thing Buffy would have done was apologise when landing a solid hit to his face, She would of more then likely laughed at him for being so careless. William smiled then, it was true they had been mortal enemies once but he had always enjoyed the dance as Buffy called it.

"I know, you always had a…" William started, he stopped himself quickly.

"A what?" Buffy quizzed him.

"Um… nothing. I meant to say you've got a mean right hook." Buffy smiled sheepishly, slightly turning her head away, letting her hair fall gently away from her shoulder as she did so. He loved that smile he could get lost in it.

"If you want to quit, I'll understand."

"No, we're here might as well go for a few more minutes." William replied determinedly. He secretly wanted to know what she had in her.

Buffy nodded as they both got into position again, for ten minutes they spared back and forth, testing each others reflexes. Buffy gasped when William suddenly rushed at her. Instinctively as they connected, they grabbed each others shoulders and fell back on the grass. William fell on top of her with a soft thud but before he could move Buffy easily kicked her body up; she flipped them over with ease and straddled William, eyes filled with glee. William stared up at the beautiful young woman, her beautiful blonde hair framed her face and the sun almost made her hair glow. Buffy's breath was coming out in short pants causing her body to move against his. William fought the urge of his body trying to react having her so close to him. Buffy placed her hands either side of his shoulders, which made her rub against him so blissfully. William groaned with the movement and Buffy suddenly realised how close she was from his soft lips. She could feel the hardness from within his pants against her thigh, her heart raced and she felt a warm moisture pool between her legs. William felt his breath quicken and he just knew he had to taste her. Swiftly, he pulled his hand up and placed it behind her head, crashing himself onto her lips. William kissed her softly but with some force, trying to persuade her to give him entrance. Buffy responded by opening her mouth to him and William felt her moan as their tongues massaged each other and the world around them seem to disappear.

William found his erection was pushing painfully against his zipper, he was so hard he felt like he was about to rip through his jeans. William felt Buffy rub her wet centre along his jean covered erection, making him moan again. William could hear Buffy making the most delicious noises and he felt like he was going to cum just listening to her. Buffy felt William's hands slide down her shoulder and then up her shirt, gently coming up to thumb her nipple through her sports bra. Buffy groaned as he did this and found herself rubbing herself harder against him. William could feel her heat though her jeans, she was so bloody hot. Suddenly she pulled away from him, a look of pure shock on her face. Buffy quickly leapt up and broke eye contact with him; she turned away from him but remained where she was. William quickly stood too, brushing the grass off of his jeans, he looked at her.

"Buffy I…" She quickly stopped him.

"Don't worry about it." He took a step forward but before he could say another word Buffy grabbed her head, screaming in pain. As she felt her legs fall from underneath her, all she could see and feel were the flashes of memories as they erupted in her mind.

_She was sitting in a chair with Spike kneeling in front of her, he was holding her hand._

"_I don't know what to say it's, just so sudden." she said looking at him._

"_Just say yes and make me the happiest man on earth." His eyes shone with love, pure unconditional love._

"_Oh Spike of course its yes." she replied as he placed a ring on her finger. She flung herself into his arms and he embraced her tightly._

Buffy opened her eyes to see William holding her, a look of concern and confusion washed upon his face. She was thankful that he had caught her.

"Buffy are you okay luv?"

"Were we in love?" she whispered looking up at him.

"Why do you ask?" he asked touching her face. Still the concern poured off him.

"I remember you asking me to marry you." Buffy whispered. William smiled sadly. He remembered this memory like it was yesterday. It had been a spell Willow had done that had gone so wrong. But when Willow had reversed the spell the feelings he had for Buffy had still clung to him. Since that moment he had craved her, ached for her but never told her.

"It was a spell Willow had done and it went wrong luv."

"Oh." Buffy replied looking a little disappointed, lowering her head.

"But I did… I do have feelings for you, I just never got the chance to tell you, and I always thought there would be more time." She looked up at him.

"And did I… did I feel the same?" She asked with a shaky voice.

"I don't know, you told Dawn that you cared for me but you never actually told me anything." he replied saddened. She nodded her head and Buffy slowly broke away from his grasp.

"I think I'm going to have a shower now." She said and headed for the back door. She needed to think.

"Buffy." She stopped, turning to look at him, praying that she could get inside without him mentioning what had happened between them not minutes before her memory flash. It was not the case.

"About what happened before..." She quickly interrupted him.

"Forget about it... it was a mistake."

"Was it?" William's voice cracked. Buffy could hear the hurt in his voice and more then anything she wanted to say that it wasn't a mistake. But alas, she couldn't, not now. She took a step towards him.

"Spike I don't know who I am let alone who I should be with. I can't remember you or what kind of relationship we had and I can't be with you till I can... I'm sorry." William nodded his head putting on a brave face even though inside his heart was breaking.

"Of course, I understand. You're probably right about it being a mistake." He replied. William walked past her and into his house, avoiding eye contact with her. He knew he shouldn't have said what he said to her even though he knew within himself she was right. A part of him wanted to hurt her, make her feel the pain he had. But the other part of him scolded himself for being so harsh to her.

Buffy sighed and took an unsteady breath watching William walk past her into the depths of the house. She had never wanted to hurt him but she knew she shouldn't have let her self lose control like that, no matter how damn good it felt at the time. But when she was so close to him she couldn't think straight, every part of her screamed to take him upstairs and finish what they had started. She could feel that who ever she was before she lost her memory had wanted him.

"Good one Buffy, me and my big mouth." She scolded herself out loud. She walked into the house and headed straight for the shower. Kicking herself the whole way, knowing she had done the right thing even if he didn't.

After Buffy had showered she had headed down to the kitchen for dinner. Buffy saw William had pushed his plate aside and walked out of the room as she entered and she heard his footsteps climbing up the steps, ignoring her, Dawn had asked her if everything was alright, noticing something was amiss but she couldn't answer because she really didn't know. Buffy shrugged her shoulders at the girl and thankfully she didn't pursue it any further. Buffy just hoped he could forgive her for being so weak and letting the afternoons events happen.

Buffy decided to head up to bed without even touching her dinner. Her mind was still spinning about everything. Flopping down on the pillow, she had thought she would never get to sleep but finally after hours of restlessness her body had gave in. It didn't take long for dreams to over take her mind or more correctly, memories.

She felt like she was lost, wandering through a place she didn't know and didn't want to know, an underground chamber perhaps or a lair of some horrible beast. This dark, forgotten place of dampness and decay made her cringe as she moved through the place. Wary and confused trying to figure out where she was and how to get out, she felt a part of her knew this was all just a dream. However, another part of her warned her this place was all to real, all to familiar to her. She knew she had been to this place before.

_Images jumped out at her and then faded away leaving her with the vaguest of memories. She could see candles flickering over a deep red pool… clawing fingers in the glow of light… beasts and the silvery glint of a cross. She could hear demonic laughter echoing among crumbling headstones. Faceless figures seemed to stalk her and then fade away. She suddenly was alone in an ally and without warning a shadow rose up behind her, foul and evil, a shadow as black as death, roaring through her head, her veins and her entire being as he whispered into her ear._

"_I could show you things you'd never imagine; you will sleep and then awaken to see a new world through my eyes." She could feel his cold breath on her neck and all she wanted to do was run but her legs wouldn't move, she was frozen to the spot. He grabbed her arms roughly turning her to face him and Buffy's eyes went wide as she looked at the pale man standing in front of her. His eyes so dark, so hollow she was sure if you looked into them long enough they would lead you straight to hell. She watched his face twist and turn. He pulled her forward roughly, his sharp teeth cut into her throat, blood spilling down her side. She screamed at the invasion only to have them muffled when his hand violently covered her mouth. She could feel her legs going weak, her heart slowing, hot tears glazing over her eyes. Her life slipping away slowly. She felt herself drop to the dirty cobblestoned ground as he released her and then watched him through blurry eyes as he cut his wrist with his own hand._

"_Aww, sweetie don't cry now. Angelus is here to take care of you." He whispered as he lunged at her again._

Buffy sat up in the bed, hand over her neck and breathing heavy. She was confronted with two strong arms wrapping around her and she knew she was safe away from the hell in the ally. She wasn't alone, slowly dying. She was in a warm bed wrapped in William's arms. She could feel her heart pounding furiously in her chest and this was comforting, made her feel alive. She knew she had been, one night very long ago she remembered she had been in that ally.

"Shh your okay luv." Buffy sobbed into his chest, the tears taking over and she felt William rubbing her back, slowly rocking her and whisperings sweet nothings into her ears. Slowly the tears subsided and she pulled back slowly to look at him. Every part of her wanted to reach out and kiss him, to touch him but she restrained.

"What are you doing in here?" She asked wiping her tears away.

"You where screaming and I was worried. I came to check on you."

"Who's Angelus?" She asked knowing she wasn't going to like the answer. But answers she had craved about herself for so long. William looked down at her with such worry in his eyes.

"Who is he? Tell me." She demanded.

"What do you remember?" William asked gently. She looked down at the bed sheets and took a much needed breath before looking back up at him.

"I was underground in a chamber I think… there was these things… claws and teeth and blood. So much blood." By the time she was finished she was whispering, shaking with fear.

"And then I was in an ally, I didn't even see him coming… he just came out of no where and before I could do anything he had me… I think he bit me." She finished looking up into his eyes.

"Did he say anything?" William prompted.

"I could show you things you've never imagined… something about sleep and waking… to see a new world through his eyes and then he bit me."

"How do you know it was Angelus?"

"He dropped me to the ground… I couldn't move… my whole body went numb, I was so weak, oh god I felt like I was dieing… that's when he told me not to cry, that he, Angelus would take care of me… then he cut him self and attacked me." Tears started to streak down Buffy's face again and William held her tighter.

"I was so scared… his eyes… they where empty, hollow… so dead… what did he do to me?" she asked pulling back to look at him.

"Buffy..."

"Please I need to know." Her eyes where shinning with tears but they where also begging him to be honest with her.

"That was how you were turned luv. He turned you into a vampire." He whispered wiping a tear from her cheek. She grabbed his bare shoulders as if her life depended on it, her eyes begging, pleading.

"Please tell me I never did that to anyone… please tell me I didn't hurt anyone." Buffy's voice cracked, tears streaming down her face once again. William felt his eyes watered over as he looked at her.

"I can't." he choked.

"Oh god… lie to me please just lie to me." she begged, her whole body shaking with tears now. William held her tightly still rocking her slowly, trying to comfort the woman the best way he knew how. He sat with her until she couldn't cry no more, until she let it all go.

The next morning Buffy slowly opened her eyes only to be met with bright blue ones, ones she had come to know so well. The ones she had fallen in love with. She knew that now, she just had to find the courage to tell him. She smiled softly as she looked into them, almost letting herself get lost in them.

"How are you feeling this morning?" He asked gently pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. She smiled at him before rising up off the bed.

"Better, worse… guess I'm not sure yet." William came and stood in front of her and he slowly reached out touching her face. She pulled away from his touch.

"Please don't." She whispered, moving away from him. She felt like she didn't deserve his touch, his kindness.

"Why?" He asked moving in front of her again this time cupping her cheeks in his hands.

"I don't deserve it." she whispered again looking into his eyes.

"That's rot." Buffy saw anger flicker across his eyes.

"Is it?" She asked again moving out of his reach.

"I've killed Spike; I've hurt so many people, taken so many lives."

"You remember?"

"I don't need to, I feel it." she replied, placing her hand on her chest, her eyes glassing over with the thought of it.

"Buffy your not that person, not anymore." William tried to reassure her.

"Are you sure about that? I mean how can you know?"

"Before you disappeared you started changing, even without a soul. You showed a kindness I never saw in any vampire, without a soul that is. I know you Buffy I've seen your heart and its real." He replied, looking at her with sincerity and cupping her cheeks again with his hands. A tear sprang from her eye and rolled down her cheek. William simply wiped it away with his thumb.

"God, why did you have to be so wonderful?" She whispered looking into his eyes. William smirked at this, that smirk that made her melt. William let his hands fall away and moved his lips towards hers.

"Tell me to stop Buffy." He challenged in a husky voice. Buffy breathed in heavy, unable to form words. She looked into his lust filled eyes, she wanted this, and she wanted him. She just hoped she wasn't making a mistake.

"If you don't want me, tell me to stop." William challenged again. Still she said nothing as he moved closer to her.

"Do you want me to stop?" she looked up into his eyes, his lips just inches from hers now. Buffy felt her skin grow hot and her breath coming out in short pants. She could feel her heart start to race. Not allowing herself time to think, she finally spoke.

"Never stop." she muttered as she quickly placed a hand behind his head. Their lips met, tingling with passion. Their kisses soon became desperate as if they had been waiting a life time for this. William was the first to pull away. Buffy smiled at him as he looked at her, drinking her in. She looked so young and innocent when she blushed he realised. Suddenly, William watched on in horror as Buffy squeezed her eyes shut, screamed in pain and grabbed her head in pain. Buffy's legs went from underneath her as her mind was invaded once again, this time she felt door after door open as her whole life poured back in.

_She could see bodies every where, people screaming, crying she could smell their fear, their blood and she liked it. She was in China fighting a slayer and getting the upper hand she bit into him. As she sucked the life out of him the young man uttered something to her._

"_Sorry but I don't speak Chinese." She hissed dropping him to the ground. Now she was in New York fighting a young black man, another slayer, he was on top of her. She could hear the clanging of the train and looking up she realised she was inside a carriage. It suddenly went dark and Buffy used this moment to flip him, catching the slayer off guard. The lights flicked back on and in one swift motion she snapped his neck violently. There was so much pain, so much death and she had caused it all._

_She was in Sunnydale with Angelus; she was looking at a younger Spike._

"_Who are you?" he asked, looking at her with curiosity._

"_You'll find out on Saturday." _

"_What happens Saturday?"_

"_I kill you." She replied walking off. Angelus had left her saying she wasn't demon enough for him cause she helped Spike stop Dru from ending the world. Now she had Xander and Willow and she was forcing Willow to do a spell or she would kill Xander._

_She was standing in the sun light talking to Spike. They where fighting, Spike grabbed her hand and ripped the ring off her finger as she felt the sun start to burn her. She was some where underground, she got out but she couldn't fight, couldn't defend her self, she had gone to Spike for help. _

So much poured into her head it felt like she would die at any moment and more than anything she wanted to scream "make it stop" but nothing would come out. That's when she felt it, the unmistakable pounding in her chest, and the warmth on her cheeks. She knew she was alive but more then alive… she was human. Now she remembered everything. It was like the sun had finally come out from behind the cloud, she was blind no more.

She opened her eyes, scaling the room, still on her knees. She remembered the last few months and what was almost about to happen between her and William. She tried to suck in a breath but she felt like she couldn't. Again she looked around the room trying to focus on something, anything. That's when she saw the one person she cared for the most… Dawn, the only person before she had died who had always had time for her and not because she needed or wanted anything but just because she enjoyed her company. Buffy and Dawn had held a close bond and Buffy had found out just before she died why… Dawn had been made out of her (well her and Spike). She had felt that every time she was close to her but hadn't been able to put her finger on it until the watcher had discovered it. Buffy tried to focus, to steady her self so she could stand on her legs. She watched as Dawn walked towards her reaching out to touch her.

"Buffy can you hear me? Are you okay? Do you remember who I am?" She asked still walking towards her. Something was different in her eyes now Dawn realised. Buffy felt herself moving away from her and even though all she wanted to do was hold her and make sure she was alright. For some strange reason she felt the need to keep her distance.

"Dawnie?" Buffy uttered in a mere whisper before her world turned black and she fell to the floor with a thud.


	5. The beauty in breaking down

Chapter five

**Chapter five**

**The beauty in breaking down**

William slowly approached his bedroom where Dawn and he had left Buffy not 15 minutes ago after she fainted. He could hear her pacing the room a good sign that she was now awake. However as he opened the door to step in, Buffy shot across the room to the farthest window and huddled into a ball. William stepped in and closed the door and turning he could see Buffy rocking now, like she was a scared child.

"Buffy?" William called softly moving towards her. Noticing William's movement towards her, Buffy stood quickly, fidgeting with her hands. She had tear stains on her cheeks that he noticed as she looked up at him. William stood there, worried. He reached to touch her face to wipe away the tears when her whole body started to shake.

"Tell me what happened to you?" He whispered only to watch her eyes fill with fear. She backed away from him and William felt as though he had been stung.

"Don't... please don't touch me." William looked at her confused but stepped back away from her, giving her space. Buffy started to pace near the window.

"Buffy I don't understand." William said shaking his head in confusion.

"Every time someone touches me I remember... I remember more and I don't think I can take more... I don't think it could fit in my head." Buffy whispered clutching each side of her head. She looked so afraid, so fragile and William felt his heart break for her. Suddenly she stopped pacing and looked at William.

"Buffy..."

"They scream." She uttered a mere whisper.

"What?"

"When you… they scream but some just freeze, like they can't move, they're too terrified… children they usually scream, little babies…." Tears poured from her eyes now.

"Buffy…"

"I've killed and maimed for two hundred years... drank them all up and now they're all dead."

"Oh god Buffy..." More then anything William wanted to reach out and comfort her, to tell her it wasn't real. Knowing it would be lying but seeing her like this was eating him up inside. He never thought he would hear what came out of her mouth next.

"You should have killed me." Buffy said, deadpanned.

"What?" William almost screeched. How could she say something like that?

"Do you have any idea what I'm capable of?"

"Believe me I'm well aware of what you're capable of. Were capable of."

"You got off easy, you've never met the real me ... tell me do you know how much blood you can drink from a human before they'll die? I do... you see the trick is to drink just enough, to know how to damage them just enough so that they'll still cry when you... cause it's not worth it if they don't cry." Buffy finished tears in her eyes once again.

"It's not your fault, your not the one doing this." William replied trying to comfort her, Buffy laughed at this shaking her head.

"I already did it, it's already done." She snapped at him.

"You wanna know what I've done to girls Dawn's age?... this is me Spike, accept it already." She hissed at him. She could feel her skin going hot, getting angrier by the minute. For the life of him he just didn't seem to get it.

"No, you think you got insight now because your souls drenched in blood... you really don't know do you, do you!? Was that you who killed those people? Was that you who waited for those girls?" William heatedly replied.

"There's no one else." she whispered.

"That's not true... listen to me, I saw you change, I saw your penance long before you became human."

"Window dressing." Buffy quipped.

"Be easier wouldn't it, if it was all just an act but its not. You Buffy faced the monster inside you and you fought back, you risked everything to be a better person..." He could feel his voice rising, flowing over with emotion.

"Spike..."

"And you can be, you are, you may not see it but I do, I do... I believe in you Buffy." he finished. Every part of her wanted to accept what William had just said. But she couldn't not with everything she had done.

"You shouldn't." she whispered turning away and walking to the window.

"Buffy..."

"Get out." she whispered.

"Buffy please..."

"I said get OUT!" She yelled swinging around to look at him, anger flashing within her eyes. He nodded numbly before walking out the door closing it behind him.

William sighed and leaned against the bedroom door. He could hear Buffy sobbing again and more then anything he wanted to go back in there and hold her, comfort her but knowing she would never let him. How had things gotten so mixed up not even an hour ago he didn't know. They had been locked in a passionate embrace and now she was yelling at him to not touch her, the weight of everything she had done weighing down on her soul. William heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Thinking it might me Dawn, he turned to his right watching Willow walk over to him. William silently breathed with relief.

"How is she?" she asked.

"I don't know, her soul is weighing heavily on her, she so angry, confused and scared." He replied with a heavy sigh.

"Scared of what?"

"Herself... Willow I don't know what to do for her." He felt so helpless.

"That's actually why I came up to see you, Tara and I where talking and she mentioned a spell we could do to help. Its purpose is to bring inner peace." she explained.

"She slaughtered half of Europe Will, some how I this it's going to be a little hard for her to find inner peace just now."

"I know I know it might not work but maybe it can help even a little. If it doesn't then we haven't lost anything by trying right?" William breathed in deep absorbing what Willow had just said to him. She was right it wouldn't hurt to try. He couldn't stand by and do nothing.

"Okay do it." Willow nodded as she walked back down the stairs. William put his ear to the door. He could still hear Buffy crying but it was much softer now. Sighing, he headed downstairs to find Dawn.

William waited patiently for news that the spell had worked and when Xander finally told him it had been done he went straight in to see her. He opened the door slowly and closed it behind him like last time. The room was full of light. Buffy was still sitting near the window, the sunlight bathing her body as she looked out into the day. William decided he could never get sick of seeing her standing in the day light, she looked like a vision. Like the sun was made just for her, to make her glow. More then anything he wanted to reach out and touch her but he restrained in fear of scaring her like last time.

"Buffy?" He said softly. She turned her head slightly to look at him briefly before turning back to look out the window again.

"Say that again." She barely whispered. William took the opportunity to move closer to her.

"I just said your name… Buffy."

"Sounds so odd don't it?" She replied.

"What do you mean?" William pushed.

"It wasn't my name when I was human… when I was human the first time I mean."

"What was your name?" She turned around to face him, she noticed he had moved his way across the room and was now only a few feet away from her. She didn't seem to mind though.

"I don't remember… I'm not her whoever she was… I was Buffy for so long… then I wasn't, I wasn't anything. I just stopped… I jumped and I was done, then they brought me back."

"Yes." he replied taking another step towards her.

"What did they bring back Spike? Who am I? Did they bring back that girl whose name I can't remember? Or did they bring back something else? That other thing?"

"Both, neither… your just you. Whoever that is." William replied. How could he answer her questions when he didn't know the answer's himself? He just wanted her to feel better, not doubt her entire being.

"Why haven't you kissed me yet?" She asked suddenly walking to him. She stood in front of him, pouting her lips.

"I…I didn't know if you wanted me to." He stammered, completely taken aback. He gazed at her intently. More then anything he wanted to kiss her, to hold her in his arms.

"Why should that matter? Do you think I ever hesitated when I wanted something? Life's to short for that. Believe me I know… 200 years and still to short." Buffy's speech seem to stir something inside of him, making him want her even more now if that was even possible. He reached out to her face and stroked her cheek before he found his lips crashing on hers, his hand now in her hair. Their kisses became more urgent, more needy and dripping with the passion they held for one another. William felt Buffy break away and move down his neck, taking a sharp intake of breath as she did so. It was sending shivers down his spine just feeling her hot breath on the side of his neck.

"What am I?" She seductively whispered into his ear.

"I don't know and I don't care," he replied, running his hand down her side to her breast. He suddenly felt a sharp pain on his neck and he realized that she had bit him. Yelping he jumped back, hand going instinctively to the sore spot.

"Now do you care? That's how vampires get what they want… what am I?" She yelled as she stood in front of him, eyes full of fury.

"Buffy." He managed to mutter.

"Is that it? Am I Buffy?" she asked urgently.

"Yes." William breathed.

"Careful Buffy would snap you in half… is that who I am?" She spun around and moved back to the window frustrated. William stood there stunned, unable to answer her. Swimming in his own thoughts he at first didn't hear the sound of Buffy's tears as she desperately tried to prevent them ripping through her throat.

"I understand what you're going through." He desperately tried again. Buffy turned to face him. For the what felt like the hundredth time today, there were tears rolling down her face. William watched as the woman he loved placed her hand over her beating heart mournfully.

"No, nobody understands, nobody can understand… I can feel this body dying Spike. I can feel it decaying moment by moment… its being eaten away from this thing inside of me… it's a cancer… this soul."


	6. Running from this nightmare

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Running from this nightmare.

William was still reeling from what Buffy had just said as he slowly walked down to the kitchen. Everyone was sitting at the large dining table eating leftover pizza, making small talk. When he entered the room there seemed to be a silent hush come over all of them and they looked at him with questioning eyes. Restlessly, he ran his hand though his hair before leaning against the kitchen bench.

"How is she?" Giles asked. His concern was evident.

"She's been better that's for sure. Don't worry I think she's started to calm down a bit, thanks to Will and Tara." Willow nodded smiling softly.

"Dude what happened to your neck." Xander exclaimed, pointing to the bite mark on his neck. William's hand instinctively covered the mark, in a weak attempt to protect Buffy and her wild actions.

"I'm fine it's nothing." He mumbled trying to dismiss it.

"Did she bite you?" Dawn asked, rising from the table and walking past him with a plate of pizza.

"Yeah. But its okay our conversation just got a bit heated is all. Nothing to worry about really." Dawn nodded and she headed for the stairs.

"Dawn where are you going?" William asked his sister, taking his weight off the bench, getting ready to follow her if need be.

"To give Buffy some lunch. She has to eat you know."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Spike she died saving me. She's not going to hurt me." Her voice was so confident he gave in watching his sister walk up the steps, the plate of pizza clutched in her hands. He had to trust her. Dawn slowly walked up to the door and tapped on it lightly. When she got no answer she bravely opened the door and stepped inside the room. She was sitting near the window staring out it. Dawn slowly put the plate on the end of the bed before she spoke.

"Buffy." she said softly. Buffy whipped around at the sound of Dawn's voice making Dawn jump slightly the suddenness of this.

"It's okay niblett. You don't need to be afraid." She reassured Dawn as she moved to sit her on the bed. Dawn cautiously sat down too, looking at Buffy with sadness in her eyes.

"Buffy are you going to be okay?"

"Oh Dawnie don't worry about me. I'll get through this some how but I need you to know no matter what happens, no matter where I am I'll always love you." Buffy said lovingly touching her face.

"Are you going some where?"

"Maybe. But let's keep that between you and me for now okay." Dawn nodded slowly before looking up at her with tears in her eyes.

"This is all my fault if it wasn't for me you never would have had to jump and everything would be okay."

"No Dawn don't talk like that, this was never your fault. I did what I had to it was always my choice. Remember that. No one forced me and I would do it again in a heartbeat, you are so important to me Dawn and I will always be with you." Dawn smiled at this.

"Here I brought you up something to eat, thought you would be hungry and all. Its just leftover pizza though. If you want I can go and fix you something else…."

"Dawnie don't be silly. Leftover pizza is fine." Buffy took a piece of pizza off the plate and bit into it. Satisfied, Dawn stood to leave.

"I'll be back up later to get your plate yeah?" Buffy nodded her head. Dawn smiled at her again and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Dawn had gone back downstairs to finish her lunch but what Buffy had said to her was still playing on her mind. She knew Buffy didn't want William to know she was planning on leaving. Every part of her wanted to do anything she had to stop her from leaving her. She didn't want to lose her again.

Buffy sat on William's bed with the phone clutched to her ear. She needed help and she was calling the only other person in the whole world that would come close to understanding what she was going through.

"Hello Dru investigations we help the helpless. How can we help?"

"Drusilla?" Buffy whispered softly.

"Buffy, Buffy is that you?" She could hear the concern in Dru's voice and was a little surprised. They had never really seen eye to eye in the past. However it was evident that William had rang her and told her what happened.

"Buffy are you okay?"

"No, I'll never be okay. Not now, not ever again... I told him that no one could understand but you can. Can't you... you know how it burns don't you?" Buffy rambled out.

"Yes I know Buffy."

"I need your help... will you help me?" She sobbed, tears coming from no where.

"I'll help you... I'm coming to get you okay?"

"No. They won't let you. They won't let you take me... I'm going to leave to night I'll come to you." Buffy heard footsteps in the hall and as the door opened she saw William standing in the doorway.

"Buffy give me the phone." He said calmly, slowly walking towards her with his hand out, expecting her to give the receiver to him willingly. She clutched the phone to her chest tears still streaming down her face.

"I have to go to her Spike. You have to let me go." She whispered to him her voice cracking. She could hear Dru calling her name through the phone. William moved closer to her, hand still outstretched.

"No I can help you." He tried to convince her. He didn't want to lose her again.

"No you can't. You don't have it in you Spike. I'm sorry." she replied shaking her head.

"Please Buffy..." He didn't get to finish. Buffy suddenly swung the phone receiver at him and it connected with his head, hard. The sheer force knocked him to the floor and he realized he was seeing stars. By the time he got up she was gone.

It hadn't taken Buffy long to get to L.A once she had stolen a car. Thankfully it was an automatic so all she had to do was put her foot on the gas and steer. Her head was still pounding with the thousands of screams and nameless faces. She had decided to head straight for Dru and instinctively dumping the car a few blocks away she headed for the one person who was going to help her. When she walked in the front door of the hotel Dru was sitting in the foyer as if waiting for her to arrive. Buffy gave her a weak, relieved smile before she was hit with a sudden wave of dizziness. Dru raced to her side, catching her before she hit the floor. She could tell that the girl's adventures had finally taken there toll on her. Dru gently picked Buffy up in her arms and laid her down on the couch while Cordy got her a glass of water. She sat up to sip the glass while Dru positioned herself on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Guys, can you give us a minute?" She asked looking up at Cordy, Wes and Gunn who were all looking on with curiosity. They had all been told what had been going on in Sunnydale but the last thing they expected was for Buffy to turn up here. They all slowly nodded, walking out of the foyer.

"I don't remember anything... could it be that there is no hell?" Buffy whispered to her.

"No there's a hell I've been to it."

"I'm so lucky to have someone who understands... you never had that did you?"

"I wasn't your fault." Dru tried to reassure her.

"No but so much is."

"It's going to be okay." Dru reassured her.

"I knew you would help me... knew if I could only get to you... you'll make the pain stop won't you?" she whispered happily.

"It takes time Buffy."

"Takes moments... do it... now." she whispered baring her neck to the souled vampire.

"What?" Dru gasped standing.

"Make me what I was again. Please." she begged rising off the couch and standing to face her.

"Buffy..."

"You said you'd help me." Buffy felt herself getting angry.

"And I will but not like this." she replied, shaking her head and stepping back from her.

"Turn me back... oh god, I can't bear this pounding in my chest of another instance." She cried.

"It's a gift don't you get that... to feel that heartbeat to know that your truly alive... your human again Buffy. Do you know what that means?" she replied.

"Of course I do it means pain, suffering, disease and death... please just turn me back."

"No... Buffy please." She turned to confront the voice coming from the door although she already knew who it was. William's hair was wild and he was a little out of breath. She really wasn't too surprised he had found her here. He slowly approached her.

"Buffy..." He started again.

"God Spike why won't you just leave me alone."

"Please Buffy I just wanna help you."

"Well I don't want or need your help." she said raising her voice at him. Dru stepped between them to try and calm the situation.

"Okay you both need to calm down."

"Dru stay out of this, it's none of your business." William snapped at her.

"It became my business when Buffy came looking for my help." Dru snapped back.

"Buffy we both just want to help you but it's up to you what happens. Your more then welcome to stay here or you can go back with Spike. It's your choice." Dru informed her softly. Buffy looked at William he was beside her now. Taking a step towards him she cupped his cheeks in her hands and she felt him into her touch.

"I need time... time to heal and work through things, Dru understands... you need to leave me alone... I'm sorry... William." She said softly as if a whisper. She let her hands fall from his face and walked past him and up the stairs.

"You must be loving this." William hissed at Dru.

"You just couldn't let me be happy." he continued to rant.

"You think I wanted this? All I want is to help Buffy... you have no idea what its like to of done the things we have done and to care... believe it or not Spike this isn't about you and what you want, its about Buffy and what she needs." Drusilla snapped at him before storming past him and up the stairs to help Buffy get settled in. William let a silent tear roll down his cheek before wiping it away. He could feel his heart breaking, feeling as though he had lost her already and fearing he would never get her back.


	7. Time well spent

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Time well spent.

Time seemed to pass so slowly for William after he left Buffy in LA with Drusilla. It had been three months to the day since Buffy had told William to leave her alone. He knew that she was still staying with Drusilla, his former lover due to short exchanges between himself and Cordy when she rang. He hadn't heard a peep from Buffy, not that it stopped him thinking about her everyday. He now stood nervously outside the hotel where he has so reluctantly left her grasping a thick file in his hands trying to pluck up the courage to go inside. The sun glimmered off the magnificent structure, making it look almost surreal.

What would he say to her? Would she be the same? Would she even want to see him? Inhaling deeply, he willed him self to calm down. Finally after ten minutes of debating with him self about whether or not he should go in he finally plucked up the courage to walk up to the from doors of the hotel and walk in. William scanned the lobby feeling a little disappointed when he only saw Drusilla look up from the reception counter.

"Spike for what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" she asked smiling softly. William walked over to her cautiously, not liking the huge space he was in.

"I... um... I've got so information I think Buffy would like to see, is she about?" He stammered nervously looking around.

"Actually she's out with Cordy at the moment. They're due back any minute now." Drusilla replied. She could see that the slayer was nervous as hell and who could blame him. Before she could say anything else the two women walked in the front entrance giggling about something between themselves. Buffy stopped dead in her tracks the second she spotted William, the laughter stilling on her lips. She felt her new friend stop too, a look of awe on her face. William felt like he couldn't breathe she looked so radiant, so alive. All he wanted to do was reach out and touch her. Knowing better, he held his hands firmly in place.

"Spike, what are you doing here?" Buffy finally managed to utter, the shock of seeing him there was almost overwhelming. He looked so handsome, his hair slightly tussled and his button up top slightly undone. But he looked exhausted. Everyday since he had left she had wanted to call. Everyday she picked up the phone but was unable to dial the number. Now here he was.

"Um Cordy, do you wanna give me a hand with some papers?" Drusilla asked.

"Yeah, sure." She replied smiling at Buffy reassuringly before she walked past her and into the back office with Dru. When the door clicked close William walked stiffly over to Buffy, but didn't get too close. He decided to stay at the bottom of the steps rather then climbing them to be at her level.

"I've been doing some research about your past..." William informed her bravely.

"My past?"

"Yeah remember when you said you couldn't remember your name when you were first human?"

"Yeah?" she replied questionably. William smiled at her and handed her the thick file he had in his hands. Buffy took it with much curiosity before opening it to scan though the contents. Slowly she begun to read the contents out loud, trying to vitrify the facts in her mind as she did so.

"Elizabeth Annabell Winters, born 24 of April 1780, died 12 of May 1801 age 21. Cause of death severe neck trauma and the body was drained of all its blood... it was written up as... an animal attack... Oh my God! I was to be married a week later." She pulled out a photo of herself and a well built young man. In the photo they were smiling and holding each other in a loving embrace.

"Riley." She whispered gently touching the photo of where the young man was.

"I remember thank you." Buffy said, looking down into his eyes.

"Your welcome luv, you look happy." He said pointing to the photograph.

"I guess we were." Buffy sighed.

"You guess?"

"He was a friend of my fathers, they worked together at my fathers law firm... it was an arranged marriage." she explained, the information coming to her so easily. She looked down at the photo again.

"Did you love him?" William asked. Buffy looked down at him and felt herself taking a deep breath.

"No. I cared for him, he was sweet but dull man, I um... wanted excitement and adventure in my life... Be careful what you wish for huh?" she answered honestly sighing. She placed the photo back into the file and closed it.

"Yeah... well I just wanted to give you that. I'll leave you to it." William put on his brave face and ascended up the stairs to the door. Buffy watched on in horror as panic gripped her.

"Spike." She called out desperately. He turned to face her, puzzled.

"Um... maybe we could go get some lunch. I haven't eaten yet, I thought we could catch up." She said sounding hopeful.

"That would be great." William beamed. He watched as she held her hand up in a stop motion and bounded down to the office Cordy and Dru had disappeared into. Quickly slapping the file on one of the desks near the office door she then opened the door slightly for a few moments before she shut it again. He smiled at himself when she came racing back across the foyer to join him at the double front doors.

"Shall we?" Buffy motioned as they stepped out into the warm sunlight.

William and Buffy sat in a quiet little café that Buffy had recommended, sipping coffee and eating there inexpensive lunch. Buffy placed a fry in her mouth and chewed it briefly before swallowing it. William was telling her about some of the chaos that was happening back in Sunnydale and Buffy couldn't help but laugh.

"So how's Dawn?" Buffy asked, taking the last few fries off her plate and stuffing them into her mouth.

"She good, she misses you." William felt himself reply honestly.

"I miss her too." she whispered, putting her head down, looking at her now empty plate.

"Then why don't you come home?"

"Spike" she warned him.

"I'm sorry we all just miss you. We want you to come back to us."

"I know I miss you guys too." they sat in silence for a moment. Buffy decided that rather then sit there doing nothing she would take a sip her coffee. That's when she heard William laugh softly.

"What's so funny?" she asked looking up at him.

"I just haven't gotten completely used to seeing you eat normal food, drinking coffee and all that is all. Bloody weird." Buffy smiled at this.

"Yeah I'm still getting used to it myself, I had forgotten how good food could taste... Damn, look at the time. Its getting late I guess I should be heading back." Buffy said looking at her watch.

"Yeah I guess. They're probably wondering where you are." he agreed sadly. William had insisted that he pay the bill no matter how much Buffy protested. Finally she gave in, watching mournfully as he paid the lady. The pair headed out the front of the cafe not sure what to say next. An awkward silence fell over them as they walked, each wishing that it didn't have to end so soon. They approached the hotel all too soon. They stopped and looked at each other, still lost for words.

"So..." William started.

"So..." Buffy said looking at the ground. William took a deep breath.

"Listen I'm staying just down the street at the Omni Hotel room 217."

"Fancy." Buffy smiled.

"Yeah it's Giles doing you know him always has to get the best... um so maybe you'd like to come back with me. We could have coffee and catch up some more?" He held his breath waiting for her response, fearing the worst. Buffy desperately wanted to say yes what harm could a little coffee do? But for some reason she couldn't bring herself to say yes.

"That's probably not a good idea." She replied. William felt his heart crush but did his best to hide his disappointment.

"Yeah you're probably right." he agreed sadly.

"I should head off. Got to call everyone back at home and that. But it was good seeing you again Buffy." he said.

"Yeah tell Dawn I'll give her a call." Buffy replied feebly. She felt terrible and could see that William was hurt by her rejection.

"Sure... take care" he smiled before he turned and started off towards his hotel.

"You too" she called out, not knowing if he had heard her. Buffy didn't understand why she had said no to him, it was only coffee. Perfectly innocent right? Deep down she knew it wouldn't be, in the few hours they had spent chatting over lunch she had felt that all to familiar pull towards him. She loved him, she always had but she feared getting close to him again. What if she opened her self up to him and only ended up getting hurt or worse what if he was the one to get hurt? She couldn't bare the thought of it.

She looked to where he had walked away realizing she could no longer see him. She started to walk, deep in thought, knowing that Dru wouldn't miss her for hours yet. In the past three months she had struggled with her past, the things she had seen, things she had done. Drusilla had been helping her of course but she still had the nightmares or memories as they really were... she would wake screaming, gasping for air some nights. The memory of having to dig her way out of her own coffin assaulted her subconscious deeply. But Dru was there every time to calm her and reassure her that everything would be ok. Still her thoughts would often drift back to William.

She missed him every day, she wanted to be with him but she felt she didn't deserve him. It was her justification of keeping her distance from him. She longed to go to him right now to hold him and tell him she wanted him like he wanted her. As the months had gone by she had felt her entire being going numb and more than anything she just wanted to feel again... feel anything. When she had walked into the hotel this morning and saw him standing there she had been overwhelmed, she wanted more then anything to run into his arms and hold him, tell him how much she missed him... for the first time in months she had felt... felt love.

Buffy stopped, a passing car breaking her thoughts and looked around at her current surroundings. She realized she had been walking for about ten minutes now. When she realized she was standing out the front of the Omni Hotel where William was staying, she couldn't quite believe she had walked this way. She looked up at the building in front of her. Would it be so bad if she went up to his room? Maybe have that coffee he wanted and only coffee... Yeah right. The way she was feeling at the moment she knew if she went up there coffee would be the last thing they would be having. Yet she felt her feet carrying her over the road, into the hotel lobby and to the elevator. It was as if she wasn't in control of her own actions. She couldn't stop herself, she didn't want to stop herself.

She stepped out of the elevator walking down the hall. She found his room easily but when she went to knock she hesitated, what was she thinking? She shouldn't be here. As she turned to leave the door to the room opened and there standing in only a towel, was William. Looking totally luscious with water droplets dripping down his hard, rippled chest, Buffy felt her breath catch in her throat. _'Oh God!'_ Her mind screamed at her. She felt moisture pool between her thighs just at the sight of him. _'Run! Turn around and get the hell out of here'_ Her mind screamed at her again but her body flatly refused to move.

"Buffy... I thought heard someone at the door. I figured it was the maid or something. Is everything ok?" He asked perplexed looking a bit surprised at the same time to see her standing there. Before Buffy could stop her self she felt herself launch herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him passionately. Walking him backwards into the room she kicked the door closed with her foot. The slamming of the door seemed to break the spell and William pulled away from her. Buffy felt herself slightly she whimper at the loss of his warm body so close to hers.

"Buffy what are you doing?" he breathed looking confused.

"Don't you want me?" She asked looking up at him her eyes begging him not to reject her. Not when she needed him the most.

"Buffy..."

"Please Spike I just want to feel...I want to feel something. Don't you want me?" She whispered afraid of the answer.

"You know I do." he replied.

"Then shut up and take me." She demanded pressing her lips against his again. William felt himself give in to his desire, kissing her back. Finally falling into what he had wanted for so long, he let his passion take a hold of him he did as he was told.


	8. Breaking me softly

Chapter 8

Breaking me softly.

As they kissed William wrapped his arms around Buffy before slowly walked backwards towards the general direction of the bed. Their kisses became more intense but not needy. What felt like eternity, William felt his legs bump against the mattress. Buffy let her hands roam over his almost completely naked body, caressing his perfectly sculpted chest. She felt him shudder under her soft touch and Buffy couldn't help but smile, a rush of feminine pride coursing though her. Who knew she could cause such an effect on him?

Breaking their kiss, William slowly unbuttoned Buffy's top before slipping it off her shoulders and letting it carelessly fall to the floor. Looking into her eyes he could still see her hesitation. He cupped her face with one hand and let his lips softly touch hers. More then anything he wanted her to know she was safe with him. He moved his other hand through her hair and then slowly down her back. Buffy felt herself let out a small moan before William kissed her again, letting his hand on her face slip down to her breast, kneading it softly. With the hand on her back he gently and skillfully undid her bra clips. Buffy felt the straps of her bra slide down her shoulders and with William's help it too was soon on the floor along with her shirt.

Buffy tugged at Williams's towel, and much to her delight it fell away easily, pooling at their feet. William started moving down to her neck, spraying hot wet kisses as he did so. Buffy felt him run his hands down her back before cupping her bottom with both hands. He then quickly unzipped the skirts zip. It fell to the floor softly and William seized the opportunity to admire what stood before him. He couldn't help but groan at the sight of her. She was a vision. Her hair pooled around her shoulders in soft golden waves, her skin gently flushed and her lips slightly swollen from their kisses. Her breasts sat perfectly upright, her nipples slightly pointing outwards. He felt himself grow hard knowing that Buffy stood before him, wearing nothing else but a silky black thong and her black high heels.

"Your so bloody beautiful pet." He whispered huskily into her ear. Buffy felt herself shudder at his words. She felt him run his hands up over her thong to her hips. It felt so blissful that she almost didn't move to slip out of her shoes. Stepping out of them she was now a bit shorter and she could feel his hard cock on her thigh. Never had she experienced anything like this, never in all her life had it ever been so physically intense, the sensations, the burning, the heat. This was totally different, more different then anything she had ever experienced. As for William this real, messy, hot, stupid, ridiculous need, made him want to beg, laugh and just shag Buffy all at once.

Slowly William guided Buffy onto the bed where she laid down, her hair pooling out onto the pillows. As she gazed up at him wearing nothing but her black thong he could see that she was now flushed with desire for him her pupils dilated and her chest was heaving in anticipation. Gently William reached out and hooked his fingers under each side of her thong before sliding the down her soft legs and discarding it to the floor.

Moving upwards to face her, William gently ran his fingers to caress her cheek before slowly running them down her naked body. Buffy felt the soft feathery touch roll around her breasts as she sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. She then felt William's hand move down to her navel, making unplanned patterns on her stomach. She opened her eyes and gazed at him. His eyes were full of heat and lust for her, everything she felt for him and more. Her body ached for him and every touch felt so right. Slowly William moved his hand towards her core running his fingers down into her heat.

"Oh god." She moaned as his finger ever so slightly grazing her nub. William took one of her heaving breasts into his hot mouth, nibbling and sucking on it gently as he let his hand still roam along the outside of her folds. Buffy felt like she was on fire, the multiple sensations almost too much to bear. Unwillingly, William moved his attention to her other breast, the cool breeze from his movement on the now hardened wet nipple sent a delightful shiver though Buffy's core. William gave the other breast the same treatment as the first, first nibbling on the tender nipple before sucking on it, making it hard. Satisfied, William started to move down her body, leaving soft wet kisses in his wake. He shifted himself down between her legs, removing the hand that was lightly caressing her folds. Buffy suddenly felt embarrassed and clamped her thighs together in an attempt to hide herself from him.

"Don't hide from me please. Open up for me luv." He whispered his eyes pleading. Slowly she allowed him to part her thighs and William couldn't help but inhale her arousal. Admiring her shaved pussy, he used two fingers to pull her lower lips apart to admire the view. Not giving a moment to prepare, he suddenly let his hot tongue slide from her wet hole to up against her swollen clit.

"Aaaah!" Buffy wailed.

William removed his hand from her folds, as he sucked her nub into his mouth, rolling his tongue around it skillfully. It took all of Buffy's strength not to scream and instead she gripped the sheet beneath her, finding herself thrusting her hips at him. She looked down at him to find him looking up at her, his mouth still assaulting her, his eyebrow raised. The feel of his tongue and the look in his eyes were a dangerous combination and Buffy could feel herself losing control.

"Spike... Oh god please... Don't stop." Buffy managed to pant out, begging him. She felt his hand move towards her wettened hole, sliding two fingers in easily. Buffy moaned at the sudden intenseness of stimulation. Over and over he pumped his fingers into her welcoming heat, hitting the right spot every time. Buffy moved her hands to run them though William's hair and the feel of him inserting another finger deep inside her was too much to take. Her body started to shake of the pure intensity of the orgasm before she screamed in release.

"SPIKE!!" She wailed as the waves of pleasure started to subside. She felt William remove his mouth from her nub and withdraw his fingers and she couldn't help but whimper at the loss. Positioning himself on his knees in between her legs, she could feel the tip of his erection waiting for permission to enter. Wrapping her legs firmly around his waist she moved her hips forward slightly as a silent answer. William groaned as a wave of pleasure shot through him. The feel of her wet centre rubbing against him made his knob bounce in response and he slowly he slid his hardness into her. William looked down at her, groaning at his own pleasure as he saw her gasp. Buffy could feel her core being filled by him, being stretched from him. She ached her back up as he filled her, the sensation pure ecstasy.

He stopped momentarily giving them both time to adjust to each other. Buffy had never felt so complete. They fitted perfectly together and she moaned once again when she felt him start to move inside her. With slow, long strokes he massaged her inner walls coursing her to whimper. William lent forward kissing her lips, groaning in pleasure. He never knew it could feel this good, this right.

Taut muscled abs against firm stomach, naked flesh against naked flesh. William groaned at the sensation. This was incredible. So hot, so tight, so wet. He felt like he was going into cardiac arrest or something. Buffy's legs were still wrapped around him and when she wrapped her arms around him, he felt her pull herself onto him, sitting up she started to ride him. William knew he wasn't going to last much longer, she felt too incredible; he was doing all he could to ignore how wonderful she felt. The way her muscles were fluttering around him. Her moaning every time he plunged back into her and the way her fingers lightly rubbed up and down his back was just heaven. The way she moved her hips up and down on him, embedding his hardness deeper into her hot core.

"Spike..." Buffy moaned, leaning her forehead against his. They stared into each others eyes; she had never had a single experience quite like this. So sensual, so intense it made her want to cry, run, moan and make love to him all at once. She tried to choke back her cries, the moment so powerful.

"Oh god Buffy you feel so bloody good." William muttered, still looking into her eyes. Buffy moaned at his words as she fell back onto the pillows, giving William the control once again. He lifted her legs to rest against his chest as he increased his pace, his hardness pressing deep inside her core, she could feel her orgasm nearing once again.

"Oh god harder... Faster." She moaned. William obediently thrusted into her harder, increasing in his pace. He soon felt her inner walls flutter again, watching as she ached her back, her orgasm taking a hold of her.

"Oh Spike..." Buffy moaned in pleasure as he felt her inner muscles spasm and contract around his cock. Pumping into her as she came, William could feel his own release building. He pumped harder three or four more times into her before he came with an intensity he had never felt before. His body jerked uncontrolably as his cum filled her welcoming womb.

"BUFFY!!" He roared in his release, over come by emotions he looked into her eyes. Letting her legs fall down to her side, he laid down on her, his softening cock still twitching inside her. He ran his fingers softly down her arm before he looked up at her.

"I love you." he whispered touching her face. The second he saw the look of fear in her eyes he knew he had made a mistake saying that. He should of know she wasn't ready to hear that from him.

"What?" she asked in disbelief.

"I love you." William whispered again. Buffy shook her head at his admission.

"No... You can't... I... Get off me." She stuttered.

"Buffy what's wrong?" Buffy pushed at his chest and he rolled off her. She stood by the bed, her skin still lightly covered in sweat from the recent activity, she begun shaking.

"This is meaningless." She whispered. William felt his heart break but he stood wrapping his black shirt that was draped on the chair around her naked form.

"You're shaking; Buffy is this about what I said? I don't expect you to say it back I just wanted you to know how I feel about you." He whispered watching her button his shirt up.

"I shouldn't of come here." she replied moving past him grabbing her skirt off the floor, not even bothering to put her thong back on. She slipped her legs into her skirt, she just desperately wanted to get out of there. Grabbing her hand bag and shoes she headed for the door. Horrified William snatched a robe from the dresser and quickly wrapped it around himself, catching Buffy's arm before she could get to the door. He turned her to look at him.

"Buffy talk to me, what's going on?" He asked sounding desperate.

"How can you love me?" She asked shaking her head.

"Buffy I love who you are, how you try... you sacrificed everything to save Dawn, to save the world..." She quickly interrupted him.

"Is that what you think? That I did it to save your precious world? I didn't, I did it for her. Dawn is apart of me, I felt it long before your stupid watcher said anything to me about what the monks had done... when I'm near her its the only time I feel anything other then dead." Buffy finished.

"I know..." William replied moving forward. He reached out his hand to cup her cheek but she jerked back as if his touch had burned her. He recoiled his hand, letting it slump to his side. He couldn't hide the look of hurt of his face.

"Buffy please..." His voice begging her now.

"You should know better then to fall in love with another vampire." She snapped at him. William's face softened.

"Buffy you're not a vampire anymore." He whispered gently. She put her head down realizing her mistake, sighing she looked back up at him.

"No but I was... second worst on record next to Dru."

"That's not who you are anymore." He tried to reassure her.

"Stop kidding your self Spike, the demon maybe gone but the memory remains. The things I've seen, things I've done, it changes a person, scars them, makes them who they are."

"Where" he corrected.

"And ever shall be."

"Buffy..." He took a step towards her but she quickly stepped back.

"Stop it. Stop trying to sugar coat everything. No matter which way you put it, it still comes out the same. I have killed, murdered hundreds possibly thousands of innocent people... men, women and children and not just to feed but for fun... pleasure don't you understand that? It was some where inside of me then demon just brought it forth."

"No Buffy..."

"I shouldn't have come here... This was a mistake." She interrupted, waving her hand in the air before looking at the floor. William felt his heart break at her words something it seemed she was good at doing to him lately. Is that how she really felt?

"Please don't say that luv... That was the must incredible, amazing experience of my life. I've never felt so close and connected to someone as I did in that moment. Please don't tell me that you think that it was a mistake." Buffy could hear the fear in his voice, the need to be reassured but she knew if she gave in now there would be no turning back. It was better to end it now before he got hurt more.

She had come to learn in her many years that everyone she cared about or got close to ended up getting hurt or worse dead. If she cut it off now it wouldn't hurt nearly as much if she gave into her desires for him as it was she had already caused so much hurt. She just hoped he could move past it and move on with his life. He deserved better, someone who was worthy of his time and love. Two things she was not, she had done so many horrible things and she didn't deserve him, she didn't deserve happiness.

"I can't do this with you." She replied turning, attempting to leave again. William's plee stopped her.

"Just do one thing for me. Please you owe me that." She turned around to face him again.

"What?"

"If you can look me in the eyes and honestly tell me you don't love, that you don't feel the same way for me that I do for you, then I'll let you walk out that door and you'll never have to see me again." Buffy fought back the tears that threatened to fall. Taking a deep breath and looking into his bright blue eyes that held so much hope and love.

"I don't love you." Buffy replied firmly, coldly. She watched his face crumble, his eyes tearing over at the admission she had just given him. Guilt ridden, she looked at the floor unable to look at him anymore. She was disgusted with herself and the hurt she had caused him by being so weak.

"Goodbye William." She whispered before walking out the door closing it behind her. He didn't try and stop her this time. She stood there for a moment leaning against the hotel door finally allowing her tears to fall. She had lied to him, she had never loved anyone more in her whole life but she had to believe she was doing the right thing for him. He deserved so much more then she could ever give him. He deserved someone better, someone she had never been and never could be. With a heavy heart she wiped the tears from her eyes and walked away from the man she loved in hopes that he would have a better life with out her.

William stood staring at the door that Buffy had just walked out, how had this happened? How had he let this happen? He had allowed himself to open up, to fall in love only to have his heart shattered once again. First when Drusilla had left him saying it was for his own good, that he deserved a normal life. Then with Harmony, she had been so sweet, so nice to him but as it had turned out she had just used him for one night and then quickly discarded him the next morning. Then his mother had died leaving him to raise Dawn alone and finally Sam, Miss Initiative, he had found her being willing fed on by a vampire and before he could even process the information she had helicopter out of town with out so much as a goodbye.

Now here he stood again feeling like his heart had been ripped to shreds. Looking at the hotel door blankly, he had never thought anything could hurt so badly but when she had uttered those four simple words "I don't love you" with such clarity on her face. William had felt like he was dying. Allowing the sobs to finally rock his body as he crumbled to the floor near the bed, hugging his knees to his chest, it was only the sound of the telephone ringing that shook him from his thoughts. Wiping the tears away, he slowly picking up the receiver, placing it to his ear.

"Hello." He tried to hide the emotion's he was feeling

"Hey Spike its Xand just wanted to see how the trip was going?" He asked brightly into the phone. There was a silence at the other end and finally Xander could make out a light sobbing.

"Will... Spike is everything ok?" he asked panicked.

"God Xander I'm such a fool." William replied to his friend wiping the tears away angrily. Xander and him had been best friends since his first day at Sunnydale High. He had always talked to him about everything and he knew he could trust him with this. Getting up off the floor he sat on the bed where not even minutes ago Buffy and he had made love, he opened up to his best mate about what had just happened.


	9. Expecting

Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

_**Expecting.**_

Buffy was laying on the double bed in what had been her room for the past 5 months. She was staring up at the ceiling examining the cracks, trying to ignore the gurgling her stomach was making. She had been nursing an upset stomach for the past week now and Drusilla had been bugging her to go to see a doctor. Buffy was hesitant though. It had been 200 hundred years since she even had to worry about falling ill let alone going to see a doctor. She could feel Dru standing outside her door well before she opened it. Sitting up on her bed and resting on the headboard she watched as Dru took a seat on the bed beside her.

"How are you feeling?" She asked overly concerned. Buffy put on a brave face willing for her stomach to stop clenching for five minutes. She really just wanted Dru to stop worrying.

"I'm fine." She smiled. However, Dru didn't look convinced.

"So that wasn't you losing your breakfast about 20 minutes ago?" Buffy sighed at her comment.

_"Bloody vampire hearing"_Buffy cursed in her head.

"I've asked Cordelia to take you to the doctors." Dru informed her matter of factly.

"I'm fine really." Buffy tried to protest.

"She's already made the appointment; you leave in ten minutes so I would get ready." Dru told her heading out the door to give her some privacy. Buffy sighed; she knew there was no point arguing with her, she might as well go and get it out of the way.

Buffy and Cordelia had been sitting in the doctor's office for about ten minutes now. Before he had left the doctor had scribbled her symptoms down on a pad with a pen before he asked for her to pee into a cup. That was an interesting experience she never wanted to do again. He also got the nurse to take some blood, saying they wanted to rule out a few things out. Buffy started to drum her fingers nervously on her leg, patiently waiting for the doctor to return with the results. Finally, after what seemed forever, the office door clicked open and the doctor stepped in. He had a small happy smile on his face but didn't say anything. He took a seat in his chair before turning to look at Buffy.

"Well can I assume its good news then?" Buffy asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Congratulations are in order Miss Winters."

"Excuse me?" Buffy asked confused.

"You're pregnant." He blurted out. Buffy felt her breath catch in her throat, her skin go hot and she felt like her world was spinning into a vortex. Pregnant!! No she couldn't be she had only had sex the one time with Spike and they had used... Ah crap. They had NOT used a condom or any other kind of protection. How could she have been so careless? She scolded herself. Well in all fairness for 200 hundred years she hadn't need to worry about falling pregnant.

"No that can't... I mean... oh my god." She finally managed to splutter out. She could feel Cordi's hand on her leg in comfort. She looked into her new friends eyes and she could feel her face heating up before suddenly her world turned dark, fainting into Cordi's arms.

After Buffy had come to she had made the doctor do three more tests in front of her to check if she was really actually pregnant, denial ruling over the clear facts. However with three positive tests sitting in front of her as well as the results of the first one, she couldn't deny it anymore. She was really pregnant. She dumbly thanked the doctor for his time and walked out to the sidewalk. She slumped into the nearest thing that was hard enough to lean on while she waited for Cordelia to bring the car. She hopped in silently and stared out the window the entire drive back to the hotel.

Now she sat in the hotel foyer on one of the lounges with Cordelia sitting next to her. She laid a supportive hand on her shoulder as Buffy explained to Wesley, Drusilla, Gunn and new comer Fred that she was pregnant with Spike's child.

"So let me get this right... two month ago when Spike came here you and Spike..." Wesley begun.

"Uh huh." Buffy nodded looking at the floor as Wesley continued.

"And now you're..."

"Yep."

"And it's..."

"Oh yeah." she replied

"Dear lord." The former Watcher removed his glasses and wiped his brow.

"I swear we live in some crazy soap opera." Gunn commented, shaking his head. Drusilla stood silently from her chair and drifted into her office, the door shutting behind her. Buffy had been worried about how she would react to the news and the last thing in the world she wanted to do was upset her. True there had been a time when she wouldn't of cared less what Drusilla had thought but now after spending so much time with her, truly getting to know her, hurting her was the last thing on her agenda.

Buffy excused herself from the rest of the group. Standing, she made her way over to the door that Dru had disappeared into. She could hear the rest of the group talking among themselves. Taking a deep breath, Buffy turned the door handle and stepped into the room. As she let her eyes adjust to the poor light, she noticed that her former mentor was sitting behind a desk, going through some papers. She didn't raise her eyes as Buffy entered the room and she took it as a bad sign. Scanning the room Buffy found a chair that she could sit on. Easing into the softness of the cushions, she raised her head to start an apology to her friend.

"I'm sorry I never wanted to hurt you... I know you must be angry..." She started. The vampire looked up at her, her eyes unreadable.

"I'm not angry with you Buffy. I knew what had happened between you and Spike when it happened. Vampire smelling, remember?" Dru lightly tapped the tip of her nose.

"Right." Buffy whispered looking down. She couldn't help but feel slightly ashamed and guilty though. She knew Dru may not be necessarily angry at her but she was hurt. Buffy had seen it written all over her face. Sensing Buffy's inner conflict, Drusilla stood from her chair. She walked around the large desk and squatted in front of Buffy, taking her hands with hers as she did so.

"Buffy. Look at me." Buffy looked up, her tears shining in her eyes. Buffy realized she had never felt so afraid.

"I'm not angry really. Spike and I haven't been together for a very long time. He is bound to move on. I was just shocked is all."

"Join the club." Buffy whispered allowing a tear to fall. Dru reached up wiping the fallen tear away.

"Everything is going to be okay, I promise." Dru smiled up at her and Buffy truly believed it for that moment. However both women jumped to their feet at the sound of smashing glass coming from the foyer. Buffy's eyes popped in alarm as Fred's ear piecing scream tore though the hotel. Buffy could see that Dru had already ripped the door open and running out to the foyer. Giving herself a second to gather herself, she tore after her.

What she was greeted with was far from what she was expecting. Wesley and Gunn lay on the ground motionless. Gunn was covered in small shards of glass and the cabinet near him was almost bent in half. Wesley was closer to the entry doorway although he didn't look any better off then Gunn. A large demon advanced on Fred, snarling at her as her hands feebly held a sword. Cordelia in an attempt to help Fred picked up the closest thing to her, a baseball bat. She stole up behind the demon and swiftly womped the bat across its middle back. Roaring, the demon spun quickly, catching Cordelia off guard and disarming her of her weapon. Fred dropped her sword and fled, towards the stairs at top speed just as the demon swatted Cordelia into the middle of the foyer floor like she was nothing. The demon glanced back to where Fred was standing but realized she was gone. Growling, the demon scanned the room.

"Stay back." Dru warned Buffy as she made her way over to the demon. The demon seemed to realize it was up against something far stronger then what it was fighting before. Buffy stood near the clerk desk and watched on in horror as Dru and the demon fought. Kicks here and punches there, it was a sight Buffy had grown use to while living at the hotel. But when the demon suddenly got the upper hand and sent Dru flying into a coffee table, Buffy realized while she was strong, she was in no condition to fight this demon. Buffy silently prayed for Dru to get up but it seemed as though the demon had knocked her out cold. The demon turned from the souled vampire and started to advance on her.

"ABOANTION!" The demon screamed pointing at her stomach. He stopped as he spoke, his finger pointing at her, jeeringly. How had he found out? How could anyone find out? Buffy was knocked from her thoughts as Dru seemed to appear out of no where behind the demon with a sword in hand. Swinging it over her head Buffy watched as it connected with one side the demons thick neck and then cut though to the other side. Sighing in relief, she watched the head fall to the ground bouncing slightly, green goo splashing on the floor. The body followed soon after hitting the floor with a solid thud. Buffy franticly looked around the room at her friends who were all seemingly unharmed. She heard the clanging of a sword hitting the ground before Dru was at her side.

"Are you alright?" She asked her voice laced with concern as she placed a hand on Buffy's shoulder.

"When he said Abomination he wasn't talking about me. He pointed at my stomach." Buffy explained looking up at her, letting her hand run over the place the demon had referred to.

"The baby."

"How the hell could he know I only found out an hour ago?" Buffy asked confused.

"You know how the demon world works Buffy information doesn't just spread it echoes."

"If he knows..." Buffy started.

"Every demon in LA does." Dru finished looking at her.

"What am I gong to do? I can't stay here; everyone knows I'm here, look how easy that guy found me."

"We can protect you." Gunn said moving forward. He was still dusting small shards of glass off his pants.

"No Buffy's right she's to easy to find here and if they really wanted to, they could take us by force."

"So where's she going to go?" Cordi asked as she rubbed her stomach attentively. Dru gave Buffy a pointed look and Buffy knew exactly what she was thinking.

"I was really hoping to avoid that conversation." Buffy sighed.

"I know but you'll be safe there." Buffy nodded she knew Drusilla was right. It was the only place that she most likely wouldn't be attacked. The last place many would look for her. Sure some demons where gutsy or just down right stupid but most wouldn't take on the slayer if they didn't have to. Taking a deep breath she headed upstairs. She needed to start packing.


	10. Dad

_**Chapter 10**_

_**Dad.**_

William and the gang sat around his lounge room, mountains of books and papers scattered and stacked unevenly all around them. It was just on dusk, although going out to slay vampires were the last thing on William's mind at the moment. They where all still desperately trying to decipher the prophecy about Buffy and why she had come back. William hadn't heard a word from her in the past two months although she would occasionally call Dawn she never asked to talk with him. He couldn't help but miss her. He had tried his hardest to try and not think about her but his thoughts where plagued by her, haunted by her.

He still loved her and longed for her even after that hurtful day when she had told him she didn't love him and that what had happened between them were nothing more then a mistake. He had replayed their conversation over and over in his head; her words still cut him deep. He was pulled from his thoughts by Willow's high pitched voice.

"UH HUH!" She yelled grabbing everyone's attention.

"I kept having problems trying to interpret this one word... you see Ga-Shundi is a really tricky language, hence why it's taken so long..." William could tell Willow was on the road to rambling and once she headed down that road it was hard to stop her.

"Will!" He interrupted her.

"Oh right sorry. So I thought it meant to be brought fourth or to appear right? But as it turns out it means to be born." Willow explained. William looked at her slightly confused. Giles and Xander leaned forward in anticipation.

"So what Buffy's was brought back to make sure some kid gets born?" Xander asked. Willow started to shake her head in response. She looked down into the text on her lap.

"No, Buffy was brought back in order to give birth to this child, this champion... it says **'**_**Not of good and not of dark but of both, when the end of days come they three will stand strong, one of light'**__. _That would be you Spike_, __**'One once of darkness'**__._ That's Buffy, and _**'one of both... united'**__._" Willow breathed out, the words finally making sense. Giles nodded his head, understanding what the red head was saying.

"Oh my god..." Willow whispered as everything slotted into place.

"Willow what?" William looked at his friend, not understanding what she meant.

"Buffy was brought back to have your child." Willow stated looking William dead in the eyes.

"That's ridiculous! Buffy won't even talk to me let alone... you know." He said standing from his seat. William begun to pace in front of his chair, carefully avoiding the piles of books that surrounded him.

"Well if my calculations are correct and I think they are then the conception should have happened... About two months ago."

"Oh man two months ago, your little trip to L.A." Xander reminded him.

"Wait. You slept with Buffy?" Willow asked looking slightly hurt that he hadn't told her. William stopped pacing and faced his friends.

"She would have called and told me by now."

"Maybe not, I mean it's possible she doesn't even realize she's pregnant yet." Xander reasoned with him.

"No. Buffy isn't pregnant! I'm sorry Will but you translated it wrong." William snapped.

"No. I didn't Spike. I've been working on this prophecy night and day for five months, I'm not wrong." Willow retorted her voice steady.

"You have to be." William whispered. Willow could see his friends blue eyes swimming with emotion. She felt torn, wanting to comfort her friend but knowing there was nothing she could say. Instead, she stood almost tossing the book she had in her hands aside and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder, looking into his eyes, smiling softly. William looked back, realization washing over him.

"Oh my god, that means..." He started. He was interrupted by a voice he thought he would never hear again.

"I'm pregnant." William felt his head instinctively turn to were the voice was coming from. There was no mistaking it. There standing in his lounge room was Buffy with Drusilla at her side. William felt his younger sister slide her hands around his waist in comfort and her head rest on his side as he instinctively lifted his arm and wrapped it around her. He didn't even see that she had come from behind the pair or recognized that it would have been Dawn to let them in. All William could do was gape at the pair before finally finding his voice.

"What?" He gasped his eyes only for Buffy now. His body aching to touch hers but knowing that it was best to keep his distance from her. She looked amazing, so beautiful, a vision.

"I'm pregnant." Buffy repeated. Her gaze was steady.

"Are you sure?" William felt the words fall out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"Went to the doctors. I haven't been well, throwing up and all that... I made him run the test three times, they where all positive... so yeah I'm sure." She answered nodding her head. William felt himself step forward, Dawn's grasp loosing. Buffy moved back a step, closer to Drusilla.

"Don't. You've done enough damage." She hissed. William felt as though he had been stung across the face and he stepped back, cringing at the hash words she had just spoken. Buffy watched as his face crumble, feeling guilty. Her mood swings had become more unpredictable these days, sometimes she struggled to control them like now.

"Oh god I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, the doctors say its normal... mood swings. I'm all up, down and all over the place, its crazy." She tried her best to explain.

"Yeah she's been a nightmare to live with." Drusilla breathed and Buffy threw her a sideward's glance.

"What?" Dru asked giving her an apologetic smile.

"Its okay I understand." William replied smiling softly at Buffy. She felt like melting, that brilliant smile on his perfect lips always made her feel like kissing him. But she had promised herself that she would be strong, control her feelings and keep her distance, she had interfered in his life enough already.

"We're here because Buffy was attached at the hotel after her doctor's appointment." Dru informed them. William practically leapt forward to Buffy and placed a protective hand on her shoulder. His friends and sister forgotten for the moment. All that mattered was her.

"What? Are you ok? The baby?" He asked overly panicked his eyes locked on hers. Buffy felt slightly surprised she thought he would be freaking out about her being pregnant but instead here he was slipping into the protective father roll.

"Where both fine, Dru protected us." Buffy cooed. William turned to Dru.

"Thank you." He whispered to her. Dru noticed with some amusement that he hadn't taken his hand of Buffy's arm and Buffy had made no attempt to move away from him.

"You're welcome. While Buffy was packing I did some poking around in the under ground and Buffy's pregnancy has spread like wild fire down there. They're not happy about it either; I mean lets face it this isn't a normal pregnancy. This baby has them all worried." Dru informed them.

"No I didn't think the demon community would be at all pleased about the news." Giles interjected.

"This pregnancy has them all scared, worried that he or she is going to grow up and destroy them all." Dru continued. Dawn diverted her attention to Buffy who had now managed to find a clear spot on the lounge to take a seat. William stood dumbly near by, not wanting to leave her but not wanting to get too close. Dawn could see the look of sadness and fear in her eyes. She looked like a women with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Hey! You're upsetting her." Dawn hushed them. William looked down at Buffy. Never had he seen her look so scared, so fragile before.

"Luv, why don't you go lay down for a bit? Dawn can take you to your room." Buffy nodded numbly and stood before walking over to Drusilla, hugging her tightly.

"Thank you for everything." She whispered in her ear.

"I'm always here for you Buffy, remember that. I'm just a phone call away if you ever need me." She smiled nodding lightly, letting go of the vampire she had grown to see as a friend. Buffy followed Dawn upstairs to William's room, noticing that she had grabbed her bags. Buffy smiled again. _Always looking out for me that one._ She could hear the remaining people in the lounge room talking, no doubt about her. Exhausted she slumped onto William's bed, staring into nothingness, letting her mind wander.

William now stood at his opened bedroom door, gazing in on the figure lying on his bed. Drusilla had left about ten minutes ago after informing them on the information she had found out from one of her many snitches in L.A. He examined her; she was curled up on his bed. She looked so lost, so small and almost all alone. Thinking best to leave her to get some rest, William turned to leave when Buffy's voice stopped him.

"You can come in, I'm awake." William turned back around almost dream like before walking into the room and sitting on the bed next to her. She slid up the head board into sitting position, cuddling one of his pillows.

"How are you feeling?"

"Aside from the morning sickness, just peachy." she replied sarcastically.

"Your not alone Buffy." He told her earnestly laying a hand on her exposed arm.

"That's kinda the problem isn't it?" She whispered.

"Buffy do you not want this baby?" He asked stung by the very possibility of his words.

"Oh Spike it's not that." She replied. She lightly punched the pillow.

"I never thought of having a baby is all. For two hundred years I couldn't it wasn't in the whole make up of things. It's just kinda sudden."

"I know it's a shock for me too."

"When that demon attacked I couldn't defend myself, there was just too much risk for the baby... how am I suppose to protect this baby when I can't fight?"

'I'll protect you's" He whispered rubbing her arm gently.

"I'm scared Spike. I'm so scared, everyone and everything is going to be coming for me and this baby... for centuries now I didn't have to be afraid of anything and now I'm sick with it." She confessed to him, her eyes glassing over.

"Everything is going to be okay I promise." He replied cupping her cheek, lifting her face so she was looking at him. He felt lost in her eyes as he moved forward to capture her lips with his. Their lips touched briefly before Buffy jerked away from him and stood from the bed anything to put distance between them.

"This isn't a way for us to... finish what we started in L.A." she snapped.

"Buffy I just want to be with you. Please understand that." He said moving around the bed to stand in front of her.

"I don't want to be with you." She replied fiercely.

"You're lying Buffy. I can see it in your eyes... I felt it in your touch in L.A." William moved towards her again only to have her move around him so her back was now facing the bedroom entrance.

"Stop it! This is crazy... it wasn't suppose to go this way. I jumped knowing I would die, I was meant to stay dead, what gave them the right to bring me back? I was done, finished. What gave them the right to put us in the situation? To turn our worlds completely upside down?"

"Buffy..." He tried moving towards her again only to have her move back once more.

"No you don't get it Spike... what do I have to offer a child, a human child?"

"Buffy you are human."

"But I wasn't always... what where they thinking picking me for this? I not exactly a shining beacon of good."

"Buffy they chose you because even without a soul you where capable of good, you gave your life for some else that's why they picked you."

"You know what's funny when the demon attacked today I was more hurt by the fact that he called the baby a abomination then by the fact that he was there to kill us." she laughed softly. William smiled at this.

"Of course you where, your a mother now, you feel a bond." Her face saddened at this.

"I can't do it Spike, I can't have this baby." She whispered tearfully.

"What are you saying?"

"I can't bring a child into this world knowing what I know, pushing it into the darkness with the vampires and monsters... to them he or she is just their champion, chosen one or what ever name they have for it but for me its my baby, my child... how can I expect it to face the things that we have? Is that the life you want for your kid?"

"Of course not but we will be there for him to guide and protect him." William fought desperately to reassure her.

"I can't." she whimpered.

"This child was destiny. It is meant to be born. There's no stopping that. All we can do now is protect it." Buffy nodded slightly at this.

"Buffy I want to be there for you and the baby... I want us to be a family." He told her stepping forward. He was relieved when she didn't step back and he reached forward cupping her cheek.

"Spike..." She started to protest.

"Buffy us being together is another thing that was destined to happen. It's written in an ancient scroll, how many couples can say that?"

"We're not a couple." She informed him firmly.

"Not yet but I want us to be... Buffy you know I love you." She stepped out of his reach but didn't break eye contact she looked into his eyes.

"No... You love this heartbeat." She whispered before turning and walking out the bedroom door. William stood stunned looking after her, is that what she truly thought? That he only loved her because she was human? Taking a deep breath he knew now what he had to do now and he didn't care if it took forever. He would prove to Buffy that he had loved her before. That he loved her not because she is now human. But of how she is and always has been... the one.


	11. Seeing is believing

Seeing is believing.

Chapter 11

Almost three months had gone by since Buffy had abruptly arrived in Sunnydale with her baby news, coming back into everyone's life once again. Now Buffy sat in an empty hospital waiting room with William and Giles which was odd in itself. They were both with her for support, the bonds between all of them growing stronger due to the amount of time they had been spending together. They were at the hospital for the 20 week ultrasound and check up and Buffy couldn't be more nervous. She sat between the two men, playing with the hem of her shirt. She could just make out the small bump of her belly though her clothes. William sat still, watching her questionably. Buffy hadn't uttered more then an occasional yes or no since they had left the house that morning and he was growing more concerned for her by the minute.

"Luv, are you alright?" William asked watching her. His blue eyes searching for a sign, anything to explain her behavior.

"Fine." She replied. He wasn't buying it however and raising an eye brow at her she sighed giving in to him.

"What if there's something wrong?" Buffy asked, panicked. At this question Giles put the magazine he had been reading down and focused his attention on her as well.

"With the baby?" Giles asked.

"Yeah... I mean this isn't exactly a normal pregnancy. A former master vampire dies saving the world then is brought back three months later human. Still powerful. Still strong. She and a slayer then hook up and before you can say easy bake over there's a bun in mine." William laughed softly at this; the girl did have a way with words.

"This child was prophesized Buffy. I find it hard to believe there would be any abnormalities within the child." Giles tried to reassure her.

"What if it has horns or a tail?"

"Excuse me?" Giles asked a bit shocked.

"Well I was a demon."

"But you're not anymore." William chimed in. He couldn't understand why she kept referring to herself as the demon she once was.

"No? Then where does the power come from then?"

"Buffy luv the powers that be gave you that power so when the baby was born you will be able to protect it. You're not a demon and this baby doesn't come from evil, it comes from good. You'll see the baby is going to be fine, no horns, tail's _or_ slime." William reassured her rubbing her arm. Buffy looked up at the doctor who had just stepped into the waiting room calling her name. Collecting her stuff that she had laid on the floor at her feet, William and Giles followed her into the ultrasound room.

Buffy lay on the doctor's examination table nervously as the doctor asked her to move her shirt up, just under her breasts. She also asked her if she could lower her jeans down just above the line of her pubic hair. She said it would allow him to have better access to view the baby. She watched in fascination as the doctor squirted a cold jelly like gel onto her now small firm bump she had become accustomed to that had begun to form a few weeks ago. The doctor picked up what Buffy could only think was the probe and placed it on the cool gel on her stomach, pushing the gel around a little. The doctor turned to the screen of the machine near by which the wand was now illuminating soft white and grey's of colour.

"Ok here we go." The doctor turned the screen towards Buffy for easier viewing. Viewing the screen in awe, she felt herself getting lost in what the doctor was telling her. She could actually see the shapes he was talking about as he pointed them out, making her heart sing with joy as he did.

"There are the legs, arms, heartbeat and the head. That there is the cord." The doctor swished the wand around her stomach expertly, applying a little pressure so she could see the baby's features more closely. With the other hand she gestured to the screen as she spoke, occasionally taking the time to push a few buttons on the machine.

"Please bear with me I just need to take some measurements." Buffy watched on fearful as the doctor clicked on the machine in front of her, occasionally moving the wand to get it in a better position. She could see at one point the doctor monitoring the baby's heart beat and measuring all the baby's limbs. It was strange that she could see all these things where sometimes it just looked like a big mass of light and dark spots. About five minutes passed and Buffy was growing more anxious by the minute, thinking the doctor was going to say that there was something wrong. Instead, she turned and smiled at her.

"It seems everything is in check here. Where you wanting to know the sex?" Buffy turned for the first time to look at William who was staring at the screen in awe, just like Giles. They were standing side by side, leaning forward slightly, eyes fixed upon the screen. Buffy almost laughed out loud at the sight of it. William turned and looked at her nodding.

"Yeah that would be great." The doctor moved the wand around a little, watching the screen intently before she spoke again.

"You are carrying a girl, a healthy little girl." Buffy beamed.

'_A girl. I'm having a girl.'_

"So everything is normal?" Buffy asked.

"She's just fine." Sighing in relief she could feel all her concerns about horns and tails melting away, ridiculing her self for thinking so bizarre. Everything was fine. She was having a perfectly healthy little girl. The doctor moved the wand over the baby's head, where you could make out its eye, nose and mouth. She could make out her little hand moving ever so slightly. Looking at the little life on the screen, she felt her heart grow she never knew she could love like this so completely.

"Your ultrasound results will be ready to pick up in a few days. Would you like a picture to show your family and friends?"

Later that night Buffy and William sat on the lounge talking and laughing about nothing in particular. They had not long finished dinner. Dawn had gone all goo goo gaga when Buffy had shown her the picture of the ultrasound and it was now sitting up on the mantle in the lounge room. Dawn had gone over Janice's for the night. She had convinced William that she wanted to give him 'space'. The house felt almost empty without her. Willow and Tara had moved out not long after Buffy had returned. Willow had explained to William it was so there would be more room for all of them but Buffy thought it was the excuse they were looking for to venture out on there own. Buffy realized that William and herself hadn't talked like this since she had first returned to Sunnydale. It was so comfortable, so happy just enjoying each others company. William personally didn't want this night to end but looking at the clock on the wall he knew it was getting late and he had responsibilities to uphold no matter how much he wanted to stay. Sighing he stood from the couch.

"I should go patrol." He stated. Buffy stood glancing at the clock also.

"Oh of course you want a hand?" She offered before much thought. She wanted to spend more time with him and she realized she missed things being like this. So simple, when it was just them, no thoughts about demons or vampires. There had been a few bold attacks against her since being in Sunnydale but they never lasted long once faced with a very angry and protective slayer.

"No I'm fine besides you should rest. You have had a big day." His voiced was laced with concern. Buffy nodded in agreement slightly disappointed that their time tonight had to end.

"Yeah I might head to bed. Sounds like a good idea." She smiled softly.

"Okay I'll see you in the morning luv." He replied planting a soft kiss on the top of her head. William had made a bit of a habit of showing her affection when he could, nothing too much to over bear her though. Thankfully she allowed it. He turned to the front door, grabbing his weapons as he did so. Just as he went to turn the door handle Buffy had a sudden urge to say something.

"Spike." He turned back to look at the blonde standing in the lounge where he had left her moments ago.

"Be careful." She cautioned.

"Always luv." He smirked as he walked out the door closing it behind him. Taking a deep breath, Buffy headed upstairs to her room. Out of habit more then anything she shut the door behind her before flicking the lamp on and begun to tug her top over her head. Buffy's eye caught the mirror of her shapened form and sighing she dropped her top to the bed before running her hand lightly over her bump. That's when she felt it. A small, light bump from inside of her. Smiling brilliantly at her self in the mirror she knew that this was what she had read in all those baby books. Her baby had just kicked her and for the first time she had felt it. She was harshly jarred from her joy however when the bedroom door was kicked open. Before she could react the demon swatted her across the face, cutting her cheek. Screaming in both terror and in sheer shock, she ducked down and tried to skittle out the door but the demon stood in her path.

She could feel her heart pounding against her chest and felt her skin go hot as she backed away from the demon trying to put the bed between her and it. She knew she would have to fight. William wasn't here to protect her. She was plagued with thoughts of worry. What would happen if this demon got lucky and hurt the baby? She could never live with herself if that happened. She looked around for a possible weapon. She could feel blood dripping from her cheek from the cut. That's when she heard the unmistakable sound of bone and flesh breaking. Whipping her attention back at the demon she could see a sword sticking out of its chest. The sword was then pulled free from the demon and it fell to the floor lifeless before dissolving into a pool of goo.

Looking up from the pool of goo on the floor Buffy could see William standing in the doorway, sword in hand. He dropped it to the floor and advanced on her quickly. He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around her bare shoulders in comfort. Overwhelmed, Buffy started to shake slightly and lent into him, letting tears fall from her eyes. Looking up at him she looked into his eyes with gratitude for she didn't honestly know what she would have done if he hadn't shown up when he had. He moved his hand up to her cheek to wipe her fallen tears away.

"You're bleeding." He whispered taking a handkerchief from his pocket and wiping the blood away.

"I'm fine. Just a scratch." She replied. He attentively wiped the wound till the bleeding stopped.

"Why did you come back?" She asked finally.

"I had a bad feeling. Slayer sense and all that." She nodded hugging him again, relief flushing over her. William ran his fingers though her hair lightly, breathing in the soft sent of her conditioner. He honestly didn't know what had made him turn around. He was almost at the cemetery when he felt a cold chill go though him, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. He just knew right then that Buffy and the baby where in danger. He was now aware however that Buffy stood in his arms in only a pair of jeans and black lacy bra. Cursing himself for reacting, he could feel himself going hard. Stepping back he gave her some room.

"You should get dressed luv." She looked confused at first and then looked down at her self, eyes widening when she realized she was slightly naked. Embarrassed, she quickly covered herself with her arms.

"Oh right." She whispered. William turned around to give her some privacy. He took this time to distract himself and look at the damage of the door, thankfully it wasn't much.

"Okay all dressed." She told him. He felt like it had taken her forever to get into her pj's and he was painfully aware at the fact that she had striped down to her underwear in order to get into them. Every part of him wanted to turn around, grab her and make love to her right now but he knew she would never let him. He turned to face her smiling at her choice in pj's.

"What?" She asked when she realized he was staring.

"Yummy sushi?" He laughed softly.

"Shut up!" She said slapping his arm playfully before slipping under the covers of the bed. Realizing that she wanted to sleep William sighed and he headed for the door.

"Well goodnight luv." He said as he flicked off the light.

"Spike?" She called sounding panicked. She sat up in the bed, her face mirroring her voice. He turned to face her.

"Yeah?"

"Could you maybe... stay here... with me?" She asked sounding slightly unsure of herself.

"Sure." He nodded. He knew she was shaken up from before and he knew one night on the old couch would be fine. Slipping off his jacket, he hung it over the end of the bed before heading over to the couch that was in the corner of the room, right underneath the window.

"The good old comfy chair." He sighed. He couldn't complain not really. The couch was actually comfortable to sleep on.

"This will do." He uttered to himself.

"No... I mean can you stay here?" She corrected patting the bed sounding surer of her self now. William turned to look at her, not knowing what to say.

"Can you just hold me?" She whispered, her eyes pleading. She looked so vulnerable, so scared and was reaching out to him for comfort. Pushing his shock aside he nodded, willing himself to calm down he walked over to the bed. Quickly shedding his clothes except his underwear, thank god he had decided to wear some today; he sank into the bed beside her. Buffy held the covers up and he crawled under, letting his head sink into the pillow as she wrapped the blanket and herself around him. She rested her head on his bare chest while draping an arm across his stomach. William drew in a ragged breath, fighting for control once again. He kissed her softy on the top of her head, her hair lightly tickling his lips as he did so. He then wrapped himself around her, feeling her warmth of her entire being encircled in his arms. She lifted her head up to look at him.

"Thank you." she whispered. William noticed that her eyes were relaxed, almost dream like now.

"For what?"

"For saving us, for keeping us safe." He smiled softly at her as she lowered her head back down onto his chest. Soon he could hear her breath grow deeper a sure sign that sleep had finally taken hold of her. William smiled softly as he listened to her breathing; he wished he could spend forever with her in his arms. If she would only allow herself to be with him.

"I love you." He whispered before placing one last kiss on her head allowing himself to joined her in slumber. Buffy slowly opened her eyes as a single tear escaped them.

Over the past three months their relationship had grown she realized and without meaning to she had fallen even more in love with him. She desperately wanted to be with him but a part of her still felt unworthy of his time and love but another part of her didn't care if she was worthy or not it just wanted to be with him. Maybe he was right maybe they where meant to be. She secretly hoped he was right because she could feel her resolve breaking with everyday and she knew if things kept going the way they had been she soon wouldn't be able to hold back from telling him just how much she wanted him. Closing her eyes she tried to push the thought from her mind as she willed her body to give into sleep.

w


	12. First date

First date.

Chapter 12.

The months seem to be flying by. Other then the increasing but petty attacks over the last two months Buffy's life had been consumed by her pregnancy. Dawn had squealed with delight when she had her hand on Buffy's stomach and felt the baby kick for the first time. William had also felt the baby's movements and he was always trying to put his hands on her so he could feel it again and again. Buffy didn't mind of course. She could see in his eyes every time he felt the baby move inside her he was beaming with pride and love. Willow and Tara had taken her shopping the other week to by new clothes as the ones she had brought with her to Sunnydale she was struggling to get into. Well more like unable to get into them at all would be more accurate. Buffy had been bewildered at the fact they had clothes especially for pregnant women. Her baby bump was much more noticeable now and William had noted just that morning that she was now 7 months pregnant. Today she was restless and after attempting to find something half interesting on the TV for almost an hour she gave up. Standing from the lounge Buffy sighed placing the remote on the coffee table. She headed to the kitchen knowing William was in there. She pulled out a vacant stool from the breakfast bar and propping her elbows on the bench, she cradled her head in her hands. William, who was leaning against the bench, looked at her amused over his coffee cup as she pouted at no one in particular.

"What's wrong luv?"

"Hmph. I'm bored, there's nothing on TV." She whined. William nodded his head.

"Yeah I had noticed. Was out there flicking though channels about an hour ago now myself." He smiled at her. William glanced down at the paper in front of him.

"How about we go see a flick?" He suggested lightly. Buffy smiled softly and sliding off the stool she walked around the bench to position herself in front of him.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" She asked tauntingly. Her eyes twinkled at him as she smiled looking up at him. She pressed herself firmly against him the best she could and William couldn't help but smile back down into those green eyes that shone with mischief.

"Are you saying yes?"

"Maybe." Her voice was still taunting, like she was playing with him. He frowned and slipped away from her. Buffy looked at him, confusion clearly written on her face.

"Don't play games with me Buffy." William snapped at her slightly. He turned to walk out of the kitchen but was stopped dead in his tracks by what she said next.

"I'm not, the movie sounds great." He turned looking at her. His mouth formed a small 'o' of surprise as blue eyes filled with the shock of her words.

"I'll just go grab my purse." Buffy brushed past him as if she didn't notice his expression. William stood still looking at the place Buffy had just stood, hearing her bounce up the stairs. Had she really just agreed to go out with him? On a date none the less? It was fair to say since she had come to stay they had become rather close to one another and on occasion she had asked him to share her bed with him as a sort of comfort to her. He had noticed that every so often she would casually flirt with him but William thought it would be wise not to push it. Shaking his head he placed his coffee mug on the bench, trying to gather his thoughts when he heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. Turning, William let out a low whistle when Buffy stepped into view. She looked stunning. She had changed into a black knee length dress that she had brought recently when she had gone shopping with Willow and Tara. It showed off her baby bump proudly which made William smile inwardly. She had let her hair down just the way he liked it, it was now falling softly around her face. She had also applied some makeup, just enough to entice her features. Her feet clicked over the tiles and quickly glancing downward, William noticed that she had put on her ½ inch heels, giving her the extra height she wanted.

"Are you ready?" Buffy smiled coyly. William nodded numbly following her out the door, grasping his jacket on the way out and unable to take his eyes off her as they headed out together on their first real, official date.

A few hours later Buffy and William returned to the Summer's resident, relaxed and happy. After seeing a sappy romantic slash action flick that Buffy had chosen they had stopped at the Espresso Pump for some dinner. Their conversation was rich and hearty between them. Buffy realized that she couldn't be happier with how her night had gone with William. Laughing at an attempt of one of William's jokes, the pair stepped inside the house still laughing. However, their laughter was cut short with the sight that was before them. There in the lounge room was Dawn, tied down on one of the dining room chairs with a makeshift gag in her mouth. Upon sighting Buffy and William, she started to struggle against the bonds and tried to speak with no avail. A glint of cold metal caught Buffy's eye and she could see a man standing behind her, holding the knife in place. He pressed it lightly to Dawn's neck and she stopped moving. The man's eyes flicked blood red, a sure sign that he wasn't all he appeared to be.

"Spike." Buffy whispered her voice wavering with fear. William stood transfixed, his body tense at the sight of his sister bound so helpless to a chair.

"It's really appalling you know that." The man hissed. His voice was throaty and deep, almost mesmerizing. The pair stood still, making the effort not to push the man too far. The knife was still frightfully close to Dawn's neck. Their silence provoked the man to speak again as if they had asked the question he had wanted.

"A vampire in love with a slayer." His eyes fixed upon Buffy as they flickered red again.

"I'm not a vampire." Buffy spat out without a seconds hesitation.

"No. Not anymore anyway. But you where once, you where infamous... Now look at you. Pregnant with a slayers child... it's disgusting." His words stung Buffy like a slap in the face. She fought the tears that threatened to fall.

"Bite your tongue." William hissed at him taking a step forward as he did so.

"Uh uh ah." The man warned pushing the knife against Dawns neck. She whimpered in fear as the cold blade pressed against her once again.

"Come any closer and your sister will be as good as dead slayer." He threatened. He turned his attention back to Buffy.

"A master vampire died to save the world... how revolting. You where a pathetic excuse for a demon Buffy. Now you have this child... you know it can't be born. We can't let it." he told her. His voice dripped with anger now.

"I won't let you or anyone else hurt my baby." She retorted her tears now replaced with anger and fortification.

"You don't have a choice. The child can not live... it's destined to destroy us all." The man snapped at her, his voice rising causing Buffy to slightly jump. He dropped his tone back down as he continued to speak. This time he addressed William.

"Now this is going to be very simple slayer. Give me her and the baby and your precious sister lives."

"Don't do this please. She has nothing to do with this." Buffy pleaded with him, she could see a shadow moving softly behind the man.

"This is not my doing. You and that disgusting abomination are. The child must be destroyed!"

"I can't let you take her... I'm sorry Dawnie." Buffy whispered dropping her head but not missing the tears fall from Dawns eyes as she nodded understandingly.

"DISCADA!" Willow's voice suddenly filled the room and the man quickly burned into nothing more then a pile of ash. Willow collapsed to the ground due to the shear power of the spell as William ran to her aid. Buffy quickly ran to Dawn to untie her. Gently removing her gag she made quick haste of undoing the knots the man had bound her in.

"You know I would never have let him hurt you don't you?" Buffy asked, helping Dawn up from the chair.

"I know." She replied hugging her tightly. Buffy pulled back to look into her eyes.

"I heard Willow come in the back door. I was trying to buy some time is all."

"I know." Dawn answered hugging her again. They turned at Willows grunt and to see William helping her up from the floor.

"Your nose is bleeding." William told her, pointing to the red liquid under her nose. Willow quickly wiped the blood with the sleeve of her shirt.

"One of the kinks of doing a spell that big." she laughed softly.

"That and the splitting headache." She groaned and William helped her to the couch taking a seat next to her.

"That was a pretty powerful spell Will."

"Yeah and won't do that one again in a hurry." She groaned again rubbing her head.

"Thank you." Buffy said also taking a seat next to her. Willow smiled softly at the former vampire. She had grown quite close to her since her return.

"Not that I'm not glad your here cause trust me I really am but what are you doing here?" William asked.

"I came to get a spell book I left here the other day. I could hear that thing talking as I walked up to the front door so I figured I would come around the back and save all your butts." She explained, laughing lightly.

"Yeah well thank goodness for that, I thought I was a goner!" Dawn replied, rubbing her wrists lightly. Plonking down in the closest arm chair her eyes suddenly frowned.

"Has anyone else noticed that these attacks are getting more frequent?"

"Yeah it seems the further along I get the more desperate they are." Buffy replied.

"That's actually why I needed the spell book. Tara and I are working on a spell that will not only stop anything demonic for entering the house but will set off a sort of supernatural alarm." Willow's eyes lit up excitedly, she just loved talking about magic.

"That would be great Will." William smiled warmly. It would offer them so much more security and they wouldn't have to worry about demons doing the whole break and enter and taking a hostage routine.

"I should have it worked out by the morning with Tara's help." She informed them standing from the lounge.

"Will can you do me a favor?" William asked standing with her.

"Of course Spike."

"Can Dawn stay with you and Tara? Just until you have the spell up and running. Please?"

"No. I'm staying here with you." Dawn defiantly intervened. She stood and stepped in front of William. Her eyes flared with anger of the fact of her being brushed aside.

"It's not safe for you sweetie." Buffy told her, reaching a hand out to touch her hand. Dawn, looked down at Buffy, the anger dissolving from her eyes and she nodded understandingly.

"Yeah of course. Tara and I would love to have her over." Dawn's eyes shone at the mention of Tara's name.

"I'll go pack a bag." Dawn said racing up the stairs. William and Willow smiled at each other. While Dawn was packing, Willow managed to find the book she was after and safely tucked it under her arm. Just then, Dawn came bounding back down the stairs a bag slung over her shoulder and her pillow in her arms. Joyfully, she placed a kiss on both Buffy and William's cheeks before she followed Willow out the door and to her car. William and Buffy both followed them out to the porch and waved goodbye as the car pulled off the curb and down the street. Soon, all that could be heard is crickets chirping in the darkness.

"This isn't right Spike. Your own sister can't even stay in her home anymore without the fear of being attacked." Buffy sighed frustrated.

"It's just for the night luv." He said laying a supportive arm on her shoulder.

"I know I'm just... frustrated."

"You know I could help with that." William smirked, his blue eyes twinkling in the light of the poorly lit porch. Buffy laughed softly at his attempt of a joke, shaking her head.

"I should head to bed... I had a good night." She smiled.

"Yeah me too." They both stepped inside, William allowing Buffy to step in before him. Then, while William secured the front door, Buffy headed up the stairs. She was almost to the top before she hesitated. Something inside her was nagging at her, wanting her to ask the question but not knowing if she really should. She stopped and turned around on the stair she was on, holding on the rail for support. William was still standing at the bottom of the stairs which in itself didn't surprise her. He would have been watching her go up the stairs before he went to the kitchen as he always did. She sucked in a deep breath for courage even though she knew she didn't need to. Not really.

"Would you... I mean..." The words didn't seem to be coming out the way she wanted to. Taking another deep unsteady breath she tried to continue.

"Maybe you could stay with me tonight? I'm still a little shaken up." William smiled at her request. He realized although she was trying to be strong her voice came across so scared but also so shy and unsure of herself. Without hesitating, he quickly climbed the stairs two at a time to reach her.

"Couldn't keep me away pet." William laced his hand into Buffy's where she led them to her room. Without even bothering to get changed, they slipped under the covers, William lightly wrapping a protective

arm around Buffy's waist. Soon, they both drifted off into a comfortable sleep where they felt safe and loved by one another.


	13. Captive

_**Chapter 13.**_

_**Captive.**_

Sitting together curled up on the couch Buffy and William sat watching the end of one of many movies they had been watching that night. Just over a month had gone by since their first date and the nightmare of Dawn being taken hostage. Thankfully the attacks had started to lessen although this did nothing to sooth Buffy's nerves. In fact it made her feel more nervous. Things don't go quiet without a reason. It felt like something big was coming. However, Buffy chose to let those thoughts drift away as she sat, snuggled in William's warm embrace feeling safe and warm. She always felt safe with him; it was like everything was ok if he was there.

Thankfully Willow and Tara had figured out and put up a supernatural alarm system that not only alerted them to the presence of something demonic on the property but also prevented anything demonic from entering the house. This of course helped Buffy tremendously to actually sleep better at night when William was out patrolling. The last month had resulted in Buffy and William becoming even closer, if it were possible. They were making the extra effort to spend all their free time with one another. Buffy knew in some ways that even though William would say he wanted to be close to the baby, to feel her movements; it was a ploy to be close to her too. Not that she minded. They had yet to move forward though each too scared they might say the wrong thing to upset the other person.

Watching the movie credits start to roll Buffy yawned softly, stretching as she stood from the couch. William smiled as he watched her waddle over to the DVD player. She had gotten quite big now with only five weeks to go. She turned to look at him a small smile on her face, her eyebrows raised.

"And what's so funny?" She asked. William stood from the couch and walked over to her, embracing her by wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Just the way you were walking just now." His blue eyes twinkled and Buffy knew he meant nothing by it.

"Uh huh." She smirked back at him. She still couldn't believe this was her life, how had this all happened? How had she got here? Every part of her still felt unworthy but every part of her was also so grateful, she couldn't be happier, she was going to be a mother soon and she was finally with the man of her dreams. William let one arm drop from her waist while sliding the other around further, stepping beside her.

"You know..." She started. They both walked back to the couch, almost walking in time. William removed his hand and allowed Buffy to sit back down before he sat down beside her. He looked at her questionably, silently urging Buffy to continue.

"We haven't talked about names yet."

"What?"

"Names for the baby. We haven't even discussed it yet." Buffy lightly grazed her hand over her swollen tummy lovingly.

"Oh Buffy I am so sorry. With everything being so crazy around here, the thought hasn't even crossed my mind." William slapped himself on the forehead and Buffy let out a little giggle.

"Well luckily I have... I was thinking we could call her Elizabeth, after who I use to be. For her middle name I was thinking maybe Joyce after her grandma. You know if that's ok with you."

"Elizabeth Joyce Summers... I love it." he replied grinning.

"Yeah?"

"Defiantly." The pair smiled at each other happily. Caught up in the feeling, William felt himself move his face towards Buffy wanting to kiss her luscious lips. Buffy could feel her skin go hot and her lips begun to tingle with anticipation. She actually wanted this from him; she wasn't going to fight it not now. After what seemed like an eternity their lips met in a heated battle, their kisses were slow at first but quickly intensified. They pulled at each other desperately but lovingly, wanting to be closer to each other.

William gently guided Buffy to lie down on the couch, making sure she was resting on her side as she liked. William slid down beside her, never once breaking their kiss. He let his hand run though her hair before pulling Buffy closer still, pulling her deeper into their kiss.

Buffy felt a shiver run though her entire body as William ran his hand lightly down her leg. The silk of her nightie tickled her thigh briefly before she felt William's hand daringly slip under for a moment. Buffy let out a small moan, which encouraged William to move his hand up her thigh and around to her ass, squeezing it gently though her panties. Breaking their kiss, William moved his kisses to Buffy's neck hearing her moan once again. She unthinkingly grounded her hot mound into him making William groan himself. He could feel his member throbbing in anticipation with each time Buffy grounded herself into him and could feel her heat so close to his hand. Slipping his hand under her panties, he let his fingers graze the cheek of her ass while Buffy moaned softly in his ear again and again with each grinding she gave him. Without thought, he moved his hand down to her quim, lightly brushing his fingertips on her outer lips before sliding one down into her hot wet folds, brushing against her clit.

At this Buffy's eyes shot open and before William knew what was happening he was flat on his back on the floor and Buffy was standing. William looked up at her confused and shocked. He was sure she had wanted him like he wanted her. That she ached to be with him just like he ached to be with her.

"I'm sorry..." Buffy started but William quickly stopped her. Standing he refused to let her hurt him again with her words and explanations of why they can't be together.

"Just stop, don't even bother." He snapped storming for the front door grabbing his jacket and slipping it on.

"Spike wait. I was just going to say..." But before she could finish she was faced with door slamming in her face and William storming out into the night.

"That I want to take things slow." She finished, sighing. She had to let him know that she wasn't mad with him and that she did want him. Grabbing her long jacket and running out the front door she hoped to catch him before he got too far. She stood at the end of the footpath looking for him but of course he was no where to be seen. Buffy looked up at the sky at the sound of thunder watching as it started to rain heavily around her.

"Perfect." She sighed. She couldn't blame him for assuming that she was pushing him away again. That hadn't been her intention at all she just didn't want to screw this up. If they where going to be together she wanted to get it right, to take things slow. She realized the love she felt for him was real and wanted nothing more then to be with him. Thinking she should really get out of the rain, her thoughts where cut short when her senses went into over drive. Her skin went cold and the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. Something dark, evil and foul stood behind her growling. She silently cursed herself for running out of the house alone. The protection barrier stopped at the front steps she knew. Buffy felt her blood run cold as the shadow spoke.

"Hello lover." It drawled. Buffy turned towards the voice, that very familiar voice her breath catching as the lighting flashed to reveal the intruder. Looking into the eyes she knew all too well, so dark and cold. His eyes alone could lead you straight to hell. For her he had actually had once. Fear gripped Buffy now and she felt her hands instinctively wrap around her stomach protectively as a clap of thunder boomed overhead.

"Angelus." She whispered. Lighting lit up the sky again and she saw the vampire smirk at her before everything went dark. He then struck with such speed and force Buffy barely felt the pain of the blow he had delivered to her head before her world turned black, leaving her to slump to the wet footpath unconscious.

William had made it to the cemetery when he got the same cold chill that had come over him before about three months ago. Buffy was in trouble. The feeling was stronger then before but none the less real. It was almost like they shared some sort of supernatural connection since she had fallen pregnant. He knew when she was sad or hurt or scared and he had learnt to trust it. Sprinting back to his house in record time he found the front door open slightly. Stepping inside he called out to her franticly. Getting no answer, he searched the entire house unable to find her. Panic gripped him painfully now as he noticed her jacket missing from her coat hook and that the demon alarm had been activated.

The phone suddenly rang shrilly in his ears and he scampered to answer it.

"Buffy?" He breathed out, hoping it was her.

"It's Drusilla. I'm guessing from the panic in your voice that Buffy isn't there." The voice replied also sounding concerned.

"No we had a... disagreement. I stormed out on her and... I have this really bad feeling that something's wrong Dru."

"I'm afraid I just got word that Angelus is in Sunnydale. In fact he knows about Buffy being pregnant and he is none too pleased."

"Oh god." This had been the one thing William had been dreading. Angelus, Buffy's sire. The vampire that had been tortured by Drusilla so much she had driven him crazy before she turned him. He knew the story all too well. Drusilla had first had tormented him by slowly picking off his family members one by one until he fled to a convent. She had followed him unknowingly and waited for him to take his Holy Orders before she turned him. There was only 40 years difference between the pair. When Drusilla had been cursed with her soul it drove Angelus into a maddened rage. Then there was Darla, Drusilla's sire. Almost 400 years old when William had met her. Drusilla had killed her about 5 years ago in order to save his life. William knew though, that when Angelus had turned Buffy that he had so he could have a mate. That alone was enough to fear him. William had never had a one on one face off with the vampire but knowing his past history he was concerned for both Buffy and their unborn child. He knew he had to find them and fast. Drusilla's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Cordy had a vision of Buffy being struck on the head out the front of your house. She didn't see by whom but I don't think we need many guesses on whom it was... I'm heading your way Spike. I should be there soon. In the mean time do you think you could get Willow to do a locator spell?" She suggested.

"Dru, that's an excellent idea."


	14. Hello lover

_**Chapter 14**_

_**Hello lover.**_

When Buffy awoke she could feel her head pounding. The place where she had been stuck throbbed in pain and to top it off she could feel something on the side of her face. Realizing it could only be blood, she opened her eyes, fighting to focus on something. A harsh bright light buzzed above her head and everything seemed to be hazy, blurred some how. It was like she had slept for days. Buffy could feel her hands were bound above her head and what scared her even more she was laying flat on her back on something cold. Looking down she realized with some delight that her baby was still there. The fog seem to lift slowly from her eyes and she turned her head, trying to see something, anything that she would recognize.

"Hello lover." Buffy felt her blood run cold as Angelus whispered to her advancing as he did so. His eyes were burning into her lustfully. Buffy knew that look all too well. He reached out and cupped her cheek almost lovingly and Buffy tried to rip her head away from his cold touch. Everything about him made her sick. He moved his hand to her hair, patting her like an animal.

"I was waiting for you to wake up my sweet, have you missed daddy?" He cooed at her. His eyes seem to be dancing now.

"Where are we?"

"Where everything was as it was meant to be." He replied. His voice was light, happy like.

"What?" She whispered. Almost madly, she scanned the room. Still, nothing seemed to register to where he had taken her.

"Where we where the happiest." He sighed.

"The factory." She whispered, things finally looking familiar to her.

"Yes my love. Don't you remember when we first came here? I was so weak and you promised to restore me and you did... Oh Buffy. You where always looking after me, taking care of me and now I get to take care of you." Angelus whispered, his mouth now close to her ear.

"Stay away from me." she hissed hatefully. He looked back at her stung, like she had just slapped him across the face. He stood, looking at her. All Buffy could do was stare up at him feeling totally helpless.

"Oh mummy hurt daddy... That's not nice. It's Sunshine making you say those nasty things to me. Still he swims around you, making you weak. Not to worry my love soon everything will be as it should be, soon you will be at my side again... It's where you belong." His eyes got a far away look in them and Buffy knew that things were about to get a whole lot more serious.

"No. I never belonged with you and I never will." She snapped her voice shaking with fear.

"Hush, hush. Such nasty words you say to me. Now you just lay there and be patient my love. I have to prepare."

"Prepare for what?" The words tumbled out before she gave them any thought. Anything to delay him was good enough for the moment.

"The birth." He said the words so simply as if they were the answer to everything.

"I won't let you take her from me." Buffy spat out. Angelus laughed at this leaning towards her and placing a hand on her bulge. Buffy tried to shift away from his touch, unsuccessfully. The baby too seem to try and move from his touch before going rather still.

"Not that birth silly. While you're sleeping, while you are coming back to me, you won't feel a thing and I'll cut this thing from you. When you wake she'll be the first thing you will taste on your luscious lips." he whispered gleefully. He pressed his fingers into her womb and Buffy stifled a cry of pain.

"I won't, I could never hurt my child." The very thought made Buffy ill.

"Yes my love you always where different. Always a pinch of humanity in you, there was. But not a bother... you know the hunger when you first rise, the blood lust, you can't fight it... you'll feed on her and you will enjoy it." He whispered before turning and walking away. Buffy shook in terror a single tear escaping her eye at the thought of killing her own child. As much as she despised Angelus she knew he was right. If he did turn her, there would be nothing she could do to fight the demon's initial blood lust. She knew she had to get free. Tugging her arm restraints helplessly more tears spilled down her cheeks. Looking up to the ceiling she whispered a silent plea.

iPlease Spike. Help me./i

center/center

William placed the phone in its cradle, his mind spinning. Why hadn't Drusilla called earlier, to warn him? He would of never of left the house, left Buffy alone if he knew Angelus was in town. Shaking his head, he realized this was not the time to scold himself, he had to find Buffy and fast. He reached out to the phone again, this time to call Willow as Drusilla had suggested when he was suddenly over come with a pain in his chest. It felt like fear, panic but somehow not his own.

"Please Spike. Help me." The voice seemed to float around him, filling him with urgency.

"Buffy?" He asked looking around confused. Seeing nothing, he reached for the phone again.

"Help me Spike." The sense of fear and urgency was overwhelming now. Grabbing the nearest weapons, William grabbed his jacket and headed out into the night. Buffy's voice echoed in his mind, her pleas of help pulling him like he was attached to a cord. He didn't question it; he just followed knowing that she was leading him to her.

After about ten minutes he felt himself be cautioned, his slayer sense going into over drive. Looking up he could see a building looming in front of him. A building he knew all to well. He should have guessed Angelus would have brought her here. The place they had lived together when they had first arrived in Sunnydale. The old abandoned factory.

Buffy's pleas for help seem to be getting louder although he couldn't actually physically hear them. They had been getting more frantic and without a second thought to his own safety, he ran towards the door his thoughts focused on only one thing. Buffy.

Buffy had been franticly rubbing the rope around her wrists along the sharp rusted edge of the metal table that Angelus had tied her to. Thankfully, Angelus wasn't smart enough to bind her feet as well so she knew that as long as she could get her hands free she would have a fighting chance. She could hear him moving around in the other room muttering softly as if searching for something. The rope was giving slowly; she was about half way though she estimated. Time wasn't on her side however when she saw Angelus come back into view with a knife clutched in one hand. She froze, trying not to give away what she was doing.

"It's time my love. Time to come back to me." He cooed at her. A smile played on his lips as he stroked the blade he was holding lovingly, lost in his thoughts for that moment.

"HEY!" A voice bellowed breaking the silence. Angelus swung around to face the intruder. Buffy didn't move but was relieved to know that he had come. Her prayers had been answered.

"That's my girl." The voice continued. Buffy turned towards the sound, her eyes drinking the sight in. William stood there, his blue eyes blazing with anger and hate for the vampire that stood between them. Sensing danger, Angelus moved lightening fast to Buffy, placing the knife to her neck possessively. The cold steel sent panic coursing though her. William continued to advance although a little unsure on how Angelus was going to react to his intrusion. Buffy could see the fear in William's eyes but continued to step forward, until Angelus spoke.

"Uh huh... Naughty Sunshine. I wouldn't come any closer." He warned leaning down, grabbing a chunk of Buffy's hair and pulling her head back to expose her neck. It forced Buffy to look straight into his eyes, something that she despised. He looked down at her but she could tell he was still watching William. Sensing Buffy's caution, William stayed still.

"See my love this is our problem. The Sunshine thought it was alright to touch you, make you soft, weak and pathetic. But don't worry my love I'm going to fix that for you. I'll make the Sunshine go away and then we can be happy again." His voice was coming out revoltingly sincere but Buffy knew that his thoughts were far from it. His eyes had gone cold and hard a look he only got when something stood in his way. Something that was in his way that he wanted to eliminate. He let go of her hair slightly and Buffy's eyes flew straight to William. His eyes were filled with fear she could see. Concentrating, Buffy focused on their connection again, trying to send William a silent message.

iSpike, you have to kill him./i Almost instantly his voice filled her head, his lips not moving.

iI can't he'll kill you./i

iYou can still save her. Please Spike you have to./i She reasoned with him. Angelus was getting impatient she could tell with the current silence and his cold words sliced though the air as he spoke.

"So concerned about that parasite squirming inside of you." Angelus hissed at her placing his hand again on her baby bump. Buffy shuttered at his touch.

"KILL HIM!" Buffy screamed loudly at William, not caring now if Angelus heard or not.

"How can I?" He asked somberly, lowering his gaze from her. She knew he was struggling with what to do, if he attacked he knew Angelus would kill her before he could stop him but if he didn't he might kill both Buffy and the baby. Angelus laughed with glee.

"Decisions, decisions. What's it going to be Sunshine? Do you think you can get to me before I cut her throat? Before I make her bleed. You know I would cut her so deep that this blade will be buried in this very table. So Sunshine, sure you're fast enough to stop me?" Angelus taunted, pushing the blade into Buffy's neck once again. William felt defeated. He knew he was just too far away to get there fast enough.

"Do it Spike." Buffy yelled.

"Don't ask me to. I…I can't." He whispered.

"If you love me at all you'll send this crazy bastard straight to hell!" Buffy's words seem to echo around the room. Angelus was suddenly stuck from behind with a stern blow to the head, causing him to let go of the knife and him to slump to the floor. Growling, he spun around to face his unknown attacker.

"Watcher." He snarled before wrapping his hand around Giles neck and launching him into the nearest wall. Buffy twisted herself to see the fallen man crumple into a heap, his breathing shallow and she knew he was out cold. William seized his chance. Before Angelus had turned back around William was standing in front of him. Smiling he pulled his fist back and hit Angelus full force, square in the jaw.

Behind her, Buffy could hear punches being thrown, kicks landing on bone and flesh. She again worked desperately to free herself rubbing the rope furiously on the rusted metal until finally the rope gave, falling off her wrists. Quickly as her body allowed her, she sat up and scanned the room for a weapon, any weapon. At her feet she recognized one of William's wooden stakes; he must have dropped it during his fight with Angelus. Seizing it in her hands she suddenly felt empowered somehow. Turning she could see that William was about to lose the fight.

William gasped for air while trying to unwrap the strong vampire hands from around his neck that where quickly crushing the life out of him. He had been distracted when he had glanced over at Buffy and saw her desperately trying to free herself from the table. Angelus had used that moment of opportunity to gain the upper hand and it now it might very well cost him his life.

"Tisk tisk Sunshine. It wasn't very nice of you trying to take my love from me. She belongs to me you know, with me... Silly Sunshine thinking she could be yours. Soon she'll go to sleep but don't worry." Angelus held his free hand up to his mouth, placing one finger on his lips lightly whispering.

"Mummy will wake up again. Then we will have a party. A party for mummy oh how delightful. The first thing she will taste is the blood of her own child before me and her have you for desert." He clapped his hand over his mouth now, like a little child who had just spilt a big secret. His other hand still squeezed at William's throat, making him see stars dancing before his eyes. Angelus then laughed loudly and William realized that this vampire was indeed a lunatic.

"I don't think so." The grip from William's neck was suddenly released and he hit the floor with a silent thud. Looking up he saw Buffy standing behind Angelus and she wore a look of pure determination. Angelus' hands flew to his chest where a chunk of wood protruded. He turned to face Buffy, his face to William unreadable.

"Buffy?" He whispered shock and betrayal written all over his face. Buffy said nothing as she watched him turn to ash before her eyes, the wooden stake she had embedded in him clanking to the floor. William stood rubbing his neck tenderly.

"Are you ok?" he asked touching her shoulder.

"He made me... what I was; he was my sire Spike... I spent two hundred years with him." Buffy whispered her eyes on the pile of ashes at her feet.

"I'm sorry luv." William consoled. Buffy lifted her head at his words and he could see a sense of peace lingering on her face.

"I'm not. I'm relived." She smiled softly.

"For two hundred years I thought I loved him. But now having the feelings I have for you I know that I never really truly loved Angelus. The way I felt about him is nothing compared to the deepness and wholeness I feel towards you." she informed him sincerely. William couldn't believe his ears. Was she actually admitting that she loved him?

"Wait. What? But before..." He stuttered, mind racing. Buffy quickly stopped him.

"You stormed out of the house before I could finish. Although I don't blame you. I've done nothing but send you mixed signals for a long time now. I was so scared that if I told you how I felt you'd laugh at me, reject me. Coming back with this heart beat, this soul made me feel so unworthy of your love. I never thought a person like me after everything I have done deserved such happiness."

"Oh Buffy..."

"I don't want to muck this up by rushing into it. I want to take things slow with you Spike, like any other normal couple would do."

"But we're not normal luv."

"This is very true... That day in L.A after we... I lied to you when I said I didn't love you. I thought you deserved more, better and I didn't want to get in the way of you having a normal life, a normal relationship... I never wanted to hurt you. I was scared that if I told you I loved you I'd lose you. Everyone I care about tends to get hurt or worse around me and I didn't want that to happen to you."

"You love me?" He asked shocked but relived that she had finally allowed herself to feel it after fighting it for so long.

"You caught that did you?" She blushed looking at the ground again.

"Buffy we're meant to be and I don't care about the things you have done in you past because when I look at you all I see is the good you have done...there is no better then you... your my everything, you and this baby. Don't think that the only reason I fell in love with you because you're human." Buffy snapped her head back up and looked at him. How did he know that?"

"How..."

"Luv, I could always tell what you where thinking." She laughed softly at this. William continued.

"I was falling for you long before you became human... I was just so afraid of what would happen if I told you. I was scared you'd laugh at me." Buffy laughed softly again at his admission.

"Well aren't we a crazy pair? Holding back for the same reasons."

"I don't want to hold back anymore Buffy. I love you... you are my one and only." He whispered to her, moving closer and cupping her cheek. She leaned into his touch willingly a soft sigh of gratification escaping her lips. She looked into his loving blue eyes and felt a tear escape from her own eye.

"I love you too William." William felt his eyes glass over at her admission and he leant forward and kissed her passionately. Buffy's response was just as fierce and passionate. In that moment as they pulled themselves towards each other, all their fear and hesitation seem to just melt away. Breaking their passionate kiss they rested their foreheads against each other, staring into each others depths and breathing heavily. A groan interrupted them, a groan of pain. Whirling around they could see Giles trying to sit up and trying to fix his glasses on his nose. They raced to his side, their moment of passion forgotten for the time being. Feeling more then a little guilty, William helped his watcher into a more comfortable sitting position.

"Oh Giles are you alright?" Buffy asked, her eyes immediately scanning his head wound. She noticed that it had stopped bleeding but was still concerned for the man.

"Oh bloody brilliant." He groaned.

"How did you find us?" William asked, concerned eyes peering down at him.

"Well as it so happens Drusilla called to see if Willow's locator spell was successful. Of course I had no idea what she was talking about so she told me about Cordelia's vision. Willow immediately done the spell and I found you here. Actually, the rest of the gang shouldn't be too far away by now."

"Good old Dru." William mumbled.

"Why didn't you call us before you went looking for Buffy? And how did you find her?" He scolded.

"I was going to honest but the weirdest thing happened. I could hear her calling me for help, her voice lead me here."

"I was hoping to talk to you about that William. It's a physic link the baby has bridged between you and Buffy. Willow found it in the prophecy a few days ago she was just making sure the translation was right. It is meant to last until you face the coming darkness your daughter is meant to confront when she is older. Willow also uncovered that the reason why the attacks on Buffy have became more frequent the further she has progressed during her pregnancy is that once the child is born it will be placed under the protection of the Powers That Be."

"What?" William asked slightly confused.

"It said until the child comes of age and the end of days arrive the child will be under the protection of the Powers That Be. So in translation she'll be safe until she is to fight in the foreseen apocalypse." Giles removed his glasses from his face and started to clean them with a hanky he always kept in his pocket for such a purpose.

"That's good news, now we just have to keep you both safe for another five weeks." William said confidently. He helps Giles to his feet and Buffy stood, grabbing onto the wall. An odd expression washed across her face.

"Spike I think you got your dates wrong. I don't think we have to worry about the next five weeks." she informed them a look of pure shock on her face. She could feel the oddest sensation running down her legs.

"Why? Buffy what's wrong?" William asked reaching out to her, his face painted with concern.

"Unless I'm mistaking and I doubt it, my water just broke." She informed them matter of factly. She felt more warm liquid gush down her thighs. Then a dull pain started to build in her abdomen, growing stronger. Her legs begun to feel weak underneath her and she gripped onto William tightly frighten she may fall. William winced slightly at the pain.

"OH GOD!" she gasped leaning forward as her first contraction over took her.


	15. Elizabeth

Chapter 19 - Elizabeth.

If Buffy hadn't been in such pain she might have laughed at the current situation. Giles had his foot pressed flat to the floor in his new red sport convertible BMW 328 iC and she was leaning against William in the back seat. She was sure she was pushing him into the side panel with each contraction. But all he did was mutter small comforts in her ear and stroked her hair gently. As they whizzed past houses and buildings, William could have sworn Giles drove though every stop sign and red light in their path.

Buffy felt exhausted already and the break in between each contraction she could feel was growing shorter and shorter. She didn't't think it would happen so fast, not this fast. The doctor had explained to her that labor was a slow, drawn out process. This was no where near slow. But it was the intense pushing pain that suddenly gathered around her rear that undone it for her. She screamed at the pain and she was sure right then and there the baby was going to rip though her to get out. At that moment Giles pulled into the emergency bay at the hospital. There was a wheelchair waiting for her armed with two midwives as William had thoughtfully rang before they left the factory.

The second the car stopped Giles seemed to be around the other side of the car, moving the chair forward and offering Buffy a secure hand. She grabbed it and praying she wouldn't't get half way up and get hit with another contraction she pushed herself up onto her feet. The other pain had subsided somewhat thankfully and as she stepped onto the firm ground she could feel another contraction building. The wheelchair was placed in front of her and she reluctantly sat down.

She told herself to breath as the pain worsened and didn't't even feel the chair moving or that William was right next to her. As the contraction wore off she could see herself in a large room with a freshly made bed. The midwives begin to busy themselves doing and checking various things and asking William questions. She looked up at him and grabbed his hand. She just needed him to be close. He squeezed it gently and she squeezed it back. Knowing that he was here with her though this meant more to her then he would ever know.

After moving his prized car to appropriate parking, Giles had made his way to the closest pay phone in the hospital. First he rang Willow who he knew would be worried after not finding them at the factory at told her that Buffy had gone into early labor. After sending him near deaf in excitement, Willow promised to grab Dawn and the others and come straight away to the hospital. They exchanged goodbyes and Giles hung up. He next dialed Drusilla, knowing that she would be concerned to know what had happened at the factory also. When he rang however he got no answer. Assuming the worse he called her cell phone. It only rang once before it was picked up with a very concerned Dru on the other line.

Giles reassured her Buffy was fine and that William had gotten to her in time. He then told her that Buffy was in labor and they were at the hospital. She promised she would be there soon as she was already on her way and hung up. Just then Willow and the rest of the gang stumbled upon him. Dawn had a smile from ear to ear and begged Giles to tell her everything. So, complying with the young girl's simple wish, he found the nearest seating and sat down. He then began to tell them everything that had happened. By the time he was finished explaining and answering all of Dawn's questions the best he could he saw a very reluctant Drusilla walk into the waiting room. Before any hellos were exchanged a very weary William walked from the birthing suit. Everyone except Giles leapt out of their seats expectantly, wanting to know something anything.

"Well?" They all chorused. William scanned the room, not quite believing that everyone was there.

"She's asking for you... Dru." William informed her smiling softly. He caught a hint of a blush rising from her cheeks.

"Doctor says that Buffy's doing well." He informed the others before turning back to the doors he had just come from, motioning Drusilla to follow. They entered a dully lit room; Buffy was lying on the bed and Dru couldn't help but think how small and afraid she looked right then. William rushed back to Buffy's side, stroking her hair and whispering something in her ear. She seemed to like what ever he said because she smiled briefly. Dru took this time to look at the woman before her. She could see that she had been hurt, gauze was strapped to the side of her head, her hair was wild and messy; her forehead glistened with sweat and her face showing signs of pain even though the smile she was giving William. She saw Buffy move her head to look at her and she stepped forward, clasping her hand.

"Dru..." Buffy groaned in pain as another contraction started to take hold of her body.

"Everything's going to be okay." She whispered softly Buffy nodded, gripping her hand harder as the contraction hit its peak.

"AAARRRHHH! Oh god..." She wailed. Drusilla found herself becoming increasingly worried for the young woman bed-ridden before her. She could not remember a time or a place where Buffy had ever been in so much pain. Glancing across she could see that William's eyes were filled with despair. He was still in the same position, hadn't filched a muscle. William felt totally helpless. Here he was the Slayer and he had never felt more useless in his life. He hated it. The tight grip on his hand begun to ease and he knew that the latest contraction was winding down. Just then the doctor walked in, no doubt to check on her progress.

"Well how are we going tonight?" He asked looking up at Buffy. She lifted her head off the pillow before replying.

"How do you think I'm going?" Buffy hissed at him throwing her head back on the pillow as another contraction started and groaned in pain.

"Doc isn't there something you can give her for the pain?" Spike begged. He watched as the doctor put on a pair of gloves and examine Buffy.

"I wish I could but Buffy is fully dilated. So how about we start trying to push huh?" Buffy nodded at this and tried to reposition herself.

"Now Buffy if you could just bring you knees up, perhaps put your feet on the stirrups on either side of the bed and we can have this baby." He smiled at her reassuringly. He moved his hands to each ankle guiding her feet to the bars to rest her feet on. She could feel another contraction building and she braced herself for the pain.

"Okay Buffy lets try a nice big push."

"AAAARRRRHHHH!" Buffy screamed out, lifting her head. She pushed with the contraction, not even caring the doctor was now staring in between her legs. When the contraction finally ended she laid her head back breathing heavily and looking at Dru, tears in her eyes.

"I can't do this." She cried.

"Yes you can your strong." She reassured her.

"But the pain..." She moaned.

"You like pain." Drusilla whispered, reminding Buffy of the old days.

"This is different." Buffy growled attempting to grab Dru by the collar of her shirt. Instead she was hit with another contraction. Taking a deep breath she pushed again, screaming out her frustration and pain. The contraction dulled and Buffy vaguely heard the doctor start to speak to her.

"That's it Buffy just a little more, I can see the head crowning now. Next contraction I want you to give me a really big push okay?" Buffy nodded. Her baby girl was almost here. She could feel the last of the contraction washing away and she turned to William. His eyes were a sea of emotions but she knew he was trying to stay strong for her. He smiled softly at her, as if trying to reassure her everything was going to be ok.

"Hey." He whispered leaning in so he was face to face with her.

"Hey yourself."

"You're doing so well luv." She started to smile but it soon turned to a grimace as the pain of another contraction begun to build. She pushed again, like the doctor had asked and she felt like she was falling apart. Her mind screamed with her mouth and she could only just hear the gentle coxing from the doctor.

"That's it Buffy nice big push." Buffy gave it everything she had and was rewarded with the feeling of the baby's slipping out of her. Suddenly the ceiling started to shake and then William and Buffy were bathed in a golden glow.

"What the hell?" The doctor muttered puzzled but quickly turned his attention back to Buffy and the baby. Stranger things had happened in this hospital he knew.

"Okay Buffy I just need one more push." Buffy pushed again. One last desperate push to set her baby girl free. The room went quiet as if waiting for something. Then they heard the unmistakable sound of a baby screaming. Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. Not only could she hear the sound of her beautiful child, she could feel no pain. Looking at William she gestured upwards to the glowing light that had appeared out of nowhere.

"What's that?" Buffy asked confused.

"My guess would be that it is the Powers that Be giving you the blessing and what ever other protection they had in mind." Dru replied.

"Stealthy." William added with raised eye brow.

"Here. Say hello to your healthy baby girl." The doctor interrupted them handing Buffy the baby. A midwife had wrapped the little child in a blanket so just her little head was peeking out. Buffy's eye's lit up at the sight of her. Her eyes were closed and she was still crying. Her little nose was crunched up and her little eyebrows furrowed in her anguish. Buffy had never seen anything so beautiful and pure in her life. William peered over the blanket, awed at the sight of his newborn daughter.

"Hi Elizabeth." He whispered. Buffy offered William to take her which he did almost greedily. He wanted to touch her, hold her and love her like he knew he could do as a father. She became quiet as he walked to the other side of the bed as if it was soothing to her.

"I'm your daddy and this is your mummy and this is you're ... Godmother Drusilla." Dru gasped in shock, her hand fluttering to her mouth.

"We've been meaning to ask you but thing have been so hectic and we know that you would never let anything happen to her."

"I'd be honored." She smiled.

"Hey little one why don't you go meet you godmother." Buffy whispered. William passed his daughter to Drusilla like she was a piece of fragile glass and watched on in amusement as she nursed her close to her, rocking her softly. Only then the light above them begun to fade away. A midwife approached the threesome a smile on her face as she peered down at the new life before her.

"We need to take the baby for her shots and a few measurements. Does someone want to come with her while it's done?"

"Dru would you like to go? I really need to talk to Buffy." William asked. There was a hint of nervousness in his voice she noticed.

"I would be honoured." She replied smiling and following the nurse out of the room. William turned back to look at Buffy and realized how completely exhausted she looked.

"Hey Luv."

"Hi." She whispered back softly. William dragged the nearest chair to the bed and sat down. He reached out his hand and caressed a loose hair from her face and Buffy leaned in to his touch.

"I'm so proud of you." William whispered, gently rubbing her cheek with his thumb. She smiled and closed her eyes softly.

"Thank you." Buffy opened her eyes at this, looking at the man before her with confusion in her eyes.

"What for?"

"For giving something so amazing... for giving me a family... a beautiful baby girl." Buffy was so overcome with emotion that she fought the tears that threatened to fall. She lent forward and kissed him softly before resting her head back on the pillow.

"I know we talked about going slow like a normal couple but Buffy where not a normal couple." Buffy laughed softly at this.

"Don't I know it." She muttered. William sucked in the biggest breath possible. This was it.

"Marry me." Buffy's jaw dropped in awe and face mirrored complete shock at his request.

"Wh..wh…what?" She managed to stammer out. He took a ring from his pocket.

"It was my mothers... I love you and all I want is to spend forever with you. Please Buffy do me this honour and marry me." Buffy's eyes shined with tears and a stray tear slipped out and fell down her cheek. She begun to nod as words had escaped her for that moment.

"Yes...Of course I'll marry you." William's face lit up and he didn't't hesitate a moment to slide the ring onto her finger. She leaned towards him once again, their lips smashing against one another's, their kiss so full of passion and love. As William pulled away to catch his breath he saw an odd expression on Buffy's face.

"Luv what's wrong?" Buffy let her head fall back onto the pillow, her eyes going glassy as she stared up at the ceiling.

"Something's wrong... I don't feel so good." William leapt off his chair and racing to the door before yanking it open.

"DOCTOR!" He bellowed. The doctor rushed into the room a fleet of other medical staff in toe.

"What happened?"

"I…I don't know she was fine and then she said she didn't feel too good."

"Buffy can you tell me what's wrong?" The doctor hovered over her, waiting for an answer.

"I just feel...feel so weak." Buffy's last word came out in a whisper. A concerned expression washed over the doctor as he ordered a midwife to take Buffy's blood pressure. They were all stopped in their tracks however when they noticed a large pool of blood gathering around her and dripping onto the floor.

"Oh god... she's haemorrhaging call the code." He yelled. William found himself getting pushed back as everything thing seemed to become a blur. A siren blared and nurses and midwifes swarmed around Buffy like bees. William couldn't't take his eyes off Buffy though. Her face was now a deathly pale white and she let her head roll to one side, her eyes threatening to close. He squeezed past a nurse and reached out, stroking Buffy's hair tenderly and fighting the tears that threatened to fall.

"No... Stay with me luv. Please." He gasped her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it gently while still stroking her face with the other in desperation.

"William... she's the only good thing I've ever done... you make sure to tell her that." She whispered before letting her eyes fall close.

"No Buffy no!" Tears begun to fall and all the helplessness and desperation felt like it was choking him. He turned to the doctor, enraged, ready to rip him apart if necessary.

"What's wrong with her?" He yelled threateningly at the doctor.

"Get him out of here." The doctor barked at one of the male midwifes. He felt the man grab him on the arm and pull forcefully. Fighting the urge to pick him up and slam him into the nearest wall he let the midwife show him the door.

"Buffy... please don't leave me." He sobbed as the door swung shut. He could hear the doctor barking orders at the other people in the room fighting to save Buffy's life. William leant against the wall trying to find strength within himself. Instead he found himself sinking into a ball on the floor as the pain overtook him, sobs rocking his body.


	16. Never want to say goodbye

Chapter 20

_**Chapter 20.**_

_**Never want to say goodbye.**_

How could this be happening? William thought angrily. This wasn't meant to happen. They were suppose to be the happy family, get married, have the house with the white picket fence and live happily ever after. William sensed movement down the hallway and heard a small cry. Angrily pushing his tears away with the back of his hand, he stood to be confronted with Drusilla and the nurse that held his beautiful infant daughter. She was quiet now, her eyes closed. With one look at William, Drusilla knew some thing was wrong with Buffy. It reflected in his eyes like a mirror. She could hear the doctor in the room behind William talking, his voice urgent but she was unable to make out what he was saying. Drusilla whispered something in the nurse's ear and the nurse simply nodded, giving Drusilla the small bundle she held with care.

"Spike, how about we go and show Dawn and the other's Elizabeth. I am sure they would all love to see her." William numbly nodded his head at her but made no attempt to move from the wall. Drusilla reached out with her free arm and tugged on William's shirt gently. He reluctantly followed, his eyes hopefully glancing at the door once more to the room where Buffy lay before he entered the waiting room with Drusilla.

The second Dawn spotted Drusilla with the small bundle she held in her arms, she leapt up out of her seat and clapped her hands over her mouth to muffle the scream that threatened to burst forward. She practically tiptoed up to Drusilla and peered over the blanket to view the sleeping baby. William came up beside Drusilla, not really knowing what to do with him self. Dawn looked over at him, confused.

"Where's Buffy?" Instead of answering, William sunk into the closest waiting room chair and crumpled into a ball. Tears were threatening to fall again. He held his head in the palms of his hands and hunched over with his elbows resting on the top of his thighs. William clenched his jaw, praying that everything was just a dream, that Buffy was fine. Dawn wasn't about to give up though.

"Spike. Where. Is. She? Where's Buffy?" Dawn could feel her own eyes stinging with tears now, her stomach churning at the possible thought of some thing bad happening to Buffy. Dawn felt Willow come up beside her and wrap a comforting arm around her shoulder. William looked up at his sister, his eyes shining with fresh tears.

"She…She…" A lone tear slipped down William's cheek. "There are complications." He replied, dead toned before burying his face in his hands again and this time, his shoulders began to shake. Dawn could feel her own tears silently falling to the floor along with her brothers as she looked over to the door where William and Drusilla had come from. Giles took this moment to approach Drusilla and after a few murmured words between them, Giles simply nodded his head. Willow and Xander exchanged knowing glances before Willow moved towards Tara. This was not good.

"Can I hold her?" Dawn's broken voice cracked though the silence between the group. Drusilla smiled and handed Dawn her niece. William seemed to gain some control over himself at this point and looked up at his sister. He watched as her eyes lit up as Drusilla put Elizabeth into her arms.

"Oh." Dawn gushed. "She's beautiful." William watched on as one by one his friends crept up to his sister to look at the small bundle she now nursed. He wished he could enjoy the feeling of what was before him but his thoughts were only on Buffy. He was getting antsy, impatient and time seemed to keep ticking by with no result. He needed to think, clear his head.

Standing, William began to pace the length of waiting room. Back and forth, back and forth. He kept telling himself that everything was going to be fine. That one day that they were going to sit back and remember this day, a joyous day of when their daughter was born. He didn't know how long he had been pacing, it seemed like forever. It took him a moment to register that someone was calling his name.

"Spike. Buddy." William stopped and looked up from the floor to see Xander peering at him with concern.

"I'm fine." He grunted.

"Yeah and I'm the Easter Bunny." Xander cocked his eyebrow at his friend.

"Really I'm fine. Look." William tried to rationalise. "Buffy is going to be fine. I mean the prophecy mentions that she will be there with Elizabeth on the day of the apocalypse right?"

"Actually…" Tara interjected. William whipped around to the direction to where Tara's voice had come from, his gaze locking intently on her as she spoke.

"The prophecy says Buffy was brought back the give birth to Elizabeth it doesn't actually say she'll be there on the day of the apocalypse…" She trailed off. William's eyes flashed with anger. She sunk back into Willow for protection, afraid that William was going to lash out at her.

"So what? They think they can just bring her back long enough so she can have Elizabeth and then take her back? That they can trick us into thinking that we can be a family and then rip it away from me? Who the bloody hell do they think they are? I love her, I want to marry her and be with her as we grow old together. I refuse to say goodbye to her now." William gritted his teeth, his mind spinning. He looked up to the ceiling as if he could see something there, his eyes burning with tears that threatened to fall.

"Do you hear that? I can't lose her; I won't let you take her from me, from us. Not now." Xander still stood beside William, not knowing what to do or say. Giles rose from his seat and placed his hand on William's shoulder to gain his attention. He waited patiently for William to lower his gaze and look at him before speaking to his enraged slayer.

"William. You need to calm yourself." Giles nodded his head in the direction of the doors of the birthing suite. Turning, William saw the doctor that had been in the room with Buffy approach them. The whole room seemed to still with his very presence.

"How is she?" he asked, terrified. The doctor simply motioned for him to sit down. William shook his head defiantly. The doctor looked at him wearily, a sure sign to Giles that the news that the man was about to deliver wasn't going to be good. He kept his hand on William's shoulder, trying to show him some support.

"We where able to stabilize Buffy and stop the bleeding…"

"That's good right?" he asked hopefully the doctor frowned at this.

"She has lost a lot of blood Mr. Summers. As a result of this she has gone into a self induced coma and has not responded to any of the physical stimulation tests we have ran on her." he replied matter-of-factly. Giles watched as William's face paled.

"What does that mean exactly?" William asked slowly, confused.

"The chances of Buffy ever regaining consciousness is… minimal."

"Are you saying she won't wake up?"

"I'm saying it's very unlikely. I am sorry to deliver you this bad news at this time but you may want to conceder saying your goodbyes." William felt like he was going to be sick. How could he say goodbye? He turned away from the doctor feeling like he couldn't breathe. He reached out blindly for the wall to steady himself but found only air. How could this be happening? How could they take her away from him after all this time? He barely heard Giles thank the doctor for his efforts and ask where they could see Buffy.

William's head was spinning; it felt light but heavy at the same time. He felt his hand connect with something solid and grabbed it. Xander pulled him in close, letting William's head rest on his shoulder, trying to be strong for the person who had been there for him so many times. It was only when Giles spoke did William made an attempt to move away.

"Maybe you should go first William." he suggested. William nodded, his expression a mixture of shock and horror as followed the doctor. He somehow knew that his daughter was going to be alright with Dawn who refused to let go of her. They walked down though a long corridor, his and the doctors footsteps echoing with each step. He didn't know what to expect, what to say or do. The doctor stopped in front of him and gestured to the doorway to his left. William hesitantly pushed it open and stepped inside.

Buffy looked so small and frail on the bed before him. She was hooked up to machines that beeped occasionally and had an IV hooked up to her left arm. Her hair was a mess, her face blending in with the dull white painted on the walls. She looked peaceful, like she was sleeping. William approached the bed slowly and sat on the chair provided. He reached out and clasped her hand with his own, feeling that it was limp and without feeling.

"Buffy, luv. Can you hear me?" he asked. He felt like he was dying inside. He looked over at the ring Buffy still had on her finger. It seemed to be mocking him now as her hand stayed still, only rising and falling on her chest as she breathed. How could he say goodbye to someone he didn't want to let go of? Silent tears began to run down his face again as he tried to fathom how life would be without her. He searched her face for something, anything but found nothing. He squeezed her hand gently.

"Buffy, don't make me say goodbye. Please. Come back to me." William's voice cracked, his emotions taking hold once again. "Hey, remember the first time we met? At the Bronze? I remember you telling me that you were going to kill me in that oh so cocky swagger of yours that night. I remember feeling so disappointed that you were a vampire then." He raised her limp hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it softly. "But even back then something inside me knew that we belonged together. So please luv, don't leave me. I can't live without you. I need you and I love you." He laid his head down on her side and wept.

He didn't know how long he had laid there, holding her hand and cried till no more tears would fall. Time didn't matter to him any more. She was gone. All hope had been extinguished. Sucking in a deep breath he lifted his head and looked at her. She still laid perfectly still, her eyes closed and her chest rising and falling softly. He knew he had to be strong, had to be strong for her and for their daughter. He had to let her go.

Standing he placed her hand on her chest along with the other one and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Goodbye Buffy. I love you." He whispered before turning to walk out of the room. He could feel his heart breaking, shattering into a million pieces. He paused in front of the door, leaning his head against it lightly, trying to gather himself. Trying to stop the tears coming again.

"Hey cutie." Her voice seemed to float across the room, caressing him as it did so, filling him with all the warmth and hope in the world. William gasped, spinning around to face her. Could it be true? Her green eyes looked back at him and a hundred different emotions seem to hit him at once.

"You're not giving up on me that easy are you?" she asked, smiling softly at him. William rushed to her bed side, scooping her upper body up in his arms and hugged her tight.

"Oh god…" he sobbed into her shoulder, tears flowing down his face again but this time tears of pure joy. He pulled back, looking into her eyes, still not quite believing that she was really there. He ran his hand down her face softly before kissing her cheek.

"I was sure I had lost you luv." His face hardened a little bit. "Don't you ever do that to me again." he growled before his eyes softened once again and Buffy couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Oh God Buffy. I need to go tell the doctor." William leapt up from the bed and raced to the door. Buffy sat there, stunned. Then she saw William rip the door open so hard that he almost tore it clean off the door frame. She quietly giggled to herself, amused by his vigour to get the doctor. As the doctor entered the room, a look of concern spread across his face.

"Buffy, how are you feeling?"

"Fine." She replied as the doctor checked her stats on the monitors. Buffy sat there, still quite amused by the situation. The doctor then asked her a series of questions which Buffy answered correctly and without hesitation. The doctor looked at her stunned.

"It's a miracle." he muttered, not quite believing that the young woman was awake.

"She always was." William whispered. The doctor shook his head and walked out of the room, leaving the two reunited lovers alone once more. If he had stayed he would have seen the look of love in both their eyes and noticed the soft, gentle touches that only made them move closer to each other.

The attending doctor insisted to do a thorough check over Buffy before moving her back to the maternity wing. William had managed to pull himself away from Buffy long enough to tell everyone in the waiting room that she was awake and healthy before taking Elizabeth back with him He watched as Buffy's eyes shone with pride as he handed their daughter to her, oblivious to the doctor taking a blood sample. The staff knew better to question the woman's miraculous recovery. After all, stranger things have happened in this hospital. They were just relieved that she was showing all signs of perfect health.

After being moved to a private room in the maternity wing, William asked Buffy if she wished to see everyone else. Buffy jumped at the chance, saying that she wanted to see everyone that had been here for them. Willow, Xander and Dawn all tumbled in the room together; their smiles so wide that Buffy thought their faces were going to break any moment. They swarmed around her, offering there thank gods and its good to see you's. Tara and Anya came in next, more quietly, watching the others in their excitement. It was some time later that Giles and Drusilla appeared, with Giles' brow furrowed in deep thought. William sprung his line of questioning on his watcher at once, wanting answers.

"How is it possible Giles? I mean it's not like I'm not grateful because I am, but the doctor said that she was basically dead." William turned to look at Buffy. "No offence luv." Buffy just smiled at him knowingly.

"William, honestly I don't know." He took off his glasses and started cleaning them with a handkerchief he retrieved from his pant pocket. The room fell silent again.

"Do you think maybe the reason why I came back the way I did was for this very reason?" The words tumbled out of Buffy's mouth before she even realised it. Giles stopped cleaning his glasses and looked up at Buffy in awe. It seemed to spur Buffy on somehow though.

"I mean we always thought that the reason why I had all my vampire powers still was so I could protect myself while I was pregnant." She glanced over at Elizabeth who was sleeping soundly in the hospital supplied basinet. "But we all know that Spike did all the protecting for me. Soo…maybe the reason why I still have my powers is that the Powers that Be anticipated this happening and gave me the chance to heal myself. Because you know, really should be dead."

"My lord Buffy, I hadn't thought of that!" Giles exclaimed, putting his glasses back on.

"Well what ever the reason luv I'm just glad you're alive… I just couldn't live without you." William whispered into Buffy's ear before kissing her softly. He silently thanked the Powers that Be for giving him this second chance with her. Pulling back, William smiled at his beloved. He swore to himself that he was going to show this woman just how much he loved her for the rest of his life.


	17. I Do

_**I Do.**_

Since leaving the hospital, the first 6 months after Elizabeth's birth seem to fly by. Plans for the wedding had been made. They had decided on a ceremony just after dusk in LA, at The Bluff. This allowed for Drusilla to attend, who Buffy had asked to be her maid of honour. Buffy had also asked Dawn to be her bridesmaid. She had accepted while swelling with pride and immediately got excited at the prospect of getting a new dress to wear. William had no hesitation in asking Xander to be his best man and asking Giles to be his Groom's man. Both men had accepted, trying to hide the fact that they were so happy for the man that stood before them.

But the biggest surprise for the group was when Buffy had approached Giles one day in the Magic Shop and asked him if he would do her the honour of giving her away to William. He had stood there, baffled for a moment before accepting with his British stumbling grace. Buffy beamed before wrapping Giles in a warm hug, thanking him and saying how much it ment to her.

Elizabeth was simply thriving and her alertness and stamina was amazing to say the least. She would often babble away while watching her mother and father. She could sit by herself now and was starting to get up on her hands and knees and rock back and forth. She had one tooth and Buffy was sure she was cutting another. But besides being a little advanced for her age, there were two very distinct things that no one could miss about Buffy and William's daughter. She was extremely strong, having snapped and broken many of her toys due to frustration and annoyance. She was also very well protected.

The first attempt of an attack on the Summers home was when Elizabeth was only 3 weeks old. Buffy had been home alone at the time. Buffy had been in the kitchen when a strange thumping sound came from the lounge where she had left Elizabeth sleeping in the porta-cot. Going to investigate, Buffy walked to the lounge room, only to be knocked to the ground by the intruding demon. Jumping to her feet, Buffy went to lunge for her daughter. Before she had a chance though, she watched as Elizabeth start to glow brightly. Frightened, Buffy had looked on and gasped as Elizabeth de-materialised into many bright blue and white lights. They swirled around the demon, almost taunting it before the lights flew into Buffy's arms and re-materialising into her daughter.

The demon made a strange gurgling noise as Buffy placed Elizabeth safely behind the lounge chair. She could only imagine it was in as much shock as she was. She then lost no time in tearing the demon to pieces, letting her rage take over as she plunged her hand into its chest and ripping out its heart. She let the heart drop down onto the demon's chest and stared at the blood that now ran down her arm. William walked in the door just at that moment, panic filling him as he stared at Buffy. Soundlessly, he helped her to the kitchen, spying Elizabeth behind the lounge chair as he did so. She was quietly staring at the chair as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. He uttered a silent prayer of thanks to the Powers that Be as he helped Buffy clean up. While she had her hands running under the tap, William made a quick sidestep to put Elizabeth back into her porta-cot and disposed of the demon remains. By the time he got back to Buffy in the kitchen she was smiling and back to her cheery self, asking if Elizabeth was ok. William put her strange behaviour down to the shock of everything happening.

The second attempt was when Elizabeth had been four months old. Elizabeth had been in her room, asleep when William went in to check on her. As he slowly opened the door, he was confronted with a large demon wielding a long sword that was pointed straight at Elizabeth. Before William could take a step closer however, the demon was thrown back with such force that when it hit the wall behind it, its neck snapped on impact, killing the beast instantly. William rushed over to his daughter who looked up him, smiling sleepily. Kissing her forehead, William laid his daughter back down before tossing the demon out the window. The message was clear. Don't mess with the Slayer's daughter. Don't mess with Elizabeth Summers.

Of course that did nothing to deter Buffy on insisting that Willow put up a supernatural force field around the house. For all their houses, for that matter. Her reasoning was that even though Elizabeth had shown she could hold her own, it wouldn't stop them from hurting any other person who was close to her. It was written in the spell that no demon could enter the dwelling without invitation. This seemed to satisfy Buffy. The moment Willow had announced the barrier was up Buffy seemed to relax, smiling as she grabbed her to do list for the wedding before falling into deep conversation with Dawn about the dresses and when they would be arriving at the Hyperion.

As the day neared the whole gang prepared to go up to LA. Drusilla had told them that they were all welcome to stay at the hotel and had even had the rooms already set up. She said she had taken particular care with Dawn's room and insisted that Elizabeth wouldn't leave her side for a moment while she cared for her. The reception had been arranged to be held at the Omni Hotel's function room. Buffy had also booked a room for the night, one with stunning views of the city. William had joked that it would be their mini honeymoon when Buffy had confirmed the booking on the phone not days before. She couldn't help but feel like it was true.

It was arranged for everyone in Sunnydale to travel up to LA on the day of the wedding. Once they arrived at the Hyperion with their bags, everyone there seemed to be ready for them. There was a buzz of excitement in the air as everyone found their rooms and got comfortable. Arrangements had already been made for bags to be dropped off at the hotel Buffy and William was staying. Buffy and Drusilla had decided that the men would get ready downstairs, in the office areas while the girls would get ready upstairs. Buffy's dress had arrived the day before along with the bridesmaid dresses and were waiting up in the room Drusilla had picked for all the girls to get ready. Eagerly, Buffy affectionately kissed William before bounding up the stairs, leaving Elizabeth with Willow and Tara.

Buffy could feel her stomach flutter as she slipped on her white gown and she couldn't help but smile. This was the happiest day of her life and she couldn't be any more excited about the events that were about to unfold. She could hardly sit still as everyone else fussed around her, doing her hair and makeup. When Xander tapped on the door to notify the girls that the boys were leaving, Buffy fled out of her seat and to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her. Dawn doubled over with laughter as Buffy poked her head out of the bathroom, asking if it was safe to come out.

When Dawn and Drusilla finished taking out the last curler out of Buffy's hair, Buffy stood up and walked to the door. Flashing a smile at the women in the room she started for the stairs. As she walked down the stairs, Buffy truly felt like a princess. Her dress swished around her as she stepped down the steps and she held her head high. She smiled brightly as she stepped out the front of the hotel, getting into the awaiting limo. Drusilla was already in the limo, how she had no idea but decided not to ask any questions. Dawn got in the soon after Buffy got in. Shutting the door, the limo started moving and Buffy managed to make some small talk with Dawn and Drusilla. She didn't really know what to say. Then the conversation seemed to still and Buffy found herself staring out the window. That's when Buffy's nerves began to get the better of her. Maybe now wasn't the right time, maybe something could go wrong...

The limo came to a stop. Buffy sucked in a deep breath, trying to dismiss her negative thoughts. William was out there, waiting for her. Drusilla pushed the door open to reveal that not only had the sun set but that The Bluffs was softly lit with hundreds of candles to provide the necessary light they needed. Buffy stepped out of the car to be met with Giles' hand and a warm smile on his face. He looked stunning in his black suit and bowtie.

"You ready?" He asked. Buffy nodded and looked a head, her eyes searching for William. He stood in his place, his blue eyes shining. He too was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt and bowtie. The soft drawl of music hummed though the air. Drusilla and Dawn walked in front of her and Buffy started walking in time with the music. The rest of the gang stood in front of their chairs, smiling. Buffy could of sworn she seen a hint of a tear in Gunn's eye. She saw that Elizabeth was sitting on Willow's lap, playing with her toy, not knowing what was unfolding in front of her on this night. Her attention was shifted abruptly however when she heard Giles speak.

"I have the pleasure of giving this woman away." Giles turned to her and smiled with pride before gesturing to Buffy to take her place beside William.

"You're beautiful." William whispered taking her hand and turning to the priest. The priest began to start the ceremony. William gently squeezed Buffy's hand. He couldn't believe that he was here, marrying the woman he loved. He pulled himself from his internal thoughts as he heard the priest talking about their vows.

"Both William and Buffy have decided to write their own vows. William if you would like to go first." William abruptly turned to Xander, who handed him Buffy's ring. He then turned back to Buffy, clasping her hands with his own. He gazed into her eyes, showing her all the love he had for her.

"Buffy today I stand before you, a man in love. You are everything I dreamed of and thought I would never have. I never thought I would find someone who completes me, with whom I can be myself and that I don't have to pretend. A person with whom I can be completely honest with, share my fears, dreams and thoughts with." Buffy felt like she was floating. She smiled brightly back at him, feeling tears welling in her eyes.

"For the day we first met, I knew in my heart that we were meant to be together. That you are the one I had been searching for and not even knowing it. I believe that true love only comes once in a lifetime. My search is over. I'm here to promise you a love that will last forever, a love that will never waver in good times or bad. I'll always be here whenever you need me. I will be loyal and true to you till the end of my days and I will never abandon you. This is my solemn vow, I love you with everything I am, you're my always." William finished, slipping a matching gold band that was his mothers onto Buffy's finger. Buffy brought up her other hand to her cheek and brushed away a stray tear that had managed to fall during William's vows. She felt simply amazing. Buffy glanced over at Elizabeth, who was now sucking on the handle of her toy, a small smile playing on her face.

"And Buffy." the priest interrupted. Buffy took her eyes off her daughter and sucked in a deep breath, trying to remember what she wanted to say to the man standing before her. The man that she knew she loved and wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She turned to Drusilla, who held the simple gold band she had chosen especially for William. Drusilla handed it to her with a smile on her face, her eyes brimming with tears. Buffy turned back to William, clasping his hands in her own.

"William when you came into my life I never thought I could be good enough for you. I didn't feel like I deserved you but you made me feel like I did, like I was worthy. I love you with all that I am; you help bring me to life when I was dead inside. When I thought humans only existed to hurt each other, you showed me I was wrong. You are the one that gave me breath, life, a reason to be here." She smiled softly at him before continuing.

"I will stand with you forever. I will be there with you though thick and thin. I love what you are, what you do, how you try no matter how dire the odds are. I've seen your strength and you kindness. I've seen the best and the worst of you and I know with perfect clarity exactly that you're an amazing man. You make me complete." she finished slipping the band onto his finger. She could see William's eyes shining with tears, truly touched by her words. The priest began to speak again.

"William Summers, do you take Buffy Winters to be your lawfully wedded wife?" William took a moment to look deep into Buffy's eyes before answering.

"I do." He replied, his voice full of pride.

Buffy Winters do you take William Summers to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Buffy didn't hesitate.

"I do." She breathed.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride." the priest declared. As the newlywed couples lips met, everyone clapped around them. It couldn't have been more perfect.


	18. The Honeymoon

The Honeymoon.

The reception had gone well and without a hitch. Drusilla, Giles, Dawn and Xander had all made beautiful speeches and almost brought Buffy to tears more than once. Dinner was simple but delicious. They had cut the cake and had their first dance as a married couple. It was perfect. As the night drew to a close, all the guests bid the newlywed couple goodnight before leaving and heading back to the sanctuary of the hotel. Drusilla had given Buffy a knowing smile before wrapping the now sleeping Elizabeth more snugly in her blanket.

"She will be fine Buffy, really. You just enjoy yourself." She reassured Buffy before getting into the car to leave. Buffy had just nodded, knowing that indeed her daughter was in good hands. As the car drove away, Buffy turned back to the hotel and headed up to their suite. Standing in the elevator, she glanced at her left hand, which now bared two rings. The reality of the day was started to sink in. She was now officially Mrs Buffy Summers. Never in her wildest dreams did she think this would happen. The elevator ding snapped her out of her thoughts and she scooted out the door quickly, frightened that her gown may get caught in the door.

William was waiting on the bed, his tie loosened and the top button of his shirt undone. His jacket lay discarded over the lounge chair and his shoes and socks tucked neatly beside it. He lifted his head as she walked in the room.

"Everyone gone?"

"Yeah, Drusilla just left with Elizabeth." Buffy glanced at the bathroom. "I'm going to go and get changed, you know into something more comfortable." William just smiled at her. Buffy grabbed her toiletry bag and giving William one last smile, she entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. William stood and began to pace, not knowing what else to do while Buffy was absent. A few minutes later, Buffy re-emerged from the bathroom wearing a short black satin dressing gown. William's head instinctively turned as the door had opened and he felt his breath catch in his throat as he gazed upon his wife. She still wore her high heels and she had pulled her hair down, arranging it so it hung softly over her shoulders.

"Your gorgeous pet." he breathed stepping towards her. He wrapped his arms around her affectionately and Buffy chewed her lip nervously.

"What's wrong love?" he could feel the tension rolling off her in waves. She still looked as gorgeous as ever though. Buffy's eyes darted to the phone resting on the night stand.

"Maybe I should call and check on Elizabeth." she suggested.

"Luv, she is fine. Remember she just left with Drusilla. Willow put up the same spell at the Hyperion as we have at home. No one can get in. Everyone else is there too remember?" William was nervous too but he wasn't about to admit it to her. She was tense enough as it was. "And if all else fails we all know little Miss Summers can fend for herself."

"I know it's just for nine months I couldn't go anywhere without her you know, because she was a part of me. Then for the last six months, she has been solely dependent on me." Buffy sighed. "It's just harder than I thought it would is all. I miss her."

"I know luv. I miss her too but remember, it's just for the night." William rubbed her shoulders affectionately. He then kissed her lips softly, pushing the last bit of worries her away. He moved his hands down her sides, caressing them lightly, his eyes hungry for her. William trailed his hand across the belt of Buffy's robe. She suddenly stiffened, her hands clasping over his, her eyes filled with panic. William looked at her understandingly.

"Buffy I know we agreed to wait until our wedding night but if you're still not ready…" she quickly cut him off, knowing that he totally had the wrong idea.

"I am more than ready trust me. I think I barely lasted the last six months while we were planning the wedding." She laughed lightly.

"Then what's the problem?" he asked curiously.

"Well, it's just that we haven't made love in almost a year and a half." Buffy looked down at the floor. "I look different." She whispered shyly. "I'm worried you won't like what you see." Buffy chewed her lip as she looked back up at him, her eyes now filled with vulnerability.

"Not possible." he whispered back, keeping eye contact with her as he un-did her robe. He pushed it lightly off her shoulders, leaning back to admire her. She was now completely naked before him, except her high heels. William felt himself stiffen inside his pants.

"God, you're beautiful." he whispered huskily, drinking her in. He smashed his lips on hers and she responded by kissing him back, leaning into him as she did so. Her chest heaved against his; the only thing separating them was his shirt. Buffy must of had the same thought because suddenly William could feel Buffy's fingers undoing the buttons, pushing it impatiently off his shoulders as she undone the final button. She then ran her nails over his chest, making him shutter. God, how he loved that. Her hands kept trailing downwards, her lips never leaving his. She made quick work of undoing his pants, William stepping out of them as soon as they hit the ground. At that moment, William was thankful that he never wore underwear. One less obstacle to get out of the way.

Buffy then pushed him backwards, their lips parting as he fell onto the bed. When she didn't follow, William lifted his head to see Buffy moistening her lips with her tongue, her body positioned in between his legs. She then leaned down to his waiting cock, rolling her tongue from the base to his tip. William's hips shot upwards, crying out, the sudden sensation making his mind spin. Buffy then slipped her hot mouth over his tip, taking him into her mouth. William bit back a moan as she started to move up and down. He realised with a small smile that they had forgotten to turn the lights off.

He watched her bob up and down, her hair slipping to either side of her shoulders. He could feel his orgasm building and William desperately tried to think of something to calm himself with no avail. It was like he was going die from pleasure. Her hot mouth wrapped around his cock was seriously going to make him pop soon if he didn't do something about it. He grabbed her by the arms, pulling her up and over so she rested on the bed, staring up at him.

Buffy smiled cheekily up at him, feeling his hardness resting in between her legs. The tip of his cock throbbed against her sleek, wet pussy and Buffy pushed her hips upwards, trying to desperately rub herself against him. William lightly pushed his hand on her hip, urging her to still while lowering his lips to her ear.

"Sssh, hush kitten. I'm gunna make you feel good." His voice was husky but soft, making Buffy melt into him. He kissed her softly on the lips before moving down to her breasts. He took one of her already hardened nipples into his mouth, rolling his tongue around it and sucking on it gently.

Buffy moaned, remembering how much she missed this. The feel of him being on top of her, teasing her, making her tingle all over. She felt his hand trail downwards, his finger slipping in between her moist folds as his tongue flicker over to her other breast. Buffy jerked her hips upwards as he lightly pinched her nub, sending hot prickles all over her skin. He started moving his fingers slowly while rolling his tongue around her other nipple. Buffy cried out with delight, feeling the sides of William's mouth curl up with satisfaction. He started to move down her body now, his soft wet kisses leaving a moist trail down her abdomen.

William slid his tongue over her clit, moving his finger down and slipping into her wet core. Buffy sighed, pushing her hips downwards, urging him to nip, suck and pump her faster.

"Oh God Spike don't stop." She moaned as William continued to tease her delicate flesh. He pushed his finger in and out of her and he could feel her arousal building. He pushed into her faster while sucking on her clit with such intensity; Buffy thought she would come right then. She looked down between the valley of her breasts and her eyes locked with her husband's. His cool blue, lust filled eyes were watching her intently as he slipped another finger inside her causing her to cry out, her orgasm overtaking her entire body. Buffy threw her head back, squeezing her eyes closed as her inner muscles squeezed around William's fingers.

"Oh SPIKE!" William clamped his mouth around her clit, sucking it until he felt her go slack. He removed his mouth and fingers from her, letting his tongue slide down into her folds, feeling her jolt from the touch. He moved up her body, looking down at her with a satisfied smile on his face. His hair was tussled, his lips swollen and moist. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, drinking in the sight before him. Buffy's eyes fluttered open and she smiled back at him. She looked completely relaxed and happy he realised.

Buffy pulled him down to her lips with one fluid motion, crushing them with her own. Their tongues battled feverishly, their lips crushing each other as they desperately gasped for air, not wanting to break the kiss. William then found himself on his back and Buffy resting herself on top of his throbbing cock. He groaned as she rubbed herself down his length, tempting him even more. Her blonde hair hung around her shoulders, her breasts moving in time with the rest of her body. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Please Buffy." She looked down at him, a cheeky smile spreading across her face as she grinded herself into him once more. "I need to be inside you." William whimpered. Buffy moved her body and positioned herself so his tip just touched the outside of her entrance. She then sank herself down onto his hardness, sighing as he filled her.

"Oh Buffy." William moaned. "You feel so bloody good." She started to move on top of him, her pelvis rubbing on his. She truly looked like a vision as she moved on top of him, the way her breasts jiggled, the way her nipples still pert and hard. She quickened her movement, grinding herself into him, feeling the familiar burn in her belly. She then found herself on her back, knees pushed up to near her shoulders and William's cock being pushed deep inside her. Buffy gasped, the way he filled her was simply breath taking, his cock thrusting inside her deeper than before. She moaned underneath him, the new position driving her crazy with need.

"Oh, harder, William please" Buffy panted. "Faster, oh god." William quickened his movements inside her. It felt so good, so right to be buried inside her. He could feel her tightening around him again and his own release was building. Then, to his delight, Buffy arched her back, screaming out his name, her inner walls clamping around him, driving him over the edge.

"Oh Buffy." He moaned, spilling his hot seed into her welcoming body. Their eyes locked as he shuttered against her before letting her legs falling to her sides. With his now softening cock still inside her, he whispered the three words he would forever mean.

"I love you." Memories of the first time they were together entered his mind. Her reaction, the fear and panic and the way she had pushed him off her and said that what they had done was a mistake and left him empty and alone.

"I love you too." Her eyes were shining with love, a far cry from the emotion she had shown him when she had told him that she didn't love him. So much had changed in that time. They had a beautiful daughter, had confessed their love for one another and they were married. Life couldn't be more perfect. He rolled from on top of her, watching her legs slide down the bed slowly, stretching them out. She let her eyes flicker close, enjoying the relaxed state that her body was in. William curled himself around her, kissing her shoulder.

"Tired luv?" he asked. She opened her eyes and looked at him, smiling wickedly.

"Not even close." she whispered, sliding down the bed. He knew where she was going and when he felt her grasp his cock, stroking it gently. He couldn't be happier. Buffy took his hardening cock into her mouth, making him groan in pleasure. Tonight was going to be a long night and he was determined to enjoy every moment of it.


	19. It is time

_**It is time.**_

_**16 years later.**_

The time had come.

Elizabeth Summers stood tall and strong, staring down the main street of Sunnydale, her home town. An army of demons came towards her, expelling from the now opened Hellmouth. Anything that could walk, run, fly and sliver progressed its way towards her. But she was ready for them. The town was empty, most people evacuating weeks ago. The last left a few days beforehand, scared for their lives. Strange things had started happening, all warnings of the opening of the Hellmouth.

Sunnydale residents had always known strange things had occurred in their small community over the years. That somehow Elizabeth and her parents always put a stop to the evil that tried to overtake the town time and time again. Most of the time without the residents of Sunnydale knowing. They never asked for anything in return however, just for peace and the freedom to carry on with their everyday lives. But when blood started running down walls in people's homes, the earth began to move under their feet at any given moment and the sky started raining with fire, residents had high tailed it out of there, in fear of their lives. It was for the best. Anyone who stayed would have been a fool.

Elizabeth looked to her left to see her mother, Buffy Summers. A soulless vampire turned human. Buffy had sacrificed herself to save Dawn's life and in turn saving the world. The following years after her birth, Elizabeth knew that her mother had gone to college and obtained a degree in counselling. This was achieved with the help of her Aunty Willow and godfather, Rupert Giles. Her mother had worked at Sunnydale High school as a guidance counsellor until the school shut down last week. A job she loved doing with all her heart.

Elizabeth then looked to her right. Her father smiled at her confidently as he always did. William Summers, nicknamed Spike was the oldest living Slayer in history. To this day he still did nightly patrols, usually with Buffy by his side. He had also returned to school and obtained a degree in Teaching. He had worked at Sunnydale University as an English professor, specialising in poetry of the 18th Century. It too had shut down last week.

Seeing her parents look past her and smile lovingly at each other, made her realise how much after all these years they still loved each other. She had never known two people who loved each other as much as her parents did, their relationship was still so full of fire and passion. The most beautiful and gross thing about it was they were never shy about showing each other affection even if that meant being in front of other people.

Two years after Elizabeth was born, Buffy and William had discovered that Buffy was unable to conceive anymore children due to the severe haemorrhage she had suffered during her labour. William and Buffy had come to the realisation it would be for the best, knowing their lives where too dangerous to have another child that wouldn't have the same special abilities Elizabeth had.

It hadn't affected their relationship though. If anything it brought them closer together. To this day Elizabeth believed she had the most wonderful parents in the world. They had always been honest about her destiny and even though at first she had been scared and frightened, not wanting to face it. With her parents help however as well as their support and understanding, she had come to accept it.

Since she could remember, she had trained everyday help to shape and control her abilities. Her strength and speed seemed to come naturally as did the other talents like teleporting. It had come in handy on plenty occasions especially when having disagreements with her father over school or boys. Elizabeth smiled at the memory, remembering that each fight she had with her father would usually end with her teleporting to her room and her father running up the stairs, banging on the door, begging for her to let him in.

Behind her, stood all the other people in her life that she seen as her family. They made her feel strong, protected and most of all, loved. Willow and Tara were now married, well as married as two women could be. Willow was a high school computer teacher at Sunnydale High and Tara worked as a pre-school teacher at the local pre-school.

Xander and Anya had also married, in grand fashion. They had hundreds of photos to prove it. Anya was never a woman who did things by halves. They had two children, the oldest, a boy named Jess after Xander's late best friend. Jesse had been killed by a small group of vampires just days after her William had arrived in Sunnydale. There was only six months between Elizabeth and Jess. Anya hadn't realised she was pregnant until she was almost 4 months along. Jess and Elizabeth had become great friends over the years, due to the fact they were so close in age. Lately, they had become a lot closer then friends. The ear lashing she had expected from her father never came, instead she received his full approval and support.

Anya and Xander's second child was named Joy. She had just turned 10 last week. She was named in memory of William's mother, Joyce. Xander now ran his own very successful construction company in Sunnydale and Anya still worked at the Magic Box with her godfather Giles.

Giles still owned the Magic Box after all these years. He had married a lovely woman named Oliver about 5 yrs ago. The two had been close friends in collage and had run into each other ten years ago and old feelings had resurfaced.

Dawn now owned and ran her mother's beloved art gallery. During her travels she had met and eventually married a fighting instructor named Connor. Three years ago, Dawn had fallen pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful little girl now 2 years old, whom they named Joyce.

Gunn and Fred had married a few years ago. They also had a son who they had named Charlie after his dad; he was now 12 years old. Fred had returned to collage and successfully obtained a degree in biology. Fred now worked at UCLA as a professor while Gunn still worked full time at Drusilla Investigations. Elizabeth remembered asking Gunn why he still worked for her godmother, putting his life on the line every day. He had smiled, placed his hand on her shoulder and said. "I do it because it makes me happy to keep all those sons of bitches away from my family."

She couldn't argue with that.

Cordelia had met and married a warrior named Gruserlug, not long after Elizabeth was born. He was a firm, handsome man, very much in love with Cordelia and he would often dolt on her like she was his princess. They now had a daughter named Jasmine aged 12 and although she was their entire world, they both still worked at Drusilla Investigations.

Drusilla was not only Elizabeth's godmother but best friend. No matter what, she always seemed to be there for her. When things seemed to be confusing and scared, Drusilla was there. When she had trouble with her parents, Drusilla was there. Elizabeth was had always going to visit Drusilla in L.A, for as long as she could remember. She trusted her with everything, every fear, every hesitation and every fault. She couldn't have asked for a better godmother if she tried.

Some time ago, they had located a prophecy that said on the day of the apocalypse Drusilla would "Shanshu". Wesley had translated the word as that one day the demon inside her would die and she would be completely human once again. Elizabeth couldn't wait to see her godmother walk in the sunlight. It excited her and she knew that once this fight was over that Drusilla would walk beside her in the glow of the day.

Drusilla and Wesley had fallen in love 12 years ago. Buffy had told Elizabeth that they always had a connection, but it took them time to find out what it was. Buffy also had joked that she thought the pair were just fighting there attraction for so long that they didn't realise it. Elizabeth knew her mother was right. Drusilla and Wesley seemed perfect for one another.

Willow had found a spell to make Drusilla's soul permanent, so if Drusilla experienced a true moment of happiness, she would not lose her soul as stated in the gypsy curse. Wesley was waiting for the day he could marry Drusilla. He had been planning the wedding ever since he had discovered the true nature of the prophecy they had found on Drusilla. Elizabeth was thrilled. Wesley had wanted to marry her years ago but Drusilla wanted to wait until she was human. Wesley happily respected her wishes and said he would wait.

Now Elizabeth stood waiting for the demons, still making their way towards her and her family. They were all there. Standing behind her, supporting her as always. They were ready to fight for what they believed in. The children were safe, far away from the Hellmouth, a calming thought for all that stood before the army of growing demons.

"Are you ready?" Buffy asked her daughter. Elizabeth nodded, smirking the same trademark smirk her father always used. The sky cracked with white lighting and it lit up the night sky. Rain started to fall lightly from the sky, a dragon catching everyone's attention as it flew above their heads. Elizabeth didn't flinch, didn't hesitate, this was her destiny.

"What's the plan?" William asked his daughter, smiling at her, looking for her direction. Elizabeth stepped forward, looking back up at the dragon which was now circling above them, smirking wickedly as she raised her sword.

"Well I don't know about you dad, but I wanna slay the dragon," her parents smiled knowingly at her words. The demons were closer now, just a few more steps.

"Let's finish this!" Elizabeth shouted. The rain started pounding down as they charged towards the hoard of demons before them. Elizabeth felt calm, prepared for this was the moment she had been training for. She was ready and she knew… it was time.

The End.


End file.
